RAE ARMANTROUT (4/13) Armantrout! Armantrout! RAH RAH RAH We’re takin’ all the garbage out And AH HA HA With a hatch-an-egg, hatch-an-egg Howdja like me now:— I want ’em both to hibernate And have ’em show me how With a troubadour, troubadour Truman on the air:— Like a Cuban toucan so that you can Tell he doesn’t care Just like a tuna leg and Armantrout And RAH RAH RAH We are learning how to talk about The AH HA HA • Continue reading

KATHLEEN ROONEY (3/2) Birthday love to the Countess Kathleen! End over end on the trampoline! Purple and orange and yellow and green! With BIRTHDAY LOVE to the Countess Kathleen! • Continue reading

CHRIS CRAWFORD (2/13) Crawford! Crawford! Ya kick it in the head Ya take it if it’s offered And smoke it in the bed Ya smoke it in the bed Ya smoke it in the pasture Crawford! Crawford! You never shoulda asked her Crampoline and Trampoline And Trapper got a pelt: We trying out the Benzedrine And seeing how it felt With a Bric-a-brac and Awkward Backing up the loo Crawford! Crawford! A-whatcha gonna do Crawford! Crawford! Ya kick it in the head! Ya take it if it’s offered And then ya go to bed And then ya go to bed! And then ya go to bed!! Crawford! Crawford! And then ya go to bed • Continue reading

EMILY KENDAL FREY (1/20) A piece of chocolate cake. A wedge of lemon pie. This birthday poem is written to Emily Kendal Frey. I dunno what I can do. I never refuse to comply. This birthday poem is written to Emily Kendal Frey. Potter and Otter and you. And Dickens and Pickens and I. This birthday poem is written to Emily Kendal Frey. I bet I know somebody who Adores you and now you know why This birthday poem is written to Emily Kendal Frey. ☎ Miss Emily Kendal Frey! Impossible! don’t even try! These lions and tigers, oh my! Are for Emily Kendal Frey! Miss Emily Kendal Frey! • SATELLITE QUATRAIN CALLED “EVERYBODY LUZZ YOU” Gwendolyn’s bent upon you. Like Wendell and Mendel and I. This birthday poem is written to Emily Kendal Frey. • Continue reading

JEFF T. JOHNSON (1/19) A B C D E and F Happy birthday, poet Jeff 6 5 4 3 2 and 1 Happy birthday, rain or sun Even L M N O P Happy birthday, Model T A B C D E and F SAY IT ’TIL YOU'RE GOING DEAF Oh! Happy birthday, middle T! A B C D E F G L M N O P Q R Anecdote of Mason Jar And mamby pamby model Jeff Signature and treble clef Ticking clock upon the shelf 8 9 10 11 12 Oh! Happy birthday, out of breath SAY IT ’TIL YOU'RE GOING DEAF A B C D E and F Happy birthday, poet Jeff • Continue reading

CORINA COPP (1/18) From Kilimanjaro to Kalamazoo Ascending the top of the top. With a very happy birthday to My friend Corina Copp. Resistant, defiant, and known to refuse The reins, the whip, and the crop. With a very happy birthday to My friend Corina Copp. Slicing and dicing her vegetables through Precision incision and chop. With a very happy birthday to My friend Corina Copp. These rhymes were constructed by somebody who Adores you without a stop. With a very happy birthday to My friend Corina Copp. • Continue reading

ROMA CADY MACPHERSON-WILSON (1/2) Roma-tron, Sonomatron And RAH RAH RAH:—
 iota, sigma, omicron And AH HA HA With a rope-a-dope, rope-a-dope Rollercoaster row:— And · a bowling pin and pack ’em in Attacking from below With a matriarch, matriarch Making up the rules:— And I’m messing with Vanessa in the Fountains and the pools With an ixodid, ixodid, Ixodid tick! Rocky Mountain spotted fever with a -pherson and a Mc! Port ’n’ starboard haven’t harbored Half as many men before:— Didja make it to Jamaica Ordja have to come ashore? Row, row, row, Roman à clef, roman à clef An’ Roma turnin’ ten!— And her mama singin’ rondolet; We sing it once again With a Roma-tron and Roma-tron And RAH RAH RAH:— An automaton’ll toss baton And AH HA HA Au · tomaton’ll toss baton iota, sigma, omicron An onomatoAutobahn And tau! tau! tau! τ τ τ • Continue reading

