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Jonathan O’Neill
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The struggle in Gibraltar Hall comes to an end in Alvin Tyrannus' final installment. Written by Jonathan O'Neill <<Alvin Tyrannus (Part 10) <<Start Alvin Tyrannus from the beginning ALVIN TYRANNUS A Tragedy by Jonathan O'Neill DANIEL Good fortune, friends! O, the gods have been kind this night— I knew we were kindred spirits. This ruler is no longer alone: He has a queen now, and Gibraltar 304 Is ours! [Enter SHEPHERD.] SHEPHERD You're Sally's boyfriend? DANIEL Her king, and together we rule the room. SHEPHERD O, poor soul. I have more horrible news. DANIEL No! SHEPHERD As I left the... Continue reading
Posted Aug 21, 2015 at Crazytown
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The bloodshed continues in Alvin's quest for power. Written by Jonathan O'Neill <<Alvin Tyrannus (Part 9) <<Start Alvin Tyrannus from the beginning ALVIN TYRANNUS A Tragedy by Jonathan O'Neill DANIEL My sole ally has fallen. I am truly alone! Alvin has killed the friend in my corner, And I continue on without her. Let the campus papers proclaim this Daniel's last stand! For her sake now, I fight for her sake now! But consider, Daniel— Alvin has developed a palette for blood. His despair will no doubt drive him Past the bounds of normal man. What, will he come for... Continue reading
Posted Aug 14, 2015 at Crazytown
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Alvin commences the bloodshed with a terrible mistake. Written by Jonathan O'Neill <<Alvin Tyrannus (Part 8) <<Start Alvin Tyrannus from the beginning ALVIN TYRANNUS A Tragedy by Jonathan O'Neill [Enter ALVIN.] ALVIN Bering's blessings: Action repairs my sanity So that the mind's fractures Once floating Like islands in the ether Become continental. So does catastrophe pave the way For construction anew, My present past harbors horror For the future's good-- DANIEL Alvin-- ALVIN Sally? SALLY Yes, Alvin. Daniel-- ALVIN You're still alive. SALLY Yes, Alvin. Daniel-- ALVIN You stand here before me, unharmed. SALLY Yes, Alvin. Daniel-- ALVIN It cannot... Continue reading
Posted Aug 7, 2015 at Crazytown
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Sally returns with a vengeance. Written by Jonathan O'Neill <<Alvin Tyrannus (Part 7) <<Start Alvin Tyrannus from the beginning ALVIN TYRANNUS A Tragedy by Jonathan O'Neill [Enter SALLY.] SALLY Is Alvin here? DANIEL He's gone for good. SALLY I came to get my cloth. It's my favorite, and tomorrow The metal chariot takes me back home Like Apollo, when he makes the westward flight Giving life to Demeter's state Except I'm just going to Lake Tahoe. DANIEL It's here. Everything within this room is mine, As it should be. He is gone now and forever. I render Alvin's cloth Back... Continue reading
Posted Jul 31, 2015 at Crazytown
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The struggle between roommates comes to a head when the R.A. gets involved. Written by Jonathan O'Neill <<Alvin Tyrannus (Part 6) <<Start Alvin Tyrannus from the beginning ALVIN TYRANNUS A Tragedy by Jonathan O'Neill DANIEL You’ll notice here, my lady, that The resident is required to move out 24 hours post his last final And, considering what sticklers we are For the rules here, I believe they Should be followed. LISA Daniel’s point is well taken (and, being legally formed, Easier to enforce). Alvin, the room is no longer yours. You have no logical stake here, Having ended your academic... Continue reading
Posted Jul 24, 2015 at Crazytown
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Alvin sees his downfall in the arrival of a powerful visitor. Written by Jonathan O'Neill <<Alvin Tyrannus (Part 5) <<Start Alvin Tyrannus from the beginning ALVIN TYRANNUS A Tragedy by Jonathan O'Neill [Enter R.A. LISA, who doubles with SALLY.] LISA Alvin? I’m R.A. Lisa. With all the duty and honor due to my rank, I depart my embassy to the field— The domestic battlefield— Walking the line of Peer and diplomat. A hollow metamorphosis: Student and authority Compounding, contradicting, Connoting and confusing Arbiter and arbitrary, Residential Life elevates humanity To a place of illusory advantage, On-the-clock above the students, Always... Continue reading
