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Eli Underwood
I'm so into you.
Interests: Words, vox, images, recovery
Recent Activity
while nothing will change, it does matter - the change. The act may be a construction and arbitrary, but ritual matters. Feeling all the emotions and also, like, yawn. This wasn't the worst year of my life. That would be the year I was raped, homeless in Detroit winter, with no resources and no protectors. Now THAT was a year. Not saying this year wasn't horrific, exhausting, revealing, powerful, historic. Just saying, well - I'm not dead yet. A lot of people are - so many it's criminal, with this completely preventable pandemic - and I grieve for them and... Continue reading
Posted Dec 31, 2020 at LOVER
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Detroit/alley; ©EAU bowl of porridge, cup of coffee, all their decorations (hemp/chia/flax seed, cinnamon, currants, drizzle of maple syrup, ashwaganda, cacao), company of the company I keep (all the animals and creatures, plants, lights, altar, incense, spirits, small rooms, big outside, trees, trains, days and nights, this body, body of it all and the falling apart). This is life. Rest as inquiry, rest as transformative sleep, rest as making sanctuary. Does it count if it's all dreams? Winter chill and winter roses, a feather falling from a bird's wing. I love that I have community with people who don't seize... Continue reading
Posted Dec 17, 2020 at LOVER
dream a little dream Continue reading
Posted Dec 15, 2020 at LOVER
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Took WEEKS to make these, "something easy to do when I can't do anything" haha, turned into piles of failed attempts & blistered fingers but felt like a NASA genius when I got any my brain is scrambled eggs wrapped in twine. It's so uncomfortable, not being able to THINK - humbling, funny. Covid wrecked my brain! But look, pretty! Continue reading
Posted Dec 15, 2020 at LOVER
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The seminar I'm doing with Bayo Akomolafe is magical & demanding - my walls dissolve and I pretty much weep non-stop. Afterwards I just wanna sink into earth, woods. The Bear of me called to cave, to commune with the ecologies of hibernation frothing at the edges of these days It is time to rest. To be dormant, allow for decomposition, and give our bodies the precious gift of not needing to strive toward anything Continue reading
Posted Dec 15, 2020 at LOVER
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Look Down/Up; EAU What's happening in America is very much attempted coup vibes. It can be dramatic, funny, boring. We're the hostage. Who's in charge? Life hums along. We keep working. We make fun of these fools because they're so bad. We do some Christmas shopping. We make dinner. We do all the same things but with more dread, white noise chewing at the wires. The volume just keeps threading up, up - * We're enduring an attempted coup * And it doesn't bode well for the future - how voracious & relentless they are, to hold onto power. They'll... Continue reading
Posted Dec 8, 2020 at LOVER
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It's 24yrs since Tobey took his life. He was so important to me, and not just for how his death ravaged my world (I was with his corpse and dealt with the aftermath - telling his parents, cops, morgue, cleanup, his dog & apt & stuff, etc). He was an ex-lover from Detroit and a dear friend, and his death initiated a long season of winter for me, that echoed the deaths of my parents when I was 18. When Tobey's best friend and my boyfriend Arun also died 2 months later, (I found his corpse on Mardi Gras Day... Continue reading
Posted Dec 3, 2020 at LOVER
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How to finally grow up. Solutions come from direct action. Try giving inward, try giving up the violence of patriarchy. Do we act out sexually, can we be alone? How does this affect a spiritual life? Are we addicted to anything? Now we really start to rationalize and explain. But all addictions mask true feelings and change the way we deal with ourselves and others. The sun is warm. I learn to think clearly. What isn't growing is dying. The mind is not as capable as it pretends to be, of producing trustworthy knowledge. The goal of life is not... Continue reading
Posted Nov 18, 2020 at LOVER
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I was called to the sacred waters of the Great River Misi Ziibi to make my offering. My head was stirred up in mystery. I set out down the levee, walking into medicine. Wild tangled grasses bent from nomads tramping out to build their camps, dog walkers with their beasts happily off-leash, fishers dreaming today’s catch – intention wears a path. High blue sky, clumps of tall goldenrod, feathers. “There’s always a path, even in wilds,” came, “trust the people, trust the wilds”. The hot high sun bit my quarantined skin, pale from six months of being sick with Covid19... Continue reading
Posted Oct 25, 2020 at LOVER
Posted Sep 10, 2020 at LOVER