❃ 31. There was an old person from Lawndale, First cousin to Senator Mondale. She voted for Carter, but said it was harder To jump up and down about Mondale. ❃ 32. There was an old man at O’Hare, Whose behavior was cause of despair. He tried to get into the overhead bin, ’Cuz he thought that that thing was his chair. ❃ 33. There was an old person from Bridgeport, Who left, and was pining a smidge for it. When they told him “Go back,” he proceeded to pack, Throwing things in his bag with a pitchfork. ❃ 34. There was an old person from Lakeview; No disaster could make him forsake you. He was loyal and good, but he misunderstood That not everyone relishes Lakeview. ❃ 35. There was an old man on Pulaski, Who tried to get in with a pass key. When it broke in the lock, he proceeded to knock On the doors of that block of Pulaski. ❃ Continue reading

MARK TWAIN (11/30/1835) Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain. He lost | his voice, | so can’t | complain. He spoke | of rea | son to | the Dane. Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain. ☎ Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain Rela | ted how | the King | of Spain In mad | ness hath | Polo | nius slain. Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain. ☎ Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain: His oc | cupa | tion to | be plain, In thun | der, light | ning or | in rain. Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain. ☎ Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain. The book | and vol | ume of | my brain! Ado | nis smiles | as in | disdain. Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain. • Continue reading

26. There was a young man from Waukeegan, Who was happily dating a vegan. There were times when he irked her by eating a burger, But each found the other intriguing. 27. There was an old person whose zeal Made him bug-eyed and tense at the wheel. He wasn’t much fun, and they said he was un- representative of their ideal. 28. There was an old person from Bozeman, Who greatly resembled a clothespin. The part in her hair was remarkably square— So her husband inserted his nose in. 29. There was an old man from Connecticut, Who was always forgetting his etiquette. He jumped up and sprayed us, and ate our potatoes, And made his escape through Connecticut. 30. There was a young person named Wheeler, Preserved in a jar of tequila. “I’m a gnat! I’m a gnat!” was the comment of that Hymenopterous person named Wheeler. • Continue reading

MICHELLE TARANSKY (10/26) Birthday bar Of marzipanski Love to you Michelle Taransky Folding Fan And on demandski Love to you Michelle Taransky Rubber Band And Master Planski Love to you Michelle Taransky Black and Tan And Supermanski Love to you Michelle Taransky ❂ Love to you Michelle Taransky!! Once it’s in You’ll understandski Park the van And grease the panski Love to you Michelle Taransky ❂ Continue reading

ARIELLE GREENBERG (10/24) Lasso and lariat, cap and gown, And everything in betweenberg. With a very happy birthday to The poet Arielle Greenberg. Curly and Larry’ll pay for the burial: Moe is becoming obsceneberg. With a very happy birthday to The poet Arielle Greenberg. Au contrairielle, brink of despairielle, Girly/gurlesque magazineberg. With a very happy birthday to The poet Arielle Greenberg. • 2.0 This badge’ll be fragile and clean. The Sheriff has married the Queen. Baudelairielle almanac. The more the merrier, Mack. The Terrier Barrier Reef And the scream door underneaff . . . Malarial gasolimeberg For nary an Arielle Greenberg. • Continue reading

ARIANA REINES (10/24) I follow no man, a hawk in my fist: Nor am I brilliant whenever I list. The saints on their mats | said prayers to the goddess Not too effective, if we’re being honest The goddess is gone | she’s off on an errand Judging each case with regard to its merit But thirty-two years | of knocking about, Irony, chaos, defiance and doubt Have tended to lift | the saints from their mats Hundred percent if you look at the stats I wanted to sparkle! I wanted to learn! Nobody told me it wasn’t my turn The Reines in our spines | fall meinly in signs With anapest anapest anapest lines She follows no man | the goddess it’s true My friend Ariana has turned thirty-two • Continue reading

