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Barbara Rose
Milwaukee, WI
A mom finds happiness and a way around her own limitations through helping her autistic daughter recover.
Interests: meeting and getting to know and love people; relentless self-improvement; fitness: jogging, jump rope, weights, sit-ups, rowing, basketball; hip-hop & rap music; option institute / son-rise program philosophy/techniques of self-studentship and learning to be happier
Recent Activity
Today my daughter was saying she wanted to do comparing her new white TY beanie bunny with a grey bunny of the same kind that was in the Easter holiday decorations bin, but wanted to use her cell phone instead of get the grey one down. I said I'd get it and she fought me, and I kept fighting to get it down, since most of the time she fights me and I think she'll prefer the outcome, I'm right, as in the recent example when she fought me on setting up the keyboard for easy and regular use in our living room, only to immediately join in and be excited within seconds of my playing the Mario theme and another show theme she loved as my initial piece to play. Only this time it was 180 degrees the other way - she was saying she now didn't want to... Continue reading
Posted May 18, 2020 at Curing Autism Together
Our autistic child rehearses the messages in videos and music she watches multiple times until she knows them by heart, even if they are upsetting or confusing or downright counter to useful perspectives I want her to have. So I finally decided to create the memorization notebook, whether for words or concepts like pi = 3.14. She needs to have something in her brain that sticks and is reliable to recall, other than songs' often nauseatingly mixed messages, like Cindy Lauper's "True Colors", "Girl is on Fire" by Alicia Keyes, Christina Aguilara's "Beautiful" where they are saying positive things with negative feel and minor keys so she's confused and depressed by them, or cartoons like the Simpson's where she sometimes learns and enjoys episodes where beliefs that absolutely will NOT help her and will undermine her progress are being promoted. She knows the golden rule, Grant Cardone's "Success is my... Continue reading
Posted May 18, 2020 at Curing Autism Together
ANNA HASN'T BEEN UNDERSTANDING OR RETAINING DEFINITIONS OF ABSTRACT/ SOPHISTICATED CONCEPTS FOR A LONG TIME, WE ONLY NOW REALIZED IT I’m a Practioner of the Anat Baniel Method (ABM) Neuromovement. I realized having Anna be told what more abstract concepts and words was failing to stick because she didn’t understand words being used to explain them, and the words to explain those words, and so on. She didn’t understand how what a word 'means' is how it can be expressed in other words, which requires spontaneous speech to phrase the meaning in other abstract nouns, like a car being "a way people get around" or a "conveyance", which can only be defined this way by someone who knows what a "way" or "conveyance" is, for example, or knows synonyms for a word - our child still doesn't know or remember what 'synonym' even means, or it doesn't "stick" because she... Continue reading
Posted May 17, 2020 at Curing Autism Together
I'm an Anat Baniel Method® Neuromovement® practitioner with an autistic teenager. I also so the Son-Rise Program with my daughter as a team leader, but was never certified in that. I've been writing these blog posts often without posting because I don't have time or prioritize making them pretty with pictures, include both my child and my own growth and development (I have high-functioning autism most likely - never diagnosed) and more brief and elegant, but decided I'm now just going to post so you can see a lot of the data points I'm saving by drafting posts, in the nearly original form - this is one of those. USING ABM NEUROMOVEMENT "DESK TRAINER" / "NEUROMOVEMENT FOR YOUR BUSY LIFE" For the last several weeks I have been use anatbanielmethod.com's "NeuroMovement for Your Busy Life" (formerly known as the "Desk Trainer") series with my daughter -sitting on couches in our... Continue reading
Posted Oct 2, 2019 at Curing Autism Together
I've been doing ABMN lessons (Anat Baniel Method® Neuromovement®) consistently now for about 2 weeks, after doing lessons only inconsistently before, and getting more progress from the inside out from her, as well as coming up with some really inventive and useful lessons for and with her on-the-fly. Our daughter has giant problems putting her legs near each other after years of begging, ordering, coaxing, etc.. It's part of the mental scars of her autism in combination with crippling pain from inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) that has gotten all screwed up in her brain and we cannot convince her otherwise. When she used to cross her legs for years when she wouldn't poop more often than once every 7-10 days and it was just torture to see her suffer but resist pooping that would end it (when she eventually did, she felt great and we were always al relieved, and... Continue reading
