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Nowheresville, Vermont
Paroled after serving hard time for telling really bad jokes.
Recent Activity
OK, I'll say it - she had a yen for Chinese that day...
Commented Jul 12, 2018 on THE MACOMB COUNTY DINING SCENE at Dave Barry's Blog
THE MACOMB COUNTY DINING SCENE
Woman bites off part of man's ear at Macomb County Chinese restaurant (Thanks to Michael Parry)
Two days? TWO DAYS???
Commented Sep 8, 2017 on THERE'S PROBABLY A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION at Dave Barry's Blog
THERE'S PROBABLY A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION
Man has a three-inch-wide glass cup removed from his rear after having it stuck there for two days (Thanks to Jeffrey Brown and Le Petomane)
I hope Mrs.Dave doesn't see this...
Commented Sep 8, 2017 on COLD WAR UPDATE at Dave Barry's Blog
COLD WAR UPDATE
The U.S. embassy in Moscow has eliminated the program that sent Ridley Pearson and me to Russia in 2014. Relations between us and the Russians are not good. I blame Ridley. It was a fun trip. Here's a picture of us with the U.S. ambassador to Russia, John Tefft, and his dog Lui, who is giving me...
How will we know if he survives? More important, how will HE know if he survives?
Commented Aug 26, 2017 on THE CALGARY HERALD COVERS HURRICANE HARVEY at Dave Barry's Blog
THE CALGARY HERALD COVERS HURRICANE HARVEY
Calgary man in Houston planning to ride out Hurricane Harvey with a 24-pack of beer (Thanks to Roberto)
NOW you tell me. Coulda used this advice last week.
Commented Aug 10, 2017 on TODAY'S HEALTH TIP at Dave Barry's Blog
TODAY'S HEALTH TIP
Attention, men: Please do not put your penis in a coconut Advisory: Bad words, coconut sex (Thanks to Ralph)
"Is our children learning?"
Commented Aug 7, 2017 on HIGHER ED at Dave Barry's Blog
HIGHER ED
"Wichita State University" misspelled on water tower (Thanks to Stan Ruth and Ralph)
From what I read, he didn't need the tomb after all.
Commented Aug 5, 2017 on NOT CREEPY AT ALL! at Dave Barry's Blog
NOT CREEPY AT ALL!
Jesus turns his head to watch you on this gravestone (Thanks to Alan Dean)
"Portia labiata". I dated her in college.
Commented Aug 2, 2017 on YOU KNOW WHO IS BEHIND THIS at Dave Barry's Blog
YOU KNOW WHO IS BEHIND THIS
Praying Mantises Are Killing Birds And Eating Their Brains Worldwide Really annoying autoplay. (Thanks to Chris Knight) Vaguely Related: Aggressive spiders are quick at making accurate decisions, better at hunting unpredictable preys (Thanks to Chris Knight, who highlights this quote from the ar...
On the plus side, I hear that the world has gained a fabulous new soprano.
Commented May 12, 2017 on GUYS IN ACTION at Dave Barry's Blog
GUYS IN ACTION
Brave man dives onto 1,000 mousetraps so we can see it in slow motion (Thanks to Rick Day)
So as I understand it, he came and went.
Commented Apr 18, 2017 on HAPPY ENDING at Dave Barry's Blog
HAPPY ENDING
Man, 67, dies of 'natural causes' in a Texas strip club while receiving lap dances (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
How else would you start the Easter egg hunt?
Commented Apr 18, 2017 on ALLELU-YIKES at Dave Barry's Blog
ALLELU-YIKES
Gun goes off in Wilson County church before Easter service (Thanks to Bill Hudgins)
Those boys tickled the ivories AND the ovaries.
Commented Apr 18, 2017 on MEANWHILE IN THE ARTS at Dave Barry's Blog
MEANWHILE IN THE ARTS
A funny clip has resurfaced from the Greek version of Britain's Got Talent showing a very rude but entertaining clip of two contestants playing the piano with their private parts. (Thanks to James Flynn)
"Coffee, tea, antivenin at a slight extra charge?"
