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I always feel like the jerkiest jerk that ever did jerk responding to these inquiries (not from you personally, just in general). Granted the littles (8 (in 4 days), 6 and 4) can't do everything to clean up after themselves but they absolutely are able to help with dishes, folding their laundry, picking up the bathroom & after themselves. Chrissie (16)(!!!) can of course do pretty much anything I ask of her; she doesn't necessarily ''want'' to but...join the club, sister. Me neither. Blah, all that said: chore charts gave us a good start but can be a pain to maintain and really after a few weeks, should be ingrained. My best suggestion is starting the day ''clean''. Beds made in morning, breakfast dishes cleared, bathroom picked up (which shouldn't be hard if it's not destroyed the night before). Individually it may take 5-10 mins. If I have to do it all, it's much more time consuming and frankly, I have things to do that don't include scrubbing hardened toothpaste after 4 people every day. Same for afternoons & evenings. Dinner set up & clean up, folding and putting away laundry, putting away toys & back packs after homework. 5-10 of their time vs two or more hours of my time. And my time is more important, period. Even moreso now with the baby (love her love her love her). 20 mins a day times 6 kids is two hours, Carmen. For all the shuttling, cooking, entertaining and care you give them, they can spend 20 mins a day to make things run smoother. I second Frank's suggestion (not that it's new or hasn't been done before, ha). No threats, cajoling or emotional appeals. 10 mins in the morning, 10 mins in the evening is expected and barring sickness or sudden onset paralysis, no excuses or negotiations. Routines become routine when they're enforced as habit (and please know I don't mean that in the asshole perfectionist know-it-all way it sounds; my living room looks like an autopsy was performed there right now).
Toggle Commented Jun 2, 2010 on Untidy at Mom to the Screaming Masses
We're pretty boring, it's almost always either oranges or peanut butter & apples.
I do agree that it takes a village to raise a child, a village of our choosing. Meaning when a ''well meaning'' stranger attempts to intervene when any of my kids are melting down in public, I just ask as nicely as possible, ''How many of your kids did I tell you how to raise or discipline?'' and as the answer is most assuredly NONE I then ask them to extend to me the same courtesy. Because seriously, wtf goes through the minds of some people? While I don't think shushing is helpful, at all, to the parent or child it's also nowhere near as inappropriate and illegal as assaulting a child. End of the day, if you're not actively helping or offering assistance (hold packages, hands of other children in parking lots/crowded areas etc.) not advice, avert your judging glare and eat your damn bagel.
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Charming Bitch is now following The Typepad Team
Mar 15, 2010
As you said, it was obviously a show intended to cause controversy without the slightest hint of resolution. I thought you presented your thoughts concisely and I would not have guessed your appearance wasn't scheduled. Good job.
Toggle Commented Oct 15, 2009 on Dr. Phil & The Mommy Wars at Twenty Four At Heart
Man it is so interesting how something that has been going on since....well, forever, can have such different paths to the same ending. My um ''birth plan'' was to be numb from the neck down and I'm not really sure what I thought would happen afterwards. Real life turned into a ten+ hour labor without drugs with the added bonus of HOURS of pushing. That said, I hope your girl gets here in the time and way best for everyone involved and that daddy makes it home on time!!
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xoxoxoxo I hope things get better soon; am doing a similar dance with crazy pills right now and honestly most days all I can do is cry, like A LOT. UGH, wishes for our brains to get with the program already.
Toggle Commented Sep 2, 2009 on Brain Pills For All! at Inverse Candlelight
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I saw the preview of Tough Love and was horrified. HORRIFIED. Essentially a smarmy guy with a toothy smile 'charms' women into foregoing anything unique or original to them to get a man. Niiiiiiiiiiiice. DO NOT WANT.
Toggle Commented Mar 11, 2009 on Some Stern Words With VH1 at Inverse Candlelight
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Good job, lady. Keep it up, you're worth it.
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Sounds like progress to me, pretty girl.Good job!
Toggle Commented Feb 4, 2009 on She's Alive! at Inverse Candlelight
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Oh honey, I am so, so sorry you're not feeling well and I super hope (hear that rash? SUPER HOPE!! IN YOUR FACE!!) it is nerves/stress and not anything (physically) worse; and no, please don't think I'm underestimating the hurt of PTSD and the import of your anniversary of sobriety; I just hope it's something benadryl and hugs can treat. On that note: HUGS. And huge kudos for your first of many, many years of sobriety. You're doing great, kiddo.
Toggle Commented Jan 31, 2009 on Disease!: Part The Second at Inverse Candlelight
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