Uggghhhh... seriously, I don't need to know that cousin Sissy isn't getting an invitation just because she started playing the bassoon instead of the oboe and that was enough irritation for the family patriarch to get her kicked out of the family will and you will too if you don't disinvite her. I just need to know how many of your wedding invitations to print.

It doesn't even look like there was originally a staircase in that location. Those steps don't even really look all that plank-like. More like sturdy branches from some poor tree close by. Judging by the windows and door, the place looks gutted as well. Perhaps its a hobo's method for getting into his squatters residence?

The one and only time I had a quick change artist, I did play along, but by my rules. He hands me a $50, and I put it crossways in the till while I gather his change. He says, hold up, I have a smaller bill. So I finish counting his change in one hand, take his smaller bill and count up all the change so it adds up to something like $51.05. I put the change back in the till, hand him his original $50 bill and the rest of his change. Of course, while I'm doing that, he's trying to distract me by saying he wanted to give me a larger bill so he could get some convoluted combination of bills. I ignore him, hand him his change and then ask what it was he was trying to say while I was concentrating on getting his change back correctly. Essentially, all I do is complete their transaction and then treat everything after as if they were just asking for change. They can keep trying to trip me up, but so long as I don't let them interrupt, I can't get it wrong.

If you're in Alaska, the mosquitos do tend to get fairly big.

This is actually a thing. http://www.businessinsider.com/austrian-footballers-invent-alpine-soccer-which-steep-slopes-montafon-2016-11

TV, I know! It's what you feed to oats.

She's gone from suck to blow!

You deserve a standing ovation!

Reminds me of a dude that we've banned from our shop. He would come in and usually just spend a few minutes on the computer, for which we charge $1. One day he asks for change for the meter. I'm thinking it's bullshit since this guy doesn't own a car. But, meh, I'll give him change since we were low on dollar bills. So, I've got the 4 quarters in hand waiting for him to hand over a bill of some sort. He just stands there, staring at my hand. I ask him, "If you need these quarters, I'm going to need a bill in exchange." He says, "Fine, then, I don't want the change if I have to pay for it. I give you guys so much of my money every day, I'm not giving you guys anything ever again." And he storms out, only to be turned away the next day by my boss, who calls him a crazed animal to his face and that we don't need his business or stink in this store ever again.

They work like the Microsoft and IRS scammers, or if you prefer, Star Wars Stormtroopers. Everything is a target.

Whatever the customer calls me, I'll call 'em right back ;)

Buying bread from a man in Brussels He was six-foot-four and full of muscles I said, "do you speak-a my language?" He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich :D

Jeez dude, just go to a freakin print shop or any other small retail store. Any of those places would love to give you the boxes that would normally take up half of their recycling/garbage space.

I would walk past these doors and get pissy that I couldn't find the restrooms.

Well, yeah. No argument on that decision.

"You don't want to know what I think"

Sigh... that's me, every time I open my mouth.

I would have bust out laughing and died from suffocation. I work at a print shop. If someone were to tell me I was as useless as a blank sheet of paper, I would ask why the hell we pay so much to keep it in stock.

My grandfather would give my brothers and I a $2.00 bill every time we visited. I should have been saving them, but I loved seeing the cashier's reaction when I slid that over the counter.

Does this mean lil' ol' pescatarian me can get someone fired for microwaving leftover meat topped pizza because I think it stinks to high heaven and contaminates the taste of anything put in it afterwards? Hurrah! Seriously, hot pockets are far nastier smelling than the appropriately refrigerated and reheated tuna casserole. I stopped using microwaves after I had a roommate that would eat a box of those a day. Everything I tried to heat in it afterwards stank of overprocessed meat.

TT, The Amazing Johnathan! Love that act!

I tend to full on scream if a kid ends up bumping into me with a soccer style reaction to getting fouled by another player. But that's because I hate unexpected touching and children, a lot.

I wonder how many people asked if they could use that as a feed bag while they watch the movie... Or stating that popcorn sizes have been getting out of hand... Can I get that size and a liter of cola?

A very apt meme, considering that is the skeleton from The Last Unicorn. He would have laughed his ass off at that joke (provided you gave him some wine first).

If actions speak louder than words, the mother was a tornado siren (which the groom apparently heard and took heed)!