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Andrea Waterstreet
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It really blows that women are taught that above all, we should be polite and pleasing to others. I've seen this sort of thing happen on MUNI many times where a threatening dude sits down next to a girl or woman, and the woman stays seated because they are afraid to possibly offend the a-hole sitting next to them. Ladies: just get up and move away from the creeps and don't give a shite for their feelings. Brittney, 4 years ago, I was rather violently sexually and physically assaulted whilst walking home from work at midnight on 15th and Shotwell, a dark, empty street in a dicey neighborhood. A drunk and very smelly street person knocked me down (and I'm 6 feet tall!), slashed my collarbone with a knife, and sat on me while he tried to jerk off. I was dazed for about a minute while this was happening, then became almost psychotically enraged, and pure adrenalin allowed me to push this guy off of me and run away. I called the police when I got home, and after about 3 weeks, they caught the piece of human garbage who was wanted for 5 other assaults. He's doing some serious time now. (Kudos to the awesome Mission Precinct officers who kept in touch with me almost every day, even coming to my work to show me "six packs" of suspects.) One thing that surprised me about the whole thing was that I was repeatedly told again and again that this incident would likely give me PTSD, and would forever be the worst thing that happened to me; a scar upon my feminine soul forever. I went to the counseling provided by the city, and I just didn't feel the terror of the situation that everyone said I was supposed to feel. I was told that "it would hit me later", but it never really did. I was pissed off for a month or so, and then it went away. I know that this is not true for everyone, but I was a little taken aback by the alarmist nature of the counseling--that I was a sad victimized female and it would haunt my womanhood forever. I wish you speedy healing--from someone who's been there.
Hi--LOVE LOVE LOVE your site!! I'm 1/4 Kenyan, 3/4 Swedish--born in Sweden and lived almost my entire life in San Francisco. I have really light skin with tiny freckles, very "European" features and a massive head of very thick very kinky hair that straightens *super* easily. I was raised in a white family, and was always aware of my mixed black/white heritage, but it was never the topmost of my identity. Hair is another thing though. My white mum didn't really know what to do with my huge head of thick kinky hair, so I had a short natural fro for most of my childhood. I started modeling when I was 15, and all of a sudden learned everything there was to know about How To Do My Hair (probably the best thing I was able to take away from modeling--it wasn't for me!) I grew up liking rock and roll, new wave, mod and punk music, not hip hop or R&B, so my style idols were chicks like Chrissie Hynde, Charlotte Gainsborough, Marianne Faithfull, Patti Smith and (dude) Keith Richards: I wanted their hair which was a layered, choppy rooster cut with thick bangs. I've had variations on that cut since my teens, and at age 44, I still love it. I also can pull my bangs back, or wear it in any number of updos--I like the versatility that comes with straightened hair. I *do* wear my hair natural about once every two weeks or so, but I find that my natural curls/kink is unpredictable and actually takes MORE time to maintain. When it's straight, I wash my hair every 10 days or so, using only conditioner, no shampoo. I use pure argan oil and jojoba oil (cheap at Trader Joes!) as an addition to my conditioner, and I comb those oils through my towel-dried hair--using natural oils is my secret weapon. I blow dry it straight with a round brush, then use a ceramic iron with a dab of silicon frizz solution, and my hair is perfectly straight, really shiny, and very soft with no breakage. And it stays that way for the entire 10 days of my wash cycle with very minimal daily upkeep--maybe 3 minutes with the ceramic iron each morning. My hair is also almost freakishly thick, and my other secret is radically thinning it out to achieve the layered cut I like, and to allow it to lie down nicely. I've seen a lot of mixed girls with similarly thick kinky hair that get roped into all-one-length cuts that result in the unfortunate "Triangle Head" shape with too much unruly hair--thinning by "channel-cutting" is a must. One last secret--have your stylist cut your hair dry--it's nearly impossible to cut thick, curly hair wet with any precision. When I do wear it natural, the thinned hair and the argan/jojoba oil gives my curly kink actual shape and movement as opposed to a big thicket of bush. But when it's natural, I have to get it wet every morning and go through the whole diffuser-dry process which takes forever; straight hair is so much easier. I got over the "political" ramifications of my straightened hair a long time ago. I like the modish 60s/punky 80s style of fashion, music and hair. And, I'm MIXED, which means that I actually am part, well, 3/4 white, so it's really hard for me to feel like I'm "denying" my heritage by wearing my easily straightened hair straight. Keep up the awesome blog!!
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Andrea Waterstreet is now following The Typepad Team
Apr 29, 2012