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I can well understand how infuriating it must be to be misquoted. But... although they are untrue about your marriage - I think the quotes they used sound very common to most long term married couples. I for one would look back on my 21 year marriage with delirium if I could only point to difficult times as 'half-happy.' I am quite comfortable to admit I have had long periods of total misery while being married. Because life has been hard for us. We've dealt with shattering family issues including inherited birth defects, the collapse of a business, the destruction by fire of our home. We're struggling with pulling ourselves out of poverty right now and it is no barrel of laughs - though we find humour wherever we can. Romantic and happy we are not. We don't do romance. We're too busy supporting each other and surviving what life keeps throwing at us. We can't even afford to go out for a drink together or go to the cinema. Our treats are the occasional take-away. Our social life revolves around trying to get a new business off the ground. I find it a little disconcerting that you automatically classify long term couples who suffered through bad times, and who don't spend time and money on romantic getaways (chance would be a fine thing) and who aren't trendy with a wardrobe of cool gear - as having boring unfulfilled marriages. Oh yes, and heaven forbid we might be middle aged and frumpy as well. If the article had stated you had numerous affairs and only stayed together for the sake of the children I could see that you might be incandescent. But while the quotes were entirely wrong for your marriage - I'm guessing the reporter was trying to put you across in a sympathetic light for the readers and trying to portray a realistic description of long term marriages. After all couples who begin marriage expecting everything to be as plain sailing as you seem to have experienced it according to this blog post - are generally going get a big shock as most people get at least one of the experiences that were wrongly attributed to you. I truly am sorry you have been misrepresented - but on behalf of boring, frumpy middle-aged people who have been through hard times - I have to say that dealing with sad times, learning to adapt to each others imperfections and going without holidays etc and nice clothes and still loving each other deeply and seeing beauty and sex appeal in each other when the rest of the world sees no such thing - is incredibly fulfilling and is certainly not boring.
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Jan 7, 2010