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MtnMama is now following Cindi
Jan 25, 2013
I came across your blog during my bi-annual Googling of the parents' names to find out if anyone died. I am entering my 5th year of exile and it is becoming more clear with each passing year that I probably will not hear from my parents ever again. Thank you for bravely sharing your pain...if you ever wonder if it helps anyone else, today it helped me and I wanted you to know that. I, also, have hope. It crops up at the most unexpected the post office, when the phone rings and sometimes just when a car drives by. It's a childish fantasy that is kept alive by the part of me that still can't understand what I did to deserve this. Being disowned is such an isolating experience. It's still one of those taboo subjects that no one wants to broach. As the disowned, I'm constantly aware that people are judging me "Well, she must have done something...". I, too, have a loving, supportive husband and wonderful, kind, loving children. Maybe that's why I still have hope. I know love is possible. I know it's not hard to chose love and I know all the wonderful things that follow when you open yourself to love. I guess, in a weird way, as much as I might think I want so desperately to understand why my parents don't love me, in reality I don't. I don't want to inhabit a world where parents throw their children away. I don't really want to understand...because if I did, that might mean I am capable of the same thing. Again, thank you.
MtnMama is now following The Typepad Team
Jan 25, 2013