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Eli Underwood
I'm so into you.
Interests: Words, vox, images, recovery
Recent Activity
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Do you ever get hit so strongly by such a powerful childhood memory that you sob with poignant loneliness for a pie made with berries you picked in a hot field with a black horse swatting flies with his long tail, and your grandfather's quietness at the edge of the pines when you both held so still that deer walked up to you and blinked, when you believed that somehow the moon in the dark lake was going to be your life? But it wasn't and it's gone - all of it, the woods, the people, the home, the fields,... Continue reading
Posted Sep 30, 2019 at LOVER
Bella Ciao/Marc Ribot & Tom Waits Continue reading
Posted Aug 1, 2019 at LOVER
Posted Jul 7, 2019 at LOVER
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Thank you, Emergent Strategies community for our immersion. I'm saturated with embodied and witnessed growth, vulnerability, bravery, joy, grief, lessons, 💖 close 💥 intimate 💖 community. As an introvert with C-PTSD and on-the-spectrum sensory overload challenges, you helped me/modeled for me how to stay in my body, discomfort, blunders, goofy, immersed, neck deep - you honored my limitations in a way that radically affected my perception of myself in relation to you. The sustaining bounty of delicious food & coffee, water, tea, potions, chocolate, fruit, sage, rosewater, wisdom. The questions, pain, healing, power. Secrets revealed, relations beginning, revelations, patterns, spin,... Continue reading
Posted Jul 1, 2019 at LOVER
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Way Back that time I went to Prague on a photography fellowship and demanded my boyfriend Jonathan meet me when it was over so we could fly to Barcelona where we lived like mad youth for weeks in dead summer heat, washed our clothes in the sink, walked for days in all directions, drank gallons of red wine with coca cola (yes) and coffee coffee coffee, ate many greasy salty things, roamed night-wet alleys madly in love, eyes spinning black lace songs, fought, cried, danced, and climbed to the top of the Sagrada Familia feeling the whole time like our... Continue reading
Posted Jun 18, 2019 at LOVER
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She jotted down what she He couldn't read fast enough The action at the very moment Then there was rue Linné No one remembers the eleventh arrondissement At the tip of the tongue We return to love/invent Savory/chess problems Through micro-vignettes Bread and butter dreams Flight toward windy sky Returned to romance I go with The presence in Paris/old new To astound even the most experienced Communication seaborne I was being/asked Unfolded on his lap Bookbinder, cobbler, rusty key The world comes to each day Love letters in a dinner jacket Humming We make silver/stories I affirm verities Mazes and... Continue reading
Posted Jun 7, 2019 at LOVER
Posted Mar 15, 2019 at LOVER
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just my krewe (all photos ©EAU) Continue reading
Posted Mar 15, 2019 at LOVER
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didn't we ramble (all photos ©EAU) Continue reading
Posted Mar 6, 2019 at LOVER
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Going Home ceremony for Big Chief Donald Harrison Sr. All photos ©EAU Continue reading
Posted Feb 21, 2019 at LOVER
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The bottle of Jack was more than half gone when the hospital called. Dread is weather, it floods and freezes. It's possible to live without it, but it'd been awhile. Driving through Michigan winter, was there ever color? Color leeched out; I knew what was happening. Where were you when your mother died? I went to my first big parade, Endymion. The spectacle pounds the sense out of me - I fight for special beads. At home later in bed, the old rotary phone rings over and over. "Hello?" "...........". This was before technology. Dread skitters back on hooves, gut... Continue reading
Posted Feb 8, 2019 at LOVER
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White people, I'm not entirely with you. My mother, yes, had white skin, and her culture was Russian/Polish Orthodox Catholic. But her ancestors lied to get to America to escape religious and political persecution, and were from Vilna, Russia which is also Wilno, Poland, an embattled area known as a Jewish enclave, whose identity shifted to fit each new conqueror, whose maps have been redrawn so many times that even the land my mother's history is rooted in can't be its authentic self. Town and family names were changed to protect the guilty or conjure innocence, a gesture of hope... Continue reading
