Love this post. I feel the same way. My kids have no desire to join, but if they did I think I'd find an alternative (there are some out there made especially for kids) and try to get the other kids to join that until they were all 13. What do you think: Kick-Ass for Jake? He's almost nine. I think he'd die of happiness if I took him.

Oh, I feel your pain. I stress over getting ready for events and packing for a trip - where I need to put together three or four outfits in a row - is a nightmare. But I've started to pay attention to some of the people in my life who are the most put together, and it's not complicated. I've always imagined that you have to be a clotheshorse to look great all the time, but the people I've been watching tend to fall into one of two categories: either they wear a "uniform" - they've found a look that works on them and they have it in many variations - or they've simply spent time putting together three or four great outfits that they wear all the time. And it took me two years to notice they were rotating only a few outfits.

Thanks! We'll see how it turns out...

I did a trans-Atlantic flight alone when I was twelve. I had a fantastic time, but of course I was more than three years older than my son is now. I won't be freaked, I'm just not that type. But I also know that I won't be able to think about much else until they're back with Daddy.

Oh Marinka, I'm bothered more by your admission that you're a helicopter mom than by the thought of a child being left alone on the subway! Look out, I'm coming to kidnap your kids and let them run free... No, in all seriousness, I feel pretty much the same as you do. The other day my son ran ahead of me - way ahead - as our train pulled in to the station. I was screaming for him to stop but he couldn't hear me because of the train and he didn't realize that his sister and I were so far behind. He would have ended up about two subway cars down from us if he hadn't heard me at the last second and ran back. And then I yelled some more. I won't let him cross the street by himself because I'm not seeing consistently good street-crossing behavior (he's 8) but he and his six-year-old sister are about to take their first plane ride without us, which I believe they're ready for. Each situation is different and I think each of us knows our kids best and can be the best judge of when they're ready for things. But neglect in that situation? That's asinine. It was clearly a mistake, not willful. That makes me scared for the next time I mess up. It will be bad enough that I did something dumb, now I'll have to worry about having charges brought against me too.

That's a whole other can of worms, and I know it's not for me. But however we react, with hitting or doubling up on the punishments, I just wonder if there should be a grace period, a kind-of cooling off time where I just hold my tongue and ignore what comes next. Or, if each offense should be punished separately to teach him to stop and take a breath and not make things worse. Which, of course, is what I should be doing.

In this particular case we ended up physically wrestling for a few seconds over a skateboard. Not fun a block from school with people I know all around watching! Sorry, haven't figured out the secret yet, except maybe getting more sleep. :-)

Just when I thought you couldn't get any cooler, TRAPEZE? Glad your mom is better.

Pole dancing on your birthday? You're my hero.

Excellent post - one that I just couldn't make myself write after taking my son to weeks and weeks of PTA-funded Saturday test prep. I'm so against all of this testing, but also want him to do well on the tests - what's a mom to do?

Good God, now you've got me thinking about my first jobs. At Arby's I learned that sometimes managers make dumb rules because it's easier than thinking. Man, does that apply to motherhood. At McDonald's I learned to stand up for myself. I hope I pass that one on to my kids. But at all of my waitressing jobs, I just learned that waitressing sucks, and I hope I pass my over-tipping tendencies on to my kids. The rest of the jobs? There were many, and bit by bit they taught me that I hate working for others. Part of it was laziness, but part was a sense that I was busting my ass just to make someone else richer. Let's hope I can pass an entrepreneurial spirit on to my kids. Thanks for making me remember all of those horrible jobs. I'll get you back. :-)

Oh that sucks. We were in our 1st "temp" apartment in NJ for 4 years. We would have done things so different when we moved in had we known. When we moved to our current place the kitchen was disgusting, but we said "We'll just be using it for a year at most, until the renovation is done." It took us 3.5 years to get another kitchen. Ugh. We need to get you on one of those renovation shows. You're a blogger, you've got twins, we've got to work those angles.

Wow. Believe it or not I never saw Ordinary People, but I can relate to the change in focus and sympathy. And thanks for reminding me about what an obnoxious, self-centered teen I was.

I can totally sympathize. With the crappy weather we had going on in NYC, the kids didn't step out of the house from Saturday until today. They were ready to kill each other. But today I dragged them (or did they drag me?) all over midtown Manhattan and did totally touristy stuff, and they loved it. Yes, we just got home - wow are their bedtimes totally screwed - but they were pretty good all day and we had a great time. Listen, it's not that I like them being home all day. It's just that I like changing things up once in a while, trading one set of annoyances for another. It's like the change of seasons. I really don't like wearing gloves and hats, but for a while I don't have to put sunscreen on the kids and I can wear make-up without it sweating right off of my face. But I'm still happy when warm weather rolls around, just like I'll be thrilled when school starts again.

Every time my son "yucks my yum" (his term) I tell him that I didn't like anything when I was a kid and that he, too, may love spinach/salad/pesto/avocado/sour cream/deviled eggs one day too. He doesn't believe me, but I know there's hope. On the other hand, while I eat way more foods than I did as a kid, I'm still a very picky eater, so I don't expect him to grow up and be that guy with the TV show who goes around the world eating everything!

Wow, did this hit my inbox on the right (wrong?) day. I'm sick. My husband had to get the kids ready for school this morning and take them on his way to work. I forgot to wash my son's gym pants so they were all late. My fault, right? But he knew I was sick last night and he'd probably have to take the kids. And yet, there was no offer of help, no checking if the kids needed anything for the morning that I couldn't do. And instead of sleeping in and feeling better, I was instead finding pants and making sure the kids had everything they needed to get out the door and getting into a fight. He stepped up just enough to actually get them to school, no more. And left mad at me - the sick one - since I hadn't done enough.

Well, I can't speak from my own experience, but my husband loves them, and several relatives have loved them in my presence. And even though I've never eaten one, I can't imagine anything being made worse by deep frying it.

"I miss them, a lot, but maybe in the way you'd miss prison life if it was all you'd known for a while, like Brooks Hatlen." I hate you for being able to put into one hysterical sentence what I've been trying to explain for years. :-)

Luckily we get to do when we visit my mom - usually to our favorite Niagara Falls casino. :-)

Oh Good God, I'm totally unprepared. I'll get on that as soon as the laundry's done, I swear! I think I can do the shoe-box one pretty easily. I even have smoke hoods for each of us (the kids sleep on the top floor of a four-story house, so I'm pretty terrified of a fire) but who knows if we'd find them in time in the dark? They're going in the shoe-boxes for sure.

OMG Nancy, that's the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Not funny that you have pneumonia, of course, but you know what I mean. Get better soon!

Oh Nancy, you're a better (crazier? dumber? OK, I'll stick with better because I like you) woman than I. I too am the lone holdout in my house. But I know that if I gave in, I would resent the hell out of the dog. So I have to stay strong. Good for you for being willing to do such a nice and worthwhile thing.

No, I think you're right. If you look at the other interests and groups that most of the tea-bagging-birther-deathers belong to, and which barely-concealed racists they watch on TV and listen to on talk radio, it's clear. But of course they won't get anywhere as racists, so they keep having to invent these bullshit reasons to be against him. The funny thing is, there are some valid points here and there being brought up, but they're drowned out by nonsense. I started going into the racism thing when I was first writing this post, and it just got too unwieldy. It needs a post of its own.