After the second interruption I would have called my manager and let her rant at him. He deserves it.

Saying hi is all we really need, we don't want to be looked through, looked down on or sneered at. We're just trying to do our jobs. Unfortunately most of the questions we ask are forced on us. It's part of our job and in some cases can lead to losing it if we don't follow guidelines. I'm told to say hi to people who pass me, just to show we're paying attention. That and potential shoplifters tend to think twice if the staff seem to be awake.

I've just had a shoegasm.

SS we're all in this together unless it's you.

The reward for working hard has always been more hard work. You will never win you just have to be better at the game.

It's a self checkout, taking the job of an American.

I so love it when the customer knows much, much more about how our machines work than we, who have been using them for years, do. I have one customer who just wants to be right about everything, to the point that when I told him how our machine worked, he looked uncomfortable, fiddled with his wallet and then blurted out: "No! You're wrong!"

I really get irritated with the phrase "We're pregnant!" after all the man doesn't have to do much of the work, he just got the woman knocked up. He doesn't get the weight gain, the morning sickness, the blood pressure issues, the sleep disturbance and the labour. That's just the common stuff. When he goes though the last bit then he can say he's pregnant.

The second she held her kids behaviour as ransom for her room I would have told her she could either make them behave or leave the property until 3pm. You have other customers to think about and one person is jeopardising the safety of others. If she didn't like that option then she could go and find another place to stay.

You have my sympathy. Every single day, they never take a moment to listen to what is said but they know better than a mere till jockey. Well if we're so fucking stupid how comes you're the ones getting it wrong? REPEATEDLY!

Use your words, it's amazing how these people can complain after the fact but not speak up at the time to stop ever having a problem.

Can we please not second guess these stories? This is a place for us to rant about idiots. I have had this exact thing happen to me on a daily basis with our card machine, the contactless payment is on the side which is unusual and is a little surprising to the customers. That isn't the stupid part. The stupid part is when people can't follow a simple instruction to use the side of the reader, including my hand indicating where it is. Then point where it is. Then tapping the exact spot where they have to hold the card. SEVERAL times. People are often stupid. This is a place where we rant about it. If you want to second guess what happened go over to reddit.

Fuck the word salad, gimme the pillow!!!!! (Exclamation marks not indication of sanity.)

Damn you, TT! That was the joke I was thinking of.

Thankfully I'm allowed to reply honestly to these twunts. I look directly at them with a deadpan expression and say: "If I could predicts the numbers and tickets do you think I'd be working here? Really?" Works for scratch cards too.

SS, we had supposedly anonymous surveys in an old job, which I believed until I saw the shit-tastic manager open the sealed envelopes and piling the forms on her desk before packing them all into one, larger envelope. After that I refused to fill out anything else supposedly confidential unless I could post it off myself.

That demands a Mwahahahahahahahahah!

That's proper wording, it's a little old fashioned but it's correct.

Every. single. time.

it's a minimum £5k fine, criminal record, lost job and possible prison sentence, Sandman, that and the shop loses its alcohol licence and possible closure.

Zygons! I meant Zygons! Dr Who for the win!

All I've got in my head is Zylons.

I had a manager a little like that, told her my times and my availability on those days and she tried to ignore it completely. It was a nail in my partnership's coffin at the time (amongst other things but this really was a big nail) and took me months to find out I was allowed to change everything around to what I'd originally asked for. I loathe people like this. Makes my fist itch.

Aren't pranks supposed to be funny? Someone explain it to that little prick.

Oh you torment me, Kai!