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Bob Price
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Here are some advantages that both sexes have over each other: MEN OVER WOMEN We don't have to endure the equivalent of a 10 pound thanksgiving squash coming out of our body after nine months of pregnancy We can fart at any time and not feel ashamed by it. Although... Continue reading
Posted Jun 27, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
My next door neighbour and I, I think, are on good terms. But now I'm starting to re-consider. Recently he came over to apologize about all the mud that he sprayed onto my porch/window, as he sprayed down his bike. No problem, because frankly I never noticed. Until later that... Continue reading
Posted Jun 7, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
First off, I apologize for my Harry Houdini act as of late. Let's call it writer's block or something to that affect. If you've got a lawn like me, then you probably have weeds. And if your lawn looks like mine, you've got shit loads of them. I'm plucking, pulling,... Continue reading
Posted May 25, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
There are some people in the workforce who are a big proponent of "If you're going to take a shit, you might as well get paid for it", and thus they make it a regular thing during working hours. So to keep up with up with my demented persona, I... Continue reading
Posted May 5, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
On a trip from Vancouver to Toronto, I get bumped up to first class instead of having to sit with the rest of the cattle. I couldn't have been happier. As I sat in my POD, feet up, stretched out, the other peasants began to board the plane. I had... Continue reading
Posted May 1, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
During a provincial campaign, one of the people I wasn't planning on voting for came to my door, asking for my support. She was courteous, friendly and answered my questions. As we concluded our conversation on the porch, I told her that although I don't like her party's platform, I... Continue reading
Posted Apr 19, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
If your parents decided to name you one of the following five names when you were a baby, the odds are against you that you will ever be hot: 1) Marge 2) Anne-Marie 3) Pat (not Patricia) 4) Ramona 5) Jean What the hell were your parents thinking? Continue reading
Posted Apr 15, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
American people get a real kick out of making fun of Canadians for the use of the word, eh. They poke us about it all the time. Saying stuff like: "I hear it's cold up there, eh.", which is usually followed by some laughing and further "eh" jokes. While we... Continue reading
Posted Apr 13, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
I marvel at how well behaved my sister's children are when they're at a restaurant. They colour, they chat quietly and they respect their parents. Kind of reminds me of when we were kids going out for dinner. If we ever acted up, we would get just one look from... Continue reading
Posted Apr 12, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
I know that we're not all rocket scientists, but how difficult is it to flush the toilet? If you're in a public bathroom, you do your thing, then you take your foot and step on the stupid flusher. Takes two seconds. However, there are people that find that to be... Continue reading
Posted Apr 11, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
While walking through a mall, I got behind a lady holding hands with her little son. Without question, she had the biggest ass I've ever seen. As I stared at her ass, I couldn't help but wonder-- Did she shit him out? If you know a good shrink, pass along... Continue reading
Posted Apr 8, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
Every now and then we succumb to temptation and to the bacteria infested hot dogs and sausages served by street vendors. They taste fantastic. And depending on how hot you prefer your sauseeeeege, you may pay for it the next day. When you're adding your ketchup, your onions, your pickels... Continue reading
Posted Apr 6, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
About 6 months ago I installed a new window on my front door. It's one of those windows with a design on it. Quite frankly, I forget the fancy name for it, so get off my back. Anyhow, I had it installed so that I wasn't a prisoner in my... Continue reading
Posted Apr 5, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
There is an unwritten rule that states once you receive the order from a client, that you graciously thank them, shake their hand, then get the hell out of there. Reason: Anything you say from that point could jeopardize the sale. For example, I was working with a distributor on... Continue reading
Posted Apr 4, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
Anyone who is the root cause of a traffic jam on the Friday before a long weekend, should never be aloud to drive again. I don't care if your shit-box decided to stall or if you ran out of gas or if you spilt coffee all over your crotch, give... Continue reading
Posted Mar 31, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
While having dinner with some of my American colleagues one time in the Philadelphia area, the topic of Canadians infiltrating Florida for the winter was discussed. It was a rather innocent conversation. We talked about how older Canadians make the trek to their retirement homes from the colder climate for... Continue reading
Posted Mar 30, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
Before a Blue Jays game one time, my buddies and I were walking towards our gate, when we saw a Toronto sports reporter named Suneel Joshi. I asked, "Are you Suneel Joshi?" He replied in the most cockiest of ways "I try to be." I said "Well, try harder." Continue reading
Posted Mar 28, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
Back in my college days, a friend of mines younger brother was having a party, while their parents were out of town. My buddy asked me to help to keep an eye on the party. As the little punks started to arrive, you could tell who were the cool ones... Continue reading
Posted Mar 28, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
While flying out west one time, I had the luxury of sitting beside one of the most disgusting people on the planet. First off, he smelt like he bathed in a tub of fermented diarrhea and then gargled his mouth with the same fermented diarrhea. Second of all, he must... Continue reading
Posted Mar 26, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
In business or in life, we all come across that one person who has an excuse for everything. Instead of owning up to a mistake, they pass the buck or toss out fabricated reasons for their short falls. "How come this order didn't get shipped out?" Excuse: "Oh I was... Continue reading
Posted Mar 26, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
Vegas is an experience. The lights, the energy and the lack of rules, among other things, can contribute to an exciting 4 day fashizzle. I wonder though, if the Vegas advertisements showed some of the reality that goes on, would people still want to go? For one, it seems like... Continue reading
Posted Mar 24, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
90% of all the luggage on the carousel is black. They all look the same. As the people wait for their bag to show up, they tend to get antsy. They're flipping over bags, grabbing tags and elbowing the rest of us, just to see if it's their incredibly important... Continue reading
Posted Mar 24, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
Here's a novel idea: How about letting the people get off the elevator before you get on. It will only take an extra 5-7 seconds of your life to patiently wait. There are a lot of people who don't get this concept. I often wonder what goes on in their... Continue reading
Posted Mar 22, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
When I first started my career in sales, I had to do a lot of cold calling. Cold calling sucks on the best of days, but when you had to deal with miserable, old secretaries, it made it even worse. There was one secretary who made my life hell. She... Continue reading
Posted Mar 18, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes
Doesn't it kinda bug ya, when you hold the door open for someone at either Starbucks or Tim Hortons and they just continue to the line? Shouldn't they step to the side and let you go ahead of them? Your attitude all of a sudden changes. You go from a... Continue reading
Posted Mar 17, 2011 at Bob's Etiquettes