Girls wear boots just to make their feet stink Because what good is being pretty Without having vomit-inducing smelly feet? Philosophers debate the size of her ass from space, but she looks just like a sinking ship to me— Wagner holds that Jews are unable to speak European languages properly... Continue reading

Jesus and Hitler were artists— Unlike, say, Michelangelo and Picasso, Both talking themselves out of existence Into immortality through creation and destruction— Of the world, into immortality using words Like a poet or actor but drawing pictures In the sand or blueprints, or fashion: Uniforms, sandals, boots, loincloths and cloaks—... Continue reading

I was drinking hot sake until I felt green. My insides churned like factory works, striking labor and all. I swallowed two gangbusters and tried to reinvent myself sober. This was a long one-night stand and she’d stayed in the ladies room for half an hour. I relented to drinking... Continue reading

Judas was in his office sitting down with Satan over cognac and cigars, and said, “So he really thought you were setting up a meting between him and the Arab?” “Sure he did. He may be the King of Kings, but I’m the Prince of Lies, ain’t I?” “Yeh. That... Continue reading

I’ll put your dirty feet in my mouth every day After you’ve tracked mud into the house— I’ll chew the peeling skin off your calloused bunions, And sniff you like glue when you smell like onions, If you were an astronaut You would smell just as sweet like deep space... Continue reading

The flashbulbs didn’t fade as she lay bloodied from her stiff blonde head to her stiletto heels; lifeless limbs flung out at her sides, as pink in death as she had been in life, the spark extinguished by a single shot from among the crowd. The guy had been waiting... Continue reading

If I had to look at my secretary’s flat ass any more that day, I was going to start shooting at it. My partner had hired her and then gone and gotten himself shot by a babe with a pistol. He didn’t look so good. His central heating was replaced... Continue reading

Anyone who loves Paris Hilton needs to read this book http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/the-man-who-shot-paris-hilton/2525625 Continue reading