PAIGE ACKERSON-KIELY (10/21) HA HA HO HO YER BOOTS WE ARE ALL OF US IN CAHOOTS HEE HEE HO HO THE WAITRESS WE THINK SHE SAY SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS HA HA HO HO IT’S PAIGE! SHE THIRTY-EIGHT AUTUMN IN AGE AND THE OTTOMAN OTTOMAN TURKS ARE COMMITTED TO WHATEVER WORKS ‡

 HO HO HEE HEE YER TURBAN WE DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TO DETERMINE HA HA HO HO THE DIRNDL CAN NEVER BE LESS THAN INFERNAL HEE HEE HO HO IT’S PAIGE! SHE WORKIN FOR MINIMUM WAGE AND THE WOMEN IS SWIMMIN IN HAIRCUT AND HARMON ALARMIN’ CONNECTICUT ≠ OH PLEASE DON’T SQUEEZE THE SHAMAN MY JOSHUA JOSHUA HARMON I INSIST YOU RESIST THE ROLLBACK DIRNDL-J. DIRNDL-J. DOLACK THE 80’S’ AND HADES’ BOBBINS WITH MICHAEL J. JONATHAN ROBBINS AND IT’S LOCKED UP AN OCTOPUS SQUID FOR A BIRTHDAY RHYME WITH MADRID ✹ Continue reading

MARGARET ROSS (10/17) Ross! Ross! Ross! and we’re bouncing off the walls Today’s the day, your birthday, to sock him in the balls So sock him in the balls! Today you’re twenty-six! Adderall is throwing all the punches and the kicks With the bricks! bricks! bricks! and ya gone to Nanjing! . . . NOT about to, NOT about to Modify a thing ’Cuz ya Ross! Ross! Ross! and the Margaret is a fact— Semi-crucial, enter mutual non-aggression pact ✸ Hey Nonny Nonny with a hey Nanjing:— Not about to, not about to modify a thing Ross! Ross! Ross! and we’re bouncing off the walls— Today’s the day, your birthday, to sock him in the balls ❂ Continue reading

ANAT BENZVI (10/14) When O when O when O whenzvi —midnight on the dot— Barbie, Ken, and pensive Benzvi Cleanse Anat Anat The lens, the lions in their dens, The chickens, roosters, pencils, pens The lensvi henzvi denzvi penzvi All enjoy the poet Benzvi ✺ Anat Anat Anat She cannot be forgot Anat Anat Anat A Johnny-on-the- spot Anat Anat Anat A samizdat Seurat Anat Anat Anat We love the girl a lot Oh! Anat Anat Anat And now she’s hot to trot She tried to spot the plot Anat Anat Anat We bought her another shot Anat Anat Anat And this’s all I got Anat Anat Anat • Continue reading

MARK BIBBINS (10/14) Bibbinism! Bibbinism! RAH RAH RAH with · a chatter in the cataclysm AH HA HA With a long-gone and nicotine and OW HOW HOW with suburbanism, Bibbinism MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! This · disturbin’ university and bourbon ingenue with a euphemism, euphemism YOU YOU YOU Gonna tie a yellow Bibbin ’round the old oak tree ’cuz we’re turning on the turban on the Deuteronomy Yeah! They doing unto me justlike they doing unto you— with a Bibbinism, Bibbinism slither hitherto when they doing unto you justlike they doing unto me— David HUME and Edward Gibbonism maybe number 3 —Maybe number 4!— and maybe number 5! Ten percent is half the rent it’s obvious that I’ve gone and written up the Bibbinism RAH RAH RAH gotta memorize m’catechism AH HA HA • Continue reading

