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Southern California
Mother and reunited adult adoptee working for sweeping change in the adoption industry
Interests: adoption reform,Chihuahuas,adoption search,the ocean,Texas,smart car,redheads,adult adoptees,attachment disorder,fetal microchimerism,chronic fatigue syndrome,fibromyalgia,substance P disorders
Recent Activity
... who I could have been? Continue reading
Posted Dec 30, 2012 at Always Renee
We will always be related to our original family no matter what a an amended birth certificate leads anyone to believe. Continue reading
Posted Dec 23, 2012 at Always Renee
Mary Ann Hernandez Mullen is searching for her natural mother. Continue reading
Posted Dec 21, 2012 at Always Renee
"Using language that is biased toward adopters promotes the separation of a child from her own mother and family to provide a baby for a stranger. When a mother loses her child to adoption not only is the mother is affected but also the father, grandparents, existing and future siblings... Continue reading
Posted Dec 21, 2012 at Always Renee
Marshall D. Schechter, "Observations on Adopted Children," 1960 Continue reading
Posted Dec 18, 2012 at Always Renee
Infertility: Adopting Versus Embracing Childfree Continue reading
Posted Nov 29, 2012 at Always Renee
Enough. Adopters, here is the truth. Adopting won't cure your infertility. I can't stop anyone from buying babies, unfortunately, but I can promise everyone who does that it won't fill that bottomless empty hole in them. Raising someone else's child may be mothering, but it doesn't make you a mother.... Continue reading
Posted Nov 27, 2012 at Always Renee
I love this post: Adoption Apples to Apples. Continue reading
Posted Nov 26, 2012 at Always Renee
My adoptive father finally died this past February. Last Wednesday, I learned that the old man's life insurance policy--which, according to his will, was to be shared among his heirs (two adopted children, one natural born child)--had actually been made out to pay only his natural born son. He went... Continue reading
Posted Nov 25, 2012 at Always Renee
Last year, after searching unsuccessfully for information about my first mother for 32 years, I finally petitioned the Texas court that finalized my adoption, asking them to unseal my records. My petition was successful. From the information in my files, I learned quite a bit of information about my first... Continue reading
Posted Nov 10, 2012 at Always Renee
If you're considering placing your baby for adoption, please read this booklet: click here to download Continue reading
Posted Nov 5, 2012 at Always Renee
Some days, it's very, very hard to be so far away from everyone I love. Continue reading
Posted Oct 26, 2012 at Always Renee
My adoptive mother never openly bashed my natural mom. But she was very clear how she felt about "those" women. You know, women who didn't conform to her tightly defined "good girl" protocol. According to my adoptive mother's rules, there were many, many, many things "good girls" most assuredly did... Continue reading
Posted Oct 19, 2012 at Always Renee
How to contact: or
Toggle Commented Oct 14, 2012 on On PostSecret today at Always Renee
"If you are male, born July 9, 1958 in Albany, NY & adopted, we might be your FULL siblings!" Continue reading
Posted Oct 14, 2012 at Always Renee
As an adoptee, I can't count the number of times someone has told me I was a gift to my adoptive family. "Your 'birthmother' realized she couldn't keep you, so she made your parents' dreams come true. She gave them such a precious gift!" I was not a gift. I... Continue reading
Posted Oct 11, 2012 at Always Renee
"What [adult adoptees] want is very basic and simple. We want self-determination and autonomy. We want a respectful and inclusive definition of family where our inclusively defined family is seen as a strength rather than a weakness. We want transparency and truth. We want to know that the policies we... Continue reading
Posted Oct 11, 2012 at Always Renee
In therapy last week, we were talking about my adoptive mother's mother and maternal grandfather, who lived with them all through her childhood. My a-mother was crazy about him, just as I was about my grandma. When she spoke of him, she always called him Grandpa, though, and this morning,... Continue reading
Posted Oct 9, 2012 at Always Renee
Sometimes, I wish I had had a decent family, too. But then, who would I have been? Would I have had my son? I'd do it all again to have him. So I try not to "what if" too much--I'm grateful to be who and where I am now, but sometimes I can't help it. And you're right; my mom is a loving spirit. I'm so glad I finally found her.
Toggle Commented Oct 9, 2012 on Playing the role of "daughter" at Always Renee
Yeah. They really were. :-(
Toggle Commented Oct 9, 2012 on Lies and secrets, secrets and lies at Always Renee
Compare and contrast. Continue reading
Posted Oct 8, 2012 at Always Renee
I think my adoptive parents knew about my real mom. I think they knew all about her. Who she was, where she was from. I think they knew her name. They knew, and they went to their graves without telling me. I think they consciously, willfully lied to me all... Continue reading
Posted Oct 5, 2012 at Always Renee
I belong to a Facebook group for adult adoptees. The past couple of days, everyone's been posting toddler pics. It didn't take long for someone to notice that in none of the photos are the mothers touching their adopted children. There are dozens of photos at this point--and not one... Continue reading
Posted Oct 4, 2012 at Always Renee
By Special Request: 10 Red Flags that Your Adoption Agency Might be Coercive Continue reading
Posted Oct 4, 2012 at Always Renee
How often do you wash your bra? I wear a bra once and wash it. I can't stand to put on dirty clothes after my shower. Apparently, I'm a freak. Big surprise. Ha. Continue reading
Posted Oct 3, 2012 at Always Renee