Posted Sep 27, 2019 at Curing Autism Together
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CAREER vs AUTISM RECOVERY My daughter recently turned 18 and while this is wonderful that she made it here, given I was often afraid she wouldn't survive til adulthood between her debilitating inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and self-endangering behaviors her autism caused, such as her often running in the street as a child to see my reaction, climbing onto and walking on our windowsills and elevated deck railing, and trying to cover her head with covers despite multiple attempts I made to help her not suffocate, it's still bittersweet. I had hoped she'd be further along in her autism recovery and feel torn between completing my autism recovery by creating a career for myself that I didn't do when younger, which is time consuming and must take place away from her, since she loves to interact continuously with me when I'm around her and I can't get anything done. It's... Continue reading
Posted Sep 9, 2019 at Curing Autism Together
INNER EMOTIONAL CONFLICT IN AUTISTIC KIDS IS VERY CONFUSING & REQUIRES DECODING Yesterday (TU 5/21/19): I said I would make pasta and sauce. my daughter said she couldn't eat with sauce because we were out of parmesan cheese and it was too late for us to get it before dinner (implying she didn't want it with sauce if there was no parmesan cheese on it, too). I said, maybe you can try another cheese (since we have several in the refrigerator) like feta or cheddar. This set off what was about an hour of severe upset and argument from my daughter that nothing I could say about the feta would quell. She likes to have it with butter (if there's no parmesan cheese / sauce). Acknowledging this didn't stop her upset. She said she doesn't like feta on pasta. Acknowledging this didn't stop her upset. Remembering that one time I... Continue reading
Posted May 22, 2019 at Curing Autism Together
I am getting comfortable with a reduced Son-Rise Team thru Firing and Attrition + Anna for the First time Ever Finds Word Mispronunciations Funny, Suggests Adding Punctuation (adding a period) in a Text I was asking her to send. This following a dramatic drop in my staff after many frustrating months trying to train and and let go people in a timely way, I'm discovering low levels of very intense coaching and teaching by me is more effective than I realized. I find it hard to fire Son-Rise Participants, need to run my Son-Rise Program more like a business from now on Don't blame the Son-Rise Program! They tell us if someone isn't performing well it's important to let them go and feel comfortable about it, but I just struggle with that still. It's my belief system or experience holding me back, to have so much trouble firing people or... Continue reading
Posted Jan 22, 2019 at Curing Autism Together
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Anna's becoming more cognitively and socially sophisticated in little steps. For example: Fall 2017 (Sept/ Oct/ Nov) on-going: Inner Conflict Expressed Anna started having inner conflict expressed outwardly, like you're listening to the character Hamlet going back and forth whether or not to do something. It started when she started copying the father in a youtube video telling his daughter she can't get a toy (and is pretty deprecating of her interest in it which I don't like). After many retellings of this somewhat distasteful video, she starts quoting it when she's deciding not to buy something, like deciding not to buy fritos because she says they it made her sick once. It's often there's discomfort around the issue, like she's saying it over and over rather than just walking by the thing, she'll bring up not buying something 20 times, asking what I think of it, what she thinks... Continue reading
Posted Jan 1, 2018 at Curing Autism Together
"[Anat Baniel Method International] will be offering three consecutive days of Anat Baniel Method® NeuroMovement® (ABMNM) private sessions, at no cost, to children 0-12 years old on December 7-9, 2017 at the ABM Center in San Rafael, CA." Consider getting a free taste of this therapy this week! It's not too late! It will raise your child's mental processing speed and aid their recovery - it has for my daughter and myself. I'm going to be going to the Anat Baniel Method 3-day free kids' lessons this week Dec 7-9 and wanted people to know there's still room for other kids! I've been doing ABM for about 2 years on myself and my daughter and have noticed I'm getting smarter and faster at doing complex mental tasks, and my daughter's progress in her Son-Rise program (which I run and primarily use to help her recover) has sped up and is... Continue reading