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everybody knows, forks were made by men, women made spoons first Continue reading
Posted Sep 2, 2020 at LOVER
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indifference is. "Waiting On A Friend" Congo Square, New Orleans ©EAU She broke the knife in me When I speak of trauma Tied around the hammered nail Dream/memory I always look Some body/other Whether she was there or not Cold wild Detroit Heart stitched in snow Betrayed/all ways go Sometimes you just have to break a motherfucker Hold the complexity of it all The voice unbroken/heal myself Faire l'amour au mystère Hole in a bag of seeds Spaciousness my king Santiago de Chile Flower made of stainless steel Lets me know how I feel Enlarged to the size Dry from... Continue reading
Posted Aug 31, 2020 at LOVER
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when there’s no path forward when there is no hope when even justice feels threatening to our necks and our lives when we can't breathe when victory and salvation are huge risks to take to make sanctuary in these times? what does it mean "Transistions" graphite on repurposed paper; EAU 2020 A blueprint for how Poems, deeper Suspended in water in sky Fir, cedar, fungus, ancient, cycle Resting place/cannot abide My tongue, my nails, the butcher's knife The wound/listen My rage showed my worth information, telling, harness Wolf energy Wild on the page Breathing past Escapee Blood jumps back/heroically Cook... Continue reading
Posted Aug 27, 2020 at LOVER
Posted Aug 24, 2020 at LOVER
Posted Aug 23, 2020 at LOVER
Dear Council and Mayor Cantrell: I just found out about the City's proposed 75% budget cut to our public libraries. While Mayor Cantrell has been threatening to do this since the pandemic, I'm shocked there hasn't been more transparency about this vote today. Public libraries are CRITICAL to our community's health and well-being - as much as the USPS and more than a militarized police - yet here they are on your chopping block. I'm appalled that our Mayor and City Council think this is good management, and I demand the library's funding not be cut and that our millage... Continue reading
Posted Aug 18, 2020 at LOVER
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For decades, I’ve mourned and processed my traumas of domestic violence, sexual assault, suicide, addiction, chronic illness, death. And one could say my life – every little thing I've done with it – is an expression of my undying love for the world, a deep faith that somewhere there's freedom, with people who truly accept and respect each other. All I've ever really wanted is to be part of something bigger than me, community, family. The experience of being so sick with Covid, and having you surround me with so much devotion and care, tells me I am. In trauma... Continue reading
Posted Aug 16, 2020 at LOVER
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Healing from Covid takes everything I've got, food & herbal medicine are my foundation. thank god for my Care Circle keeping my pantry stocked & when I'm too sick to even boil rice, they cook/buy yummy food that meets all my needs, driving thru all weathers & their own struggles to nourish me. I'm deeply humbled in gratitude 🏵🌸🏵 there's no way I could do this without them 🌸🏵🌸 (they also take care of my laundry, medical & pet supplies, daily check ins, and much needed random treats. They don't make me work for anything - they hear me, respect... Continue reading
Posted Aug 3, 2020 at LOVER
offer sexual assault survivors a real path Continue reading
Posted Aug 3, 2020 at LOVER
Posted Jul 16, 2020 at LOVER
Fat shaming runs SO deep. All this "quaran15" mock horror about extra lbs you may have picked up 🤮 Your body is surviving a freaking pandemic! STOP WITH THE DYSMORPHIC LANGUAGE. It's violence. I promise, the people who died fighting Covid would love to switch places with you. Any new weight I now carry because I've been so sick with Covid that I literally can't move is a CROWN. I'M ALIVE! if you're so mortified by your privilege of wellness, what am I supposed to be, what is anyone who doesn't fit into these (narrow) conscripted ideas of what is... Continue reading
Posted Jul 10, 2020 at LOVER
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Surprise arrival today from City Lights, my wish list dream! This is community being in circles. I am loved. Continue reading
Posted Jun 23, 2020 at LOVER
Welcome to my world. One day you have some hope, the next your symptoms roar back in. Covid defies dominant linear paradigms, and asks us to stay in "unknowing". This virus is non-binary. And in the face of it, please watch how you pathologize the 'sick', just because we don't fit into traditional hierarchies of 'wellness'. And resist the urge to slip into weaponizing recovery- I'm not "beating" Covid, I'm surrendered to it. It's the lived paradox of powerlessness, enduring this tragedy that's rooted in & activating real trauma. I'm a furnace and can manage the flames. A life of... Continue reading
Posted Jun 12, 2020 at LOVER