The day of my funeral they were all there. Every man I had truly loved, every man I had allowed into my heart at some point during my half century of life. The ones who had ended up changing me in some small but significant way. I know it sounds like one thousand guys showed up to shed tears over me, but the former sentences are deceiving. In my case, there were only six. The one I loved first, who taught me that young love is the most heartfelt, and the most fleeting. The second one, who taught me that... Continue reading

You look at me I see it there The smile behind your eyes You turn away Like you don't care Caught off guard by this surprise Can you feel my heart So Tender strong Pulsing in your mind? Can you feel it pull your soul along? For a second before it jumps through time? Run away, We run fast away Because now is not our time I'm saving you for Someday When I leave the old life far behind Hide away, hide our hearts We know that's what we do You're saving me for Someday When your love can break... Continue reading

If you are reading this then you probably hold some interest in achieving and becoming a "Zen" person. But what does it mean to "become truly Zen"? I have learned it is an ongoing process that changes with the tide. Speaking for myself and no one else, I have come to realize that if I TRULY want to become Zen, I have to accept that I will not FEEL Zen everyday. What does this mean? Well, what it means is that something I blew off as a minor setback on Monday, and laughed about, may suddenly seem like a disaster... Continue reading

OK. I don't have some magic formula to take away wrinkles and turn back the clock so we all look twenty again - sorry. However, something I used to hear on cereal commercials (and the occasional ad for Metamucil) is now starting to make sense to me, and I now realize that even as I laughed at it, I have always lived by it. And that is, You are as young as you feel. Really? Yes. Really. Case in point. At least up until now, I have many times been mistaken for younger than my real age - which is... Continue reading

I bet you'd sell your soul tonight Leave your shackles far behind But you don't have the courage To break the prison of your mind You tried so hard to run away As you tried to cage me in But to live in truth, I broke those locks So i guess you didn't win Now you say you did it ALL for us? That I abandoned YOU? The one who stole my trust and ran Just who abandoned who? You say you truley loved me? And you just want to be heard? But in the end your lies confirmed what... Continue reading

Part three has been a long time in coming. And, I apologize. I have been through some changes. Moreover, I didn't realize it at the time, but I was actually writing the previous posts - Parts 1, 2, and now 3 - about myself and my situation - as well as for anyone else who recognized themselves in what i had to say. It seems that first hand, I have experienced a situation in which I am faced with these very demons from someone I loved. It doesn't matter WHO that someone might be. Some of you who read my... Continue reading

So, what DO you do when someone you’ve helped and trusted turns out to be a snake that obviously has NO regard or respect for your efforts, your feelings, or compassion for you? Well, the first thing most want to do is get mad at the injustice and strike back (understandably, of course). But really – where does this get you? No where with them – usually – or maybe an insincere apology at best, but mostly you just get more upset the more you think about it at a lack of their understanding. And, you can try in vain... Continue reading

NOTE: This was WAY too long so I had to cut in down into 2 parts. For those of you who haven’t fallen asleep by this longwinded fable, Part 2 will be posted tomorrow. Every time someone I’ve elected to trust ends up showing me their true colors, the first thing I think of is the punch line from that quaint little fable of wisdom I first heard during a scene in the movie Natural Born Killers. Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis are on that reservation getting high on peyote with an old Indian wise man, who tells them this... Continue reading

Harsh reality - it's the winter frost in the place where the sun used to warm your skin It's the slow death of a heart that grows colder Day after dark day Even as the sting of the wounds numbing over still make you wince Harsh reality - is a yesterday that is so far removed from the present That you think it ancient history Until the day you awake to find it only happened in a dream Harsh reality - is holding onto something Clinging foolishly to thin air And almost, but not quite catching the glimpse of the... Continue reading

This is something I wrote five or so years ago. Before I had heard of Toltec Wisdom. It's an example of how a person sees something through his or her own eyes...enjoy! My Creation When I look at you Your form takes on what I think I see What I need you to be I might take nobility - and see it there In you, where there is none In your cold cruel laugh I cast in it, the glowing warmth of sun When you speak I don't sense emptiness Its "nothing" covered up in smiles In your dead flat... Continue reading

When you are in a relationship with someone it's easy for you to see the "holes" in make up of that other person - and, it's oh, so human, to want to try and fill it for them. For instance, if the person you're with has a deep depression that has caused an anger problem - and you know a bit of his background and the things that may have caused it - you can probably see the steps he should take that would enable him to deal with his demons, and eventually end his daily suffering of rage and... Continue reading

In a previous post, I talked about why I was of the opinion that certain artists, writers, singers and poets had such a following because their "art work" - in whatever venue it happens to be - "speaks" to a majority of people in ways that they, by themselves, can't express. I want to give you an example, by posting a song by Avril Lavigne. It's called Broken Inside. I LOVE this song - not because of her beautiful voice, or the tune - which are both "tops" in my book, but because for the longest time, while growing up,... Continue reading

You guys should read The Snee, she's the BOMB! (I don't think she recognizes me without the "gerbil" stigma though) Continue reading

Technology is awesome....forget ever going out in public again! I'll just sit here on my rump and drown in it... Continue reading

Although I feel this SHOULD be an exception to the "judge not, lest ye be judged" rule, I know deep down inside that for someone to truly be "non judgemental" they need to include EVERYONE on this list. However, there is one sector of the population with whom I really have trouble in applying this principal. Any guesses? (drum roll....) OK. I am judgmental against judgmental people. I admit it. It really confounds me how people can be OK with being so narrow minded, and part of me REFUSES to believe that I ever lived another lifetime in which I,... Continue reading

You know what I mean when I say "it was one of those days when everything you touch turns to crap", right? One of those days when you realize that shit - does indeed - roll down hill - and there you are, the proverbial toilet with your lid up...? Well, I had one of "those days" today. I was going to tell you about it, and I will - another time. Because I have an even better, older "one of those days" stories that can get my point across in a better way. Here goes. It was one day... Continue reading

I reached out and took your hand Tried to follow you, my friend I didn't know where we were going But I thought you’d understand Back then, my heart shone bright in me I didn’t think to hide its light But it turned into a dying ember In a cold and lonely night Still I held on to what wasn't there And didn't feel my fall I only knew that you weren't there to save me, after all So here's to the death of my illusions To the sun setting on this world of clay I welcome the end to... Continue reading

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It's funny. When things are going well, life seems to fly on by. You don't know where the days go, and each one kind of blends into the next, right? It's almost as if you start taking your good luck for granted. But then ...Little things start happening that get under your skin. Your paycheck is shorter than it was last time. Or, You find out your cable bill is double what you thought it was going to be. Or, your Mustang loses its transmission when you put it into reverse, and gets stuck in the driveway you share with... Continue reading

Deep down, all we really want is to be loved and understood by someone else. That’s all we want. Not such a tall order, right? After all, God IS LOVE – so it would stand to reason that because we’re the offspring of his spirit, this would be the purpose of our lives. Why? Because most of us have such great love in our hearts, and we want to give and get it back again. But it’s not so easy to find real love, is it? Or maybe, what I should say, is that it’s not always that simple to... Continue reading

Sometimes when one "sees the Light", he discovers he still prefers the dark... Continue reading

Looking to write an ebook Continue reading