Having gone through this experience myself (twice!), I can verify that the most appropriate font for celebrating this joyous occasion is indeed Cooper Black. WELL DONE.

Yay! Made in Cleveland!

This cannot be a coincidence: http://red.vox.com/library/post/estrangement.html

Hurrah! I promise not to sing any creepy Maurice Chevalier songs.

I remember you telling me the story of the father and the dashed jar of peanuts, mainly because my cold black heart wept a bit. I think that today is a savory food baking day. Perhaps a quiche? The Edge: once edgy, not anymore.

This is indeed merely an inevitable consequence of fruit, summer, and the decomposition process. To find out more about composting or testicular torsion, you can look at special medical books, or on the interweb!

YEARGH, I meant "not decent".

Slurry is also a reasonable thing to put on hot dogs, again because no Right Thinking Person would add not-horrible chili to cheap cased meats. In truth, though, meat in a can is fairly awful, except for perhaps lump crab (which is still an inferior product). Also, heretical does not necessarily equal decent!

I confess to having occasionally "enjoyed" Slurry, but only when poured in a bag of Fritos, and mainly because it is a sin to put reasonably decent chili in Fritos.

Hm... I have an small abundance* of leaves which I would be happy to bag and feed into your drum. No, I don't mean it That Way. *(In that there isn't very much of it, but much more than I want or need)