I am hungry. I force myself to be hungry. Or I delay eating to accomplish tasks. I try to plan to eat healthy things. I usually eat convenient things. It is pleasurable to cook and to relish in the satisfaction of fulfilling my desires for myself. Often I try new... Continue reading

I am not the only toddler who has ever run through a glass door. The only memory I have of it is that my mother tore sheets into strips and wrapped them tightly around my arms and legs and head. I imagine myself as a midget mummy when I think... Continue reading

I have to fall so I won’t fail. We are in the middle of the woods at a space used mostly for summer campers and, apparently, for grown ups who have just met but soon will be working intensely and nonstop together. I have a six-month contract to be a... Continue reading

I keep going back to acupuncture because my acupuncturist tells me I will not turn into my mother. She never met my mother, who died nine years ago. I ask her how she knows, the first time it comes up, when I am explaining my worry about developing a hunchback.... Continue reading

What joy: to wake up and have my period. I hated getting my period when I was younger. I think it had something to do with the fact that its onset was at age 10. I was years ahead of my classmates who got it at 12 or 13. I... Continue reading

“Neurotics are people who refuse to suffer.” Carl Jung I modeled. Not clothes or nail polish. Modeled in the way we all do even though mostly we talk about it in terms of childhood development. Adolescents model and adults model too—that is how we get corporate culture. My only memories... Continue reading