That's a great story - and you're lucky to have such a wise and understanding friend. Kids try things out, make bad choices sometimes, and learn from their mistakes. Sometimes we adults forget that kids are KIDS -- they're not inherently noble or unselfish, they're little learning machines, trying to get their needs met and understand how the world works.

"I look back on my childhood and never was there a time that I felt unloved or neglected." You are truly blessed to have that feeling in your childhood. I was raised by parents who were overwhelmed, self-absorbed, and not getting along (and trying to hide it). I DO NOT want to recreate the overall feeling of "not enough love to go around" that pervaded my childhood home. Everyday I remind myself to slow down, look my children in the eye, and make sure they feel like the most important people in the world - to me.

I'm with CityMama -- wholeheartedly. Both my husband and I are overeducated Ph.Ds with an ongoing passion for kid's education -- and a background in child development - and we look on in astonishment at parents who get sucked into the competitive preschool mindset. It's NUTS. I think the more you know about how children learn, the sillier it seems to push formal academics in preschool.

I live in Half Moon Bay, and do a lot of work in Silicon Valley. I design games and social software for a living -- I'm a longtime nerd, as well as a devoted Mom of 2. I blog about my work and family (all mixed together) at http://socialarchitect.typepad.com -- and I blog about my new baby daughter (and other family issues) at http://amyjokim.vox.com

I would like to play! amyjo@shufflebrain.com