What you described sounds like a hubcap from a 1976 Oldsmobile.

Re: Mosquitos -- after the Treasury sucks all the blood out of me, the virus and parasite bearing mosquitoes will be disappointed to find just a dry husk left behind.

Re: $8,200 ping-pong table: My $50 ping-pong table currently has a dead computer, Christmas lights, lawn mower parts, and unfolded laundry on it.

As a middle aged, cis/hetero white male of Northern European origin (can one imagine any more strikes against me?!?), I am completely beyond having this explained to me, so don't bother

Here's a more vegan friendly alternate scenario: George happens upon a head of lettuce that fell off the back of a delivery lorry and was subsequently run over by the next car that followed.

Fortunes can change on a dime. We forget the most highly capitalized corporation in history teetered - within a few more disappointing quarters - from bankruptcy in the late 90's, until Steve Jobs introduced the iMac, which was Apple Corporation's Battle of Midway moment. Around then, it was hip, counterculture and cool to own a Mac, David to Microsoft's Goliath. Public school systems single handedly kept the AAPL brand alive by buying truckloads of them at a time and scattering them in classrooms like snowflakes. My daughter's very first computer printout(awwwww!) from kindergarten class in 1990 came from a Mac or Mac II, can't remember. As she grew older and the school's computers upgraded through time, she graduated never touching a machine from another manufacturer - Apple all the way. This was the typical experience of virtually every child her age born in the mid 80's, at least in our geographic area. Its been years, of course, since Apple depended on the noblesse oblige of public education to keep them afloat, but one wonders if the long-game strategy of putting a generation of Millenials behind Apple keyboards contributed to the corporation's explosion as they in turn became young buyers in the open market. After all, brand loyalty works in beer and cigarettes, why not CPU's? Or, am I reading too much into it?

" “The likelihood is that I’ll find myself in a day job,” complained Sydney’s Luke Devine." It is sad to witness the man who could have bequeathed to the world the next Cezanne will instead be folding tee-shirts for 9 dollars an hour. Societies' loss.

It would be inhumane to airily dismiss self-flagellating leftists like DeBoer and say, "let them eat cake"... ...because their gluten-free, Certified Organic, Fair-Trade cakes taste like roof shingles. I know because I've had one, or at least a bite of one.

I take umbrage at your sarcastic observation of the two young ladies who beat themselves with pillows as roadside theatre. I beat myself with pillows every time the Chicago Bears lose yet another game to the Green Bay Packers, with three major differences: 1)I do it in the privacy of my living room 2)I don't expect private funding for doing it 3)I use couch throw cushions instead of pillows ... but I am splitting hairs here. I also might add the performance could have been shortened from 90 minutes to 90 seconds if they used a pillowcase full of golf balls instead.