Commented Apr 14, 2017 on UNITED: AIRLINE, OR CIRCLE OF HELL? at Dave Barry's Blog
UNITED: AIRLINE, OR CIRCLE OF HELL?
Scorpion Falls From Overhead Bin, Stings Passenger on United Flight (Thanks to Rick Day)
On the other hand, it WAS an organic bat.
Commented Apr 11, 2017 on DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT GUARANTEES THE SALAD WAS INSECT-FREE at Dave Barry's Blog
DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT GUARANTEES THE SALAD WAS INSECT-FREE
Salad recalled after bat found in bag (Thanks to Rick Day, Bill Hudgins, Stan Ruth and Jon Harris)
Something about this doesn't sound kosher.
Commented Apr 8, 2017 on MEANWHILE ABROAD at Dave Barry's Blog
MEANWHILE ABROAD
Israel reschedules election because it clashes with Britney Spears concert (Thanks to Ralph)
The dean apparently doesn't have enough to occupy his time. The poor girls need understanding, not discipline (which costs extra).
Commented Apr 8, 2017 on RAH! at Dave Barry's Blog
RAH!
A South Carolina college cheerleading team has been suspended during an investigation into allegations its members worked as strippers and escorts. (Thanks to Kevin Smith)
I hear she was speechless when they gave her the award!
Commented Apr 5, 2017 on USEFUL SKILL at Dave Barry's Blog
USEFUL SKILL
Circus entertainer sets world record stopping fan blades with her tongue (Thanks to Jon Harris)
"Couple say they decided to go ahead with the wedding but had to be medicated". Ya think??
Commented Apr 1, 2017 on OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY AFFAIR at Dave Barry's Blog
OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY AFFAIR
Couple who went ahead with their wedding after a hitman walked in and SHOT three relatives say they were 'trying to make the best of it' but were upset 'so much food was wasted' after guests fled (Thanks to Patty Villanova)
"It is a Jimenez .380-cailber pistol valued at $100." Not any more it isn't!
Commented Apr 1, 2017 on HOW DID *THAT* GET THERE? at Dave Barry's Blog
HOW DID *THAT* GET THERE?
Stolen gun falls from inmate's body cavity during search at north Alabama jail (Thanks to Patty Villanova, Le Petomane, Al Barkafski, Woozy Barnes, Roberto and Another Ralph)
I would like to offer my services to any young lady who... Oh, never mind. It's no big thing.
Commented Mar 14, 2017 on THIS JUST IN at Dave Barry's Blog
THIS JUST IN
Japan’s giant wooden penis parade (Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)
Beam me up, Scottie!!!
Commented Jan 30, 2017 on FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS at Dave Barry's Blog
FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS
There are Giant Clouds of Alcohol Floating in Space (Thanks to Chris Johnson)
*Snork* to ligirl.
Commented Jan 18, 2017 on WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR SPRINGSTEEN at Dave Barry's Blog
WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR SPRINGSTEEN
Jersey monitors threat from toxic sea lettuce fumes (Thanks to Jay Brandes)
Now the kid has a Mopey Dick.
Commented Jan 18, 2017 on MEN: at Dave Barry's Blog
MEN:
Do not click here. (Thanks to Patty Villanova)
If Obamacare had this as a benefit, NOBODY would want to repeal it.
Commented Jan 13, 2017 on MEANWHILE ABROAD at Dave Barry's Blog
MEANWHILE ABROAD
Germany Green Party pledges to pay for free sex with prostitutes for anyone who needs 'sexual assistance' and can't afford it (Thanks to Linda Schutjer)
"...the gaffe was a slip of the tongue ...". Actually, they were just trying to pronounce "Witold Waszczykowski".
Commented Jan 13, 2017 on 'SAN ESCOBAR' at Dave Barry's Blog
'SAN ESCOBAR'
Poland's foreign minister mocked after naming non-existent country as supporter in bid for UN Security Council seat (Thanks to Ross Couples)
More...
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