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Auroranibley
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The writing is good, but I feel like it's too big an idea for such a short story. If you're hooked enough to keep developing it, I would spool out what you have here, let it take a little longer to develop (not too long, of course, but the exposition can wait a wee while). I think you already know that, though. Good work!
Toggle Commented Mar 17, 2012 on Chosen Words at Ravens' View
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Mar 16, 2012