Posted Jul 17, 2015 at Crazytown
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Alvin has a special moment. Written by Jonathan O'Neill <<Alvin Tyrannus (Part 4) <<Start Alvin Tyrannus from the beginning ALVIN TYRANNUS A Tragedy by Jonathan O'Neill CHORUS O, Eteocles! Polyneices! Brothers cursed by Oedipus To die in battle for his throne! You, spiteful brothers, you Could not fight fate with Diplomacy. Even compromise gave way to ego, O, Eteocles! Your faults were not your fault. Pray for these two, O sons of Oedipus, Their fates are unblemished by curse. They may still escape death. They are not yet condemned By pride and foolish boasting. They, like you, are men of... Continue reading
Posted Jul 10, 2015 at Crazytown
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Alvin and Daniel struggle for power of the room. Written by Jonathan O'Neill <<Alvin Tyrannus (Part 3) <<Start Alvin Tyrannus from the beginning ALVIN TYRANNUS A Tragedy by Jonathan O'Neill CHORUS I tremble to consider Daniel’s response. The only power stronger than a freshman’s love is time. No human strength can rend them Once they’ve found a regular lay. Freshmen! Freshmen! While some gain 15 pounds, Others gain hundreds— Hundreds, attached at their hips, Weight of the cohabitative diet! The irony of freshman sex: When newfound freedom leads to A ball-and-chain, Soft as Styrofoam, heavy as lead. [Enter DANIEL.] DANIEL... Continue reading
Posted Jul 3, 2015 at Crazytown
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Caught red-handed, Sally begs her enemy for forgiveness. Written by Jonathan O'Neill <<Alvin Tyrannus (Part 2) <<Start Alvin Tyrannus from the beginning ALVIN TYRANNUS A Tragedy by Jonathan O'Neill SALLY The human race is elevated To a place of great superiority By rationality. Intellect contains us To a position At the summit of nature, Within and above the Earth, Below and beloved by the gods. It bestows upon us Mankind's greatest power, Compassion, Our unique mixture of Rational thought and Chemical love, so It is that force to which I should base my appeal, For if Alvin is truly a... Continue reading
Posted Jun 26, 2015 at Crazytown
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Just about every great Greek playwright wrote a recognition scene: in this take, Alvin returns to his dorm room and discovers his roommate's hidden girlfriend. Written by Jonathan O'Neill <<Alvin Tyrannus (Part 1) ALVIN TYRANNUS A Tragedy by Jonathan O'Neill [Enter a CHORUS OF STUDENTS.] CHORUS My last exam approaches with the morning, Yet I am drawn from my studies by The livid weeping of my comrade and friend. His screams would do well to Inspire fear and sadness within Any shred of human empathy. Yet this is not the first time I’ve heard Alvin scream. The man and his... Continue reading
Posted Jun 19, 2015 at Crazytown
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In the first part of this modern tragedy, Daniel invites his girlfriend into his room, unaware that his domineering roommate is dangerously close by. Written by Jonathan O'Neill ALVIN TYRANNUS A Tragedy by Jonathan O'Neill TIME AND PLACE: Gibraltar Hall room 304, a freshman dorm, on a rainy day at the end of the school year. [DANIEL and SALLY enter.] DANIEL He’s gone for good! Come in, we’re all alone. Come in, Sally, there’s no one here to see you. SALLY Rotten guilt! One full year we’ve snuck around this room, His room— DANIEL Our room! And whatever stake is... Continue reading
Posted Jun 12, 2015 at Crazytown
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May 31, 2015