Posted Dec 5, 2017 at Curing Autism Together
In the attempt to get my Son-Rise home therapy program participant training automated - at least in part - I am recording and uploading training videos so i don't need to repeat myself with new trainees, who are mostly coming from UWM (Univ of Wisconsin, Milwaukee) and Marquette. As you recall, I have a "Training Pyramid" of I train people, and am constructing a website with an organized training library which I can put on for them to watch based on what I have that's available, with the intention of putting all my training online. For now I'll just post them how I find or record them but subscribe to my youtube channel and/or to this blog (see the "feed burner" box at left to do so), and you'll at least be able to see them as they come and decide if they have value for training people who are... Continue reading
Posted Sep 7, 2017 at Curing Autism Together
I have contrasted ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) and Son-Rise Program® before but never posted a training video for someone coming from that perspective, so here you go! I recorded this at the spur of the moment - I didn't even take time to fix my hair before recording because a person was there for their training session and I felt like it was a bit over the top to do that! BTW, I always have in Informational Meeting before asking people to come back for training, and some of the Son-Rise perspective has already been set in that person's mind. Then they come for their first session, like this one, which begins with me asking what they remember and about the program and their experiences (if any) with autistic people. Then I base the training to build on what they already know. In this case it's ABA, but that's just... Continue reading
Posted Jul 15, 2017 at Curing Autism Together
Anna has autism and I often create curriculum for her out of what I might have or used to do FOR her which I help her do herself; often really mundane work reveals core autistic deficits precisely because they are so unadorned and basic. I find helping my child do the basic elements of work I might do for her, done with my skilled and supportive help and instruction, makes it an interactive, in-context and compelling activity for her since she gets something she wants out of it when she succeeds finally. She earns money learning cognitive skills like counting "backwards" (down) and wants to add money I paid her to a spreadsheet to make sure she has enough, which is handy way to start using graphs, negative numbers, buying on credit (with a loan from me!), budgeting, addition/ subtraction, and spreadsheet skills. She doesn't NEED to do this to... Continue reading
Posted Jul 11, 2017 at Curing Autism Together
Autistic kids struggle with mental fragmentation, and this makes the concept of an unbroken linear, regularly spaced "number line" foreign and hard to absorb for them. Imagine if someone asked you to count and you had 7 tape measures each measuring different parts of it - like 1-7 is on one tape measure, 9-10 on another, and 8 and 11-13 on another, etc. It's confusing. There is nowhere to see them as an unbroken line and no habit of trying to merge them. This is what it's like for autistic kids, in my opinion. This is also why kids with autism get so focused on and successful in science and math and music because it's the first place linear concepts are taught and we hold into that (yes I'm autistic too!) for dear life and see things built upon that, without which regular social interactions and "regular life" has no... Continue reading
Posted Jul 1, 2017 at Curing Autism Together
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Anna is "moving" developmentally in response to some new elements I've been adding to her Son-Rise® Program, some that I invented, some drawn from the Anat Baniel Method® Neuromovement® (ABMN) approach (I became an ABMN practitioner in May 2017). While actual ABMN requires someone who has been through the training to do physically with someone or directing them physically, lots of elements are about thinking and general awareness (what they call "being present" in the Son-Rise Program) can be incorporated into working with autistic kids or adults by anyone as play therapy goals that require no touch or special touch, which ABM does of course. (See earlier posts where I mentioned teaching body position awareness, balance, and my teaching my child how to brush and wash her hair, for other examples.) INCREASING SHORT-TERM MEMORY In a past video I mentioned how I theorized from the data that autistic people have... Continue reading
