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datawog
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There was a novelty shop in my town while I was in highschool that sold those. My friends and I joked that we should buy a bunch and race them. We had a whole plan for how to arrange their stats according to age, time since last battery change, etc. and take bets on whose won.
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As someone who actually really, really likes candy corn... this wants me to grab a newspaper and whap the inventor's nose like a naughty puppy. This is wrong on so many levels. #1: Ew. #2: SWEET AND SAVORY DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT. #3: Eeeewwwwwww. #4: And they just HAD to use pineapple pizza, to make it that much more disgusting. #5: EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW. #6: If someone fed me that I would repaint their walls with the contents of my stomach.
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I used to be terrified of geese. A result of being chased by farm geese taller than I was. Turns out they don't like it when you chase their children. In my defense I was 5, and goslings are freaking adorable.
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I did that once... except my friend had an IMAX year pass, which meant we only had to pay $5 each for feature films, and got into the documentary playing before it for free (or at least he got in for free, I might have had to shell out a few dollars, can't remember). So it was much less 'sneaking in' for a free movie and more 'welcomed in as valued customers'. So if you ever wanted to know the easiest way to get the best seats in the house, that's how. Gift yourself a pass, and go see any documentary anytime you feel like it for an entire year without dropping a dime. When an awesome movie comes in, buy the ticket and go see the free one immediately preceding it. When the first one ends, you've got a good window of time after everyone files out and before the new crowd comes in to move anywhere you want. At least, that's how it works at the IMAX connected to my local museum. With any luck, you also have a museum with an IMAX that has the same deal. FYI, we saw Dark Knight. Seeing it on that screen was THE SHIT. And the film on extreme sports preceding it was pretty amazing too. 50-foot waves that moved faster than the spray they let off, finally thundering down to whitewater in an almost deafening crash, the surfer easily gliding in front of it, riding tunnels collapsing mere feet away from them... snowboarders going down beautiful mountains so steep it would probably take an experienced mountain climber to descend, but effortlessly gliding glistening arcs of powder as they gleefully cascade through a pristine expanse of white... ... Yeah, if you can, buy a pass. You'll thank yourself.
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When my brother was little, people used to mistake him for a girl. Because my mom wasn't going to throw out perfectly good clothing just because they were pink.
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I assume they were also told the price before everything was filled. Did they not realize while paying for a $30+ order that it was 3x the listed price? Or are they just so used to theatre markups they thought that was a reasonable cost?
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I always kinda wonder about these pictures. I mean, if they're a big enough dick that they're going to take up 4 parking spaces, do you really expect them to be nice enough to wait for the other drivers to move their cars instead of just ramming them out of the way?
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Are they affiliated with SWATAWATATAA?
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I once made a character and thought it would be fun if her name was alliterative... which only lasted for a few minutes before I realized I'd just named a character KKK. A bit amazed that a shopping centre, which presumably hired an entire team for branding and signage, has less awareness about this stuff than a teenager.
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Yesterday I was on the bus, and through the window, I saw a woman walking her boxer puppy. I then watched the puppy take a huge steaming shit right in the middle of the sidewalk in front of a major shopping centre, and the woman simply walked away without a backwards glance. Some people...
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TT, I sure hope so!
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One time, my local library was getting rid of a bunch of books, and I had a friend who really liked romance novels, so... I a dozen or so books with the 'romance' sticker, shamelessly walked up to the librarian, paid the 25 cents each, and gave them to her. Though she was a tad bit embarrassed that I handed her an entire bag of sexy books clearly labeled as such outside of her classroom, and she had to walk across campus with them to get to her locker.
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"Oh I see! Not your problem, right?!" No, it fucking isn't. Your lack of understanding means nothing to me. I used to work at a drycleaner. The drycleaning process, once you put the clothes in the machine, only takes 1 hour. Therefore, the sign outside said '1 hour [company]'. However, we processed clothes in batches. White load, black load, red load, etc. So if you brought something in expecting it to be ready in exactly 1 hour, you were shit out of luck. You had to wait for the next load of your item's colour to go in. I could not even begin to count how many people complained to me about false advertising, and demanded I change the sign. Yeah buddy, I'll totally change the sign just for you. I'll make it my absolute first order of business after I get promoted to CEO of the entire fucking company. But at the moment, I am a FUCKING CASHIER. ENTRY-LEVEL FUCKING JOB. YOU THINK I HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER ANYTHING ON THE GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING SIGN?!? Cashiers control jack shit. We exist to take your money, and nothing else. Don't complain to us how corporate works, complain to CORPORATE how corporate works. It still won't change anything, but at least you won't be making someone miserable when the only crime they've committed is trying to earn a living.