NATALIE SHAPERO (10/9) Foot in boot and hand in glove a job a calling a chosen career-o today’s the day to send my love to NATALIE SHAPERO Craven maven
 raven and dove catapult truck gondolier-o today’s the day to send my love to NATALIE SHAPERO Cattle above and angel below zero to sixty and Gaius to Nero today’s the day to send my love to NATALIE SHAPERO ☎ Oh NATALIE SHAPERO! oh give her a little hug latterly rattling sadly embattling Natalie brattily love Oh natellite dish! ya never heard of! last verse—and we’re in the clear-o today’s the day to send my love to NATALIE SHAPERO • Continue reading

DARCIE DENNIGAN (10/8) I snatch up My paper and penigan Happy birthday Darcie Dennigan Bodhisattva Practicing Zenigan Happy birthday Darcie Dennigan This is now And that was thenigan Happy birthday Darcie Dennigan All join hands The women and menigan Happy birthday Darcie Dennigan ☆ Happy birthday Darcie Dennigan!! King and Queenigan Jack and the tenigan Kiss and a hug and Again and againigan Happy birthday Darcie Dennigan • Continue reading

EPIGRAM Fifty · and forty · and I’m forty-five The nose and the swan are both taking a dive Nobody knows who’ll be fit to survive Fifty · and forty · and forty-five • Continue reading

LIMERICKS 21. There was an old person named Fletcher, Who was carried away on a stretcher. When he said, “Put me down,” they one-eightied around, And then brought him back home on the stretcher. 22. There was a young man on the driveway, Who tried to put wheels on his Steinway. He concocted a plan to play Bach and Chopin While they wheeled him around on the driveway. 23. There was an old man from Connecticut, Who couldn’t tell subject from predicate. His sense of declension was cause of some tension To people who lived in Connecticut. 24. There was an old man from Kenosha: You never saw anything gaucher! His hair was a frizz and, not only that, his Manischewitz was not even kosher. 25. There was a young man on the Midway, Who wanted to write the Madrid way. When they said, “Is it likely?” he answered quite rightly, “There’s no one can write the Madrid way.” • Continue reading

ANGE MLINKO (9/19) Skip to mlou. Skip to mlink. Urgent care! I don’t care whatcha all think. Skip to mlou. Skip to msnakes, whutta mnice old, mnice old mness it all mnakes. Mnubble clickin’ yes, ma’am; mnubble click no. Getting tenure only when yer in yer overcoat. Mlisten up, Mlink coat! Yer the missin’ link. Skip to mkaraoke in mkitchen sync. Skip to mlou. Skip to mlink, yer turnin’ forty-four at the alligator rink. • Continue reading

BRIAN HENRY (9/17) • Whippoorwill and weeping willow: One is a bird; the other, a tree. Forty-one years of Brian Henry: My memory is playing a trick upon me. Henry and memory—a trick upon me Whippoorwill and weeping willow: The last is a tree; the other, a bird. Forty-one years of Brian Henry: Exemplary theater of the absurd. Henry exemplary—of the absurd Cactus wren and Northern catalpa: One has an egg; the other, a seed. Forty-one years of Brian Henry: Penury sending me something to read. Henry a-sending me something to read. • Continue reading

MARGO LUCY MACPHERSON-WILSON (9/14) Six! six! six! with a chicken and the chicks and a clock! clock! clock! and I’m tockin’ to the ticks like a five plus one it don’t matter what they done with the bricks! bricks! bricks! and the Margo turnin’ six • Mc’s! Mc’s! Mc’s! and they snappin’ lotsa pics —’pherson-Wilson!— —’pherson-Wilson!— Margo turnin’ six! Lucy goosey yes, ma’am Lucy goosey no —B’nana Santa— —from Atlanta— HO HO HO • C’mon, it’s time to go! with the chicken and the chicks and a clock, clock, clock and ya tockin’ to the ticks like a five plus one it don’t matter what you done with the bricks! bricks! bricks! ’cuz you’re Margo turnin’ six • Continue reading

CLAIRE DONATO (9/12) Amor vincit omnia, The Prioress’s motto. With a very happy birthday to The poet Claire Donato. The panda bear | is unaware; Koala dunno squatto. With a very happy birthday to The poet Claire Donato. Snitches’ britches burnin’, which is What I always thoughto. With a very happy birthday to The poet Claire Donato. • Continue reading