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Plum B. Wonderful
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I'm still here. And I still haven't had a drink this year. TBH, I'm doing a lot of writing about this privately, and by the time I get to the blogging part I'm tired and/or out of time. Here's a fact: I feel SO much better when I'm not drinking.... Continue reading
Posted Jan 21, 2019 at The Sauce
I failed to write here yesterday, though I wrote plenty of other places. All of this writing about not drinking gets a bit tedious because--well--still not drinking. I can go on about how I feel slightly better than I did yesterday, but it's not much of a news flash. A... Continue reading
Posted Jan 7, 2019 at The Sauce
First weekend of this experiment. I'm still feeling "out of it" and fatigued and I imagine I will continue to feel that way for awhile, at least from time to time. That's OK. It's better than my hangovers by a mile. I'm realizing that over the years when I'd do... Continue reading
Posted Jan 5, 2019 at The Sauce
I'm still deep in the brain fog--like all of my thoughts are too far apart, and all I want to do is sleep, but I have too much energy to fall asleep. I was probably awake until about 1 a.m. after lights out at 11, and sweated my way through... Continue reading
Posted Jan 4, 2019 at The Sauce
Today the fatigue comes. Somewhere close to sixty (?) hours without a drink now (math is escaping me), and I've been in the fatigue fog for hours now. This when my body gets through the initial detox and starts to try to recalibrate... and my brain stops working. It's like... Continue reading
Posted Jan 3, 2019 at The Sauce
Over 30 hours since my last drink. And I feel fine. Sleep last night wasn't great, but better than anticipated, if a bit sweaty. I took my GABA in the morning and another in the afternoon at work, and I had no problem with anxiety. One of the best things... Continue reading
Posted Jan 3, 2019 at The Sauce
I'm finally beginning... It seems almost cliched to be starting sobriety on January 1, but as it's a time of year many others take a break from drinking it may make it a bit less awkward to casually say, "I'm not drinking." I had intended a steep taper after Christmas,... Continue reading
Posted Jan 1, 2019 at The Sauce
2019 Reset At midnight on New Year's eve I will toast the New Year with champagne and then I will not drink again until April 11. One hundred sober days. I find that long term sobriety requires a bit of training in advance, much as long term heavy drinking takes... Continue reading
Posted Dec 7, 2018 at The Sauce
Happy. This is me, usually. I have always been the happy drunk. Gregarious, funny and cheerful. Seldom a moment of maudlin introspection or misplaced anger. Not a care in the world. Sleepy. It's hard to develop a serious drinking problem if you fall into this category, because after four beers... Continue reading
Posted Sep 22, 2018 at The Sauce
Who do I think I am? Don't "Should" Me By rights, I should quit drinking. I should decide on a date for a final drink, I should have a final drink, and I should adjust to the new reality of being a person who is not a drinker. It sounds... Continue reading
Posted Sep 20, 2018 at The Sauce
Staying Distracted I read. I watch TV shows. I play video games. I snack. I make lasagna. I don't drink. I have a cider in the fridge leftover from my last taper, sitting there as a sort of test. Of course I want to drink it. Even on day five,... Continue reading
Posted Sep 16, 2018 at The Sauce
Indefinitely doesn't mean forever... It's indefinite. Ten days, for now. That's how many days I will not drink, as of today. Long enough to recover from last weekend, but not long enough to recover, really. Not long enough to reclaim my brain and body. Not long enough to be free.... Continue reading
Posted Sep 12, 2018 at The Sauce
Drank too much, and then... The weekend My brain feels dry and chalky. Too much gin last night. Was I counting? Not really. Maybe 8 or so? Slept like a... coma. Which I suppose is good for me. I've decided to stop for ten days starting Monday. Three or four... Continue reading
Posted Sep 8, 2018 at The Sauce
I will drink tomorrow Sticking to the plan There's part of me that knows this isn't long enough to even make a dent in the detox. Three days. I'm feeling sluggish and nervy at the same time. It's at least ten days for me, typically, before the fog starts to... Continue reading
Posted Sep 6, 2018 at The Sauce
It's already getting old... Today, I would rather drink. But I won't. The day started with a stressful work situation that I had to jump on when I got to work. A phone call! I hate phones. Demanding a vendor fix something RIGHT NOW! I hate being demanding. Meanwhile, I'm... Continue reading
Posted Sep 5, 2018 at The Sauce
A fresh start every week Coping without booze on a Tuesday Having only had 5.5 ciders yesterday, I felt pretty bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at work today. None of the beginning of the week awfulness I've grown used to. Now, I have an evening to get through without booze, and so... Continue reading
Posted Sep 4, 2018 at The Sauce
My journey toward mindful drinking Moderation vs. Mindfulness I've been looking into "mindful drinking" as presented by Club Soda. It seems like a quite sane approach to changing your relationship with alcohol without an "all or nothing" mentality. You choose your own goal: cut down, stop for a bit, maintain... Continue reading
Posted Sep 3, 2018 at The Sauce
I don't expect anyone to read this So why bother? I've been reading a lot of addiction memoirs lately. A lot of sobriety memoirs, really. "How I got sober." Usually there's at least a third of the book cataloguing the multitude of errors and scary events and bad nights that... Continue reading
Posted Sep 3, 2018 at The Sauce
My last dance with booze, a longtime friend This is not a blog about sobriety. But it may become one. I am a 47-year-old married woman with no kids who has a long-acknowledged drinking problem. It's probably been about fifteen years that it has taken me to progress from an... Continue reading
Posted Sep 2, 2018 at The Sauce
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Sep 2, 2018