Posted Jan 24, 2019 at LOVER
In sacred water The golden basin Oh great goddess It was not magic Anywhere I was became my temple He went limp as a sleeping child Hang from the mast itself My hands unwound the cord that bound the knife to its end When I emerged Trailing a ribbon of gold The spell I mean to do, I do not know what will happen It was so simple Is there a moment the heart cracks? I had grown wise enough to know I kissed him Divinity shines in me The last rays of the sun before they drown In the... Continue reading
Posted Jan 5, 2019 at LOVER
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Collage/©EUnderwood Continue reading
Posted Dec 27, 2018 at LOVER
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"Curiosity was born with the universe," Olson reminds you, "it redeems and is erotic." Swing/Holga camera, 400TriX film, sepia toned/©EUnderwood Continue reading
Posted Dec 18, 2018 at LOVER
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What Life/Poem excerpt & pastel and paint marker drawing on repurposed accounting ledger circa 1904/©EUnderwood Continue reading
Posted Dec 17, 2018 at LOVER
Posted Dec 17, 2018 at LOVER
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Transitions/graphite on repurposed paper/©EUnderwood We gathered warm eggs The land is vast Haunted by ghosts and shadows What a life was worth Under the big sky Sitting quietly at the kitchen table She confided in me So cold and so sweet Every time I breathe Makes recovery possible Begin singing The shame and malice/meet them laughing When it is early morning The next elegant step Explosions, convergences, cycles Identify the vision Feel separate from the trauma I vanquish all evil Restructuring inner maps This is a non-linear spell Dream of the cell We are just trying to be ourselves Forty-six... Continue reading
Posted Dec 16, 2018 at LOVER
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Remember/Holga camera, Fuji 400 color film/©EUnderwood Continue reading
Posted Nov 30, 2018 at LOVER
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Annunciation/Holga camera, 400TMax film/©EUnderwood ------------------------------ Newness is its own nightmare, haunting sweet old patterns like a meth cloud. The stink of it - chemicals that have no right in a body, pinching every last bit of humanity out into a gaunt shell of who you really are. Who are you when you're nowhere you recognize. Somewhere wild, naked. It's like I just woke up after years of insomnia, questioning every decision I ever made. Maddening cacophony - drip drip drip tick tick tick, a goddamn metronome in the pillows, late night tv's bleeding through with teeth, and everyone thinks you're... Continue reading
Posted Nov 19, 2018 at LOVER
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This election couldn't be harder. NOT cuz America is "divided" but cuz all these races are in HEAVILY gerrymandered districts rife with electoral corruption that favors the Red. It's like life as a woman, or more accurately, a Native woman in America: work 50 times as hard to maybe get less than half of half of half. But I don't believe our success, or failure, can be measured by winning, or losing, elections. What I believe is more nuanced than that, it's more complex than binaries, which don't make sense in a progessive world. I believe that in our continued... Continue reading
Posted Nov 6, 2018 at LOVER
I haven't written here because I've been too busy protesting, organizing, marching, phone banking, conversating, conversating, conversating to turn this country around. It's taking everything. It's giving something. "My activism is the rent I pay to live on this planet," Alice Walker. Yes. Always. Still. Now. Continue reading
Posted Nov 1, 2018 at LOVER
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I was a homeless teen, escaping a violent & abusive home Not one adult cared about me I was so devastated by my reality that I almost died Nobody cared what happened to me or any girls My sexual assault, rape and abuse lasted years. The body that endures that has been taught to believe it doesn't matter - I'm not me, I'm an IT. That's the nature of abuse. The very reason why it took decades to be able to tell my story is a byproduct of abuse, and it's why abusers do what they do: power. They had... Continue reading
Posted Sep 23, 2018 at LOVER