Posted Jun 29, 2017 at Curing Autism Together
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INNER VS OUTER LOOP - CLARIFICATION I got a lot of responses to my "inner vs. outer sensory loop" theory of autism. In this post I want to refine and clarify the theory, and wanted to update you on how my daughter is doing since starting exercises I created for her to strengthen the "outer" loop, based on implications of my theory. I realized the "inner" vs. "outer" loop terms might be obscuring the fundamental distinction: whether a person is relatively disregarding (or involuntarily cut off from processing) data from their senses, vs. more continuously aware of their senses. It appears as if people who are autistic drop into periods where they are less aware of the present, unable/less able to take in, store and process new information, and are preoccupied with either just doing very simple activities in a "safe idle" mode, or preoccupied with pulling data stored from... Continue reading
Posted May 8, 2017 at Curing Autism Together
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ABM + SON-RISE YIELDS A NEW INSIGHT I recently had a major insight about what characterizes an autistic vs. a "normal" person's mental functioning, which I have for the time "inner" vs. "outer" "sensory loop dominance", which has significant implications for autism recovery therapy. This insight grew from my attempts to integrate both the Anat Baniel Method (ABM) and Option Process/ Son-Rise Program perspectives on the same behavior in my child. ABM HELPS A PERSON FOCUS ON SENSING IN THE PRESENT THROUGH SENSING VARIATIONS THEIR BODY IN THE PRESENT Several months into my Anat Baniel Method® (ABM) professional training I started noticing that ABM addressed the "outer sensory loop" (I invented this term / phrase) awareness, such as that a person is seeing something and feeling something new as we move their limbs very slowly and gently around in their zone of comfort, which is what happens in an ABM... Continue reading
Posted Apr 30, 2017 at Curing Autism Together
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Anna keeps talking about certain events - fictitious or real - over and over all day for days, composing 80% of what she spontaneously talks about, and is on her mind that day; everything else is in response to something I - or our other Son-Rise® Program participants - said on another topic. This is a higher functioning autistic trait - they call it "obsession" or "compulsion" - it's like having a song tune stuck in your head all day and so strongly if effectively blocks out all other topics and learning. Anat Baniel Method helps by giving the child direct physical experiences that have new variations built in and feel great and go directly to the brain to stimulate change, but in the mean time, Son-Rise also does wonders for it, only directly cognitively. Anna's most recent haircut April 2017. I recognized I wanted to open up my daughter's... Continue reading
Posted Apr 12, 2017 at Curing Autism Together
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Something like 95% of what my daughter says (it's probably higher, I'm just leaving room for occasional unusual comment, and perhaps a little bit of denial) are the same topics, same sentence construction, and in most cases, the same exact sentences or questions nearly word-for-word with perhaps one word swapped out. She'll ask how I feel that she's gotten (or going to get) a certain toy, or what I think of something that happened in a video, or about how she found various videos and shows online. A small subset of that 95%, maybe 20% of that, may be about something she did other than buying toys or watching a show, but that is almost without exception more than 2 years ago, any and all of which we have talked over - the exact sentences - dozens, hundreds, even thousands of times, just like the other sentences. It's just a... Continue reading
Posted Feb 13, 2017 at Curing Autism Together
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2016-11-07 CREATING CUSTOM CURRICULUM FOR KIDS WITH AUTISM AND ADD/ADHD, “ON THE FLY” I created "Big Book(s) of Learning" from a thick spiral notebook, where I capture my child’s focus whenever it lands and create an activity to extend that area of interest through an activity. Autistic kids and those with ADD/ADHD (all autistic kids have, both) have trouble controlling their intentional focus, and many time more difficulty doing so when someone else is directing them, so whenever their interest is on a topic it’s extra valuable to go with that topic, which is exactly what we do in the Son-Rise Program. It’s like jumping from lily pad to lily pad with your child, where each place you land you’re ready to start doing and learning something together from that vantage point. Anna's two current "Big Books of Knowledge", organized by tabs for each page. I created these book because... Continue reading