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Jeezus... in the 8 years I've been able to buy scratchers, I've gotten maybe two dozen, tops. I think my biggest payout was $10. It's definitely not a good idea to bet everything on that big score, the chances are stacked WAAAAYY against you.
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Aw geez, those poor fish... I once had a whole tank die because heavy winds knocked the power out for two days in the middle of winter. You ever had it so cold that your breath misted in the living room? Fortunately for me I had a fireplace I could curl up next to, but the fish were toast. At least it was just a small tank and only had about four fish in it...
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I once had a landlady who decided we used too much TP, and started buying the cheapest, thinnest 1-ply she could find. Amount of squares of 2-ply I needed to use at a time: 1-2 Amount of squares of 1-ply I needed to use at a time: 6-10 There were freaking 8 people living there, and yet she just couldn't wrap her head around why the shared bathroom used so much more than she did in her personal bathroom... This is the same person who charged $500/month for a curtained-off cubby under the stairs. I wish I was joking.
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One of my Nana's favourite quotes is 'When trying to convert someone, if all else fails, use words'. If these dudes were serious about 'spreading God's word', they would have left the pamphlet IN ADDITION TO a hefty tip, instead of using it as an excuse to weasel out of their societal responsibilities. The pastor understood that, and wanted to make sure they understood as well.
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God, could you imagine some of these people on a Death Wish coffee? Or does the mere thought of it make you want to crawl under your bed sucking your thumb? ... yeah, me too...
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I actually did get locked in a freezer once. Pushed the bar, wouldn't open. Hit the bar, wouldn't open. Body-slammed it a few times, still wouldn't open. Banged on it for a couple minutes, finally someone came downstairs and heard so I could get out. As far as I know, nothing was ever done. 'It just sticks a bit sometimes.'
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The only time I've ever gotten a wrong pizza, I called to calmly explain what was wrong with it, and was more than satisfied with getting a new pizza while being allowed to keep the old pizza. 2 for the price of one, who can argue with that? The first one may not have been what I asked for, but it was still edible. It's not like they'd laced it with poison or screwed up an allergy request. I will never understand people who think that they deserve more than double what they ordered. I'm still a bit confused as to how they thought we wanted one half with $20 in toppings and the other nothing but olives, but I blame a language barrier and was grateful my replacement arrived delicious, hot, free, and in half the time of the original. I even called afterwards to thank them for their promptness in correcting the error.
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Since I live so close to the border, the shops occasionally get paid with the odd American coin, and every now and then us shoppers will be given those coins as change. I've seen it happen for my entire life, never thought of it as anything more than a momentary interest. 'Oh, look, this is what a US nickel looks like!' Then one time I was in the States (yes, with proper American currency), and bought something. I thought it was really neat that it just so happened that when I emptied my wallet, all of the change inside just happened to add up to exactly what I needed to pay for my purchase, not a penny to spare. What are the chances, right? Well, turns out I DID have a penny to spare, which the cashier promptly THREW at me and informed me, in the snottiest most condescending tone I have ever heard in my entire 26 years, that it was a CANADIAN penny, and clearly my inadvertently giving him one was equivalent to me offering to pay him said penny for oral gratification. And that was the moment I realized why Americans think we're so nice.
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Still better than the Suicide Squad version... at least they got her diamonds right.
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I just cannot understand people like that. If I saw something was unplugged, I'd get on my knees and unplug it. If I called in to tech support without checking only to realize that's what it was, I would be mortified and begging them not to tell anyone.
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I just came from a bar with a costume contest, and the 2nd place winner was a guy who'd built a spinning Pokestop staff. First place was a weeping angel.
Toggle Commented Nov 1, 2016 on This Pokemon GO Costume at Retail Hell Underground
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A few years ago, I saw a sign for Black Friday, and I was outraged. THIS IS CANADA! OUR THANKSGIVING WAS A MONTH AGO! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO AVOID THIS AMERICAN BULLSHIT!
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