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Elayne Savage, PhD
San Francisco Bay Area
http://www.QueenofRejection.com/about_personal.htm http://www.QueenofRejection.com/about.htm
Recent Activity
Let me know how it turns out for you . . . Elayne
Yes I so clearly these happenings and how scary and chaotic and unsafe the world around me felt. Exatly how I felt during January 6th.
Yes! Marcia was definitely one of my Angels – and for so many other students too. Thanks Caryn for your response ...
I wish you could have experienced her when we were at Central High together. Thanks for your memories of that time . . .
Thanks for posting, I was hoping this piece would have exactly that effect –– and it seems it does! Hoping that teachers and school administrators will share with colleagues. Whenever I am presenting training programs to teachers they come up to me at a break and want me to repeat exactly what Marcia Blacker had said to me when when she asked me to stay after class. In case they someday want to approach their own students.
Therapist's Manifesto July 2016 Trumpism is an ideology, not an individual, and it may well endure and grow after the Presidential election even if Donald Trump is defeated. (Variants can be seen all over Europe.) Trumpism is a set of ideas about public life and a set of public practices... Continue reading
Posted Nov 29, 2020 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
Try to make sure you are not ‘filling in the blanks.’ This is not easy, but finding the words to check things out so you don’t dwell on them is usually a good plan. Also to check with yourself how much of this might be reciprocal. If you think someone thinks a certain way about you and without being aware, your demeanor or attitude or tone reflects that negativity right back to them.
Great idea to blog more about how our experiences of earlier losses could be affecting our coping with isolation. . . and uncertainly.
Thanks, for your comments - just when I was thinking I was putting myself out on a limb it feels really good to be validated.
This was a part of Congresswoman Jackie Speier's response to my original June post: When a Parent Goes Missing- – Bouncing From Security to Despair – Even Exploitation http://bit.ly/2tJoh2i I think it is just as relevant now, maybe more so. Jackie Speier Congress of the United States House of Representatives August 15, 2018 Thank you for the article, as difficult as it was to read. The President is committing child abuse and the abuse is ongoing. Even now and in violation of of prior court decisions, the administration is incarcerating children for extended periods of time with their parents. This also traumatizes.... Thank you again for explaining how Presidentially-inflicted child abuse may scar many of these children for life. Regrettably the article was right on the mark. Jackie Speier
This is part of Congresswoman Congresswoman Jackie Speier's response to this post: Jackie Speier Congress of the United States House of Representatives August 15, 2018 Thank you for the article, as difficult as it was to read. The President is committing child abuse and the abuse is ongoing. Even now and in violation of of prior court decisions, the administration is incarcerating children for extended periods of time with their parents. This also traumatizes. . . . Thank you again for explaining how Presidentially-inflicted child abuse may scar many of these children for life. Regrettably the article was right on the mark. Jackie Speier
I agree there is much to write about how generational messages influence our workplace relationships. Look for this blog in January.
Thanks to all for the encouragement and feedback on this blog. I wish s days go by I could feel more assured, however, I only feel more and more alarmed. Today the government reported they were only able to reunite a handful of the 100++ under 5 years old children by today's deadline. Elayne
By Elayne Savage, PhD One of the most damaging ‘dirty little secrets’ of "Blended Families" is the unrealistic expectation that there will be a seamless “blending.’ These expectations are a set-up for hurtful misunderstandings and disappointments. Feelings get hurt. Someone feels rejected and takes something personally. And these hurts can... Continue reading
Posted Dec 19, 2017 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
By Elayne Savage, PhD I don't remember much about my high school years. I was pretty much a mess after my mother and grandmother died. I went through the motions of classes, friends, activities. And yet each day was a re-creation of the blur of the day before. I felt... Continue reading
Posted Sep 6, 2017 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
By Elayne Savage, Ph.D. It happens so fast. All it takes is a wilting look, an insulting tone of voice, or a raised eyebrow. You find yourself taking it personally and your knee-jerk response seems all out of proportion to the event itself. You wonder, "Where on earth did that... Continue reading
Posted Sep 5, 2017 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
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By Elayne Savage, PhD A driver comes from out of nowhere, slows down to a crawl, cuts you off, tailgates, or flashes their lights. It feels like an invasion of your personal space. Words or obscene gestures are exchanged, It starts getting out of hand. Before you know it you’re... Continue reading
Posted Sep 5, 2017 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
So glad my passion for this subject came across! Still crossing my fingers for some integrity here.
Thanks Ernestine. You sure know what it's like. They really do become family members. Elayne
Thanks, Roberta for recognizing my intent to "have a conversation" with the readers!
Thanks to each of you for responding and for your support. It's amazing to me how it's so clear how misogynistic folks just don't "get it." What blind spots they have!
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A "Diss" List of ways we feel disrespected Continue reading
Posted Aug 4, 2016 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
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Personal boundaries are about respecting the personal space, feelings and ideas of others. This useful overview includes descriptions, examples and tips for navigating boundary confusion. Continue reading
Posted Jun 4, 2016 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
If our impressions are discounted often, we learn to discount ourselves as well. Sometimes we begin to doubt our own perceptions and stop trusting ourselves Continue reading
Posted May 29, 2016 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips
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My grandmother was the Trading Post Lady of 7th and L Streets in SE Washington, DC. She was also the Listening Post Lady because her corner grocery store was the hub of the neighborhood - and besides, she had the only telephone phone in those days. Continue reading
Posted Mar 27, 2016 at Elayne Savage's Communication Tips