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Great job jack! I totally feel the part about not being yourself in the mornings but it seems like right when I get outside, I’m normal again. Writing this comment with COVID and not being aloud to do anything ,makes me real jealous of your bike ride down a mountain in Hawaii.
Toggle Commented Apr 13, 2022 on Narrative story 1# at 2022 Jack Pesce
Wow Justin. The story as a whole seems a little dramatic but it was still really good. I loved the internal dialogue part that really made the story. The part about the water feeling like jello was a great analogy to. Great job
Toggle Commented Apr 13, 2022 on Narrative Story at 2022 Justin Graf
Great essay Aiden. I stayed engaged and enjoyed reading your work even though I do not agree with you. It is nice to see the other side of an argument fully thought out. GReat job!
Toggle Commented Feb 23, 2022 on Topical Essay at 2022 Aiden LaCamera
Your intro was very good Thomas. It drew me right in and gave an immediate example of what will happen if we follow through with this stupid idea. I wrote the same essay and I completely agree with what you said, you brought up some points I didn’t and did a great job with them too. Your use of quotes was great and backed up your text. Especially the first one.
This essay was super fun to read. It was definitely the most interesting because it was different. Everything that everyone else has done has been on earth, this was out of the world. Your use of examples and quotes is good and helped support your main thought. We should travel to outside planets although it may take a while.
Toggle Commented Feb 23, 2022 on Topical Essay at 2022 Jack Pesce
Great job Pete. Your essay was clear and well thought out. Your intro got me hooked in and wanting to read more. Although Ski wages are not my main concern, I found this essay fun to read. Great use of specific examples.
Toggle Commented Feb 23, 2022 on Opportunity at 2022 Pete Remington
Amir, This is a great and informative essay. It’s hard to say that I have any opinion on this as I barely know what taxes are. But the flat tax rate seems like the most equal way to pay taxes although unfair for the lower clases. Your use of quotes was very strong and helped convey your opinion.
Toggle Commented Feb 23, 2022 on Benefits at 2022 Amir Shalabi
Do, this is a very powerful essay. I agree with you that private schools should have more diversity. That way we can be put in positions to talk to people from different backgrounds and be able to connect with them on a higher level. Public schools should also have more funding to have more of the same opportunities that we do at Fenn. Great job!
Toggle Commented Feb 23, 2022 on Fairness at 2022 DJ Winston-Johnson
Your essay was very intersting for me. Before reading I knew nothing about drug problems and didn’t relize it was such a big deal. But now I Agree with you. Drugs should be legal andd the people that get addicted thats your problem. But this would help violence go down by a lot which is what we want. Great job Murdy!
Toggle Commented Feb 23, 2022 on Murdough Topical Essay at 2022 Alex Murdough
Wow Justin. This was a very good essay the debunks every point that goes against this agument. I like how you included how hitting a baseball is the hardest, boxing is the toughest, and golf is the most mentaly hard thing to do but the combination of everything in hockey makes it the hardest. Although i migtht be a little biast I agree that it is the hardest sport.
Toggle Commented Feb 23, 2022 on Unique at 2022 Justin Graf
Great job luke. I completly agree that coligate athletes should be paid. The point about Zion Williamson bringing so much money yet not getting paid for any of it just seems stupid in my mind. Although the athletes can make money off endorsments now which is a step in the right path. Your essay opened my eyes to a problem I barley ever thought of.
Toggle Commented Feb 23, 2022 on Equity at 2022 Luke Waldeck
Justin, your poem and preforance really made me think deeper than any other poem. The choice was one of a kind and its fun to hear something new. I love the beggining of your reflection and how honest you were about why you chose it.
Toggle Commented Jan 31, 2022 on People are not Poetry at 2022 Justin Graf
I LOVED your poem. The paice it self was accepional and you spoke confidently and owned the poem. Your post preformance reflection was interesting to see how you self reflected. Amazing job.
Toggle Commented Jan 31, 2022 on WW Fenn at 2022 Thomas Livens
Your presentation last week was the best in the class. You did a great job of memorizing the poem and spoke confidently. Your analysis is deep and thorough. Well done.
Toggle Commented Jan 31, 2022 on WWFenn at 2022 Parker Daniel
You did a great job with your poem today. The Analysis is well thought out and dives deep into the theme. The reflection takes me with you as you exlain your journey of learning the poem. Great job!
Toggle Commented Jan 31, 2022 on Excerpt from Walden at 2022 Alex Murdough
The first paragraph was good and i loved thre connection to the bagel store. The sentance afer that could’ve been a bit stronger. I found few edits that I would make and your last paragrph is kinda long. I would split it up into 2 paragraphs. Great Job Peb
This was a very well writen essay and the intro was very strong. You forgot to italicize the name of the book so I would go back and fix that. Very strong word choice and sentance stucture. Great Job
I love your first sentance, I knew that the essay was about Part-Time Indian but when you mentioned a different book i got confused and intrigued. You last sentance is also very good and left me on the edge of my seat. Good Job!
This was a strong and impressive essay. There were few edits that I could see like italics, citing quotes, and commas. Good job
Toggle Commented Nov 8, 2021 on Part - Time Indian Essay at 2022 Aiden LaCamera
This was a well writen essay. You should try to make a sentance or two before your first to real in the reader. You also need to make sure you site the chapter after quotes. Beside a couple small edits this is a strong essay
Your first paragraph is very strong except for the last sentance. you should probably do a bit of proofreading. but great job beside that.
Very good writing luke, you are a very good writer and use very strong language. Once you introduce the book yopu don’t need to keep on saying the title, especially because it is so long. Your last sentance is a bit long but still strong. Great job.
There are some very powerful vocabulary in this essay like when you said elaited when talking about climbing the rock wall. There are also many compelling messages inside the essay.
Toggle Commented Oct 13, 2021 on The Camp Caribou Experience at 2022 Pete Remington
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Oct 13, 2021