Posted Nov 9, 2016 at Curing Autism Together
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2 STAGE 4 DEVELOPMENTAL GOALS FALL! Friday Nov 4th, 2016 Anna completed something like 2 years of work inviting, prompting, questioning, etc. her indicate the missing where and when, which together indicate the context of any statement, like the setting of a play. She used to always say for example, "Can we get ice cream?" or "Can we get ice cream at Pick and Save?" with no "when words", so it was "no" if she meant now, and yes if she meant next time we were shopping, but it was never obvious to the listener absent the where and when what to answer. The context statements usually bundle the where and when - the when is next time, the where is at the store. She's now indicating both most of the time - up at the 85% of the time it would be appropriate for normal speakers. This means she's... Continue reading
Posted Nov 6, 2016 at Curing Autism Together
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People who are learning how to invite and extend conversations with autistic kids through adding variety to speech. Celebrating (cheering, showing appreciation, reacting positively) is the more important, effective and fundamental way to extend conversations, but the adding variety angle is the very next thing to do once you have the child taking an interest in you because of the celebrating. So here is stuff to brainstorm about that will help you work with your child to entice more speech and interaction. Throwback photo of Anna from 2013 with of our long-standing participants, S.M., who has once moved on (sniff!) (1) Make a list of everything your child most talks about - you know, all the things your child says or talks about over and over again). Break down that conversation into its component parts. Write 3 things that each thing that relate to any or all of the component... Continue reading
Posted Nov 4, 2016 at Curing Autism Together
Math can be the source of refreshing challenges and variety. This is this morning's session, where I chose to use dot-to-dots to teach counting by 5's while exercising all our interactive-gym type of activities. The bottom line for my team watching this is that you're always teaching something, whether it's turn-taking or math, to keep it interesting and spur growth through challenge and celebration. And you have to think on your feet and figure things out!! Notice all program principles weave together to invite and sustain quality interactions throughout. I am using the "adding variety" component of the Son-Rise® Program to encourage my daughter to learn math concepts like counting by "5s" using an adult-level-complexity dot-to-dot puzzle book (David Kalvitis). Notice the following elements in the interaction: Loving, accepting, nonjudgmental and happy attitude, expressed as the "3 e's" (energy, excitement and enthusiasm), whether expressed loudly or quietly, showing focus and... Continue reading
Posted Apr 30, 2016 at Curing Autism Together
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My photo & video tribute to Prince - out of respect and love Thank you for the fun, the inspiration, and the mystery of somehow bringing heaven to earth in the form of music. You had your own channel, so original. I so enjoyed your music. Purple Rain live video embedded below: Prince at his peak during the Purple Rain phenomenon: We must pick up the mantle; someone new now must inspire us. Perhaps it is you, or me. Most definitely gone too soon. Bye Prince Continue reading
Posted Apr 22, 2016 at Curing Autism Together
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Changes since I've started incorporating ABM (Anat Baniel Method) with my Son-Rise Program - and in myself - include: I'm having the urge to apply the super-slow, super-gentle used in ABM to touching my daughter's arm or hand when she's trying to formulate a complex sentence - something she struggles with and is learning - and find it encourages her to go slower, and for both of us to be more mentally present, and she more often to add the words she might ordinarily leave out if she were racing quickly through a phrase she often says with both of us being less-than-fully present;\ Anna is really into cooking! I'm more willing and able to create and allow variations (without judgment!) knowing that variations are what the brain needs to work with as raw materials and to stimulate thought to choose and refine any skill or knowledge. For example: my... Continue reading
Posted Mar 31, 2016 at Curing Autism Together