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emotionaldetective

Los Angeles, CA

Dr. Meyer has worked in private practice in West Los Angeles for over 25 years, and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at UCLA. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from UCLA and her B.A. from Oberlin College.

Interests: psychology, emotions, unconscious processes

Recent Activity

Welcome to the Emotional Detective

A Mindful Approach to Self Analysis Emotions are potent, meaningful signals that advise you what to do. They are easily masked and can then become confusing. You become confused about how you feel and, therefore, what you want. Life improves in surprising ways when you better understand your emotions. In... Continue reading

Posted Nov 9, 2020 at Emotional Detective

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Habitual Negativity

The fourth in a series on Habits. What is Habitual Negativity? Mental habits shape our perspective and feelings – for better or worse. If you identify as a pessimist, you may often find yourself subject to negative thought patterns, otherwise known as habitual negativity. Although seemingly accepted in society (think... Continue reading

Posted Mar 19, 2013 at Emotional Detective

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Looking Inward: Mental Habits

The third in a series on Habits. When considering our habits, we usually think of overt behaviors like exercise, eating well, or keeping clean. Yet there are tons of covert habits going on inside our minds and bodies that are worthy of our attention. To better understand what goes on... Continue reading

Posted Feb 26, 2013 at Emotional Detective

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Keystone Habits are Energy Efficient

The second in a series on Habits. Regular habits fuel our appearance, relationships, work ethic, health and countless other aspects of our lives. As William James eloquently observed, habits are a “system of reflex paths, so organized as to wake each other up successively.” These mighty motivators can propel us... Continue reading

Posted Feb 12, 2013 at Emotional Detective

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Commented Feb 11, 2013 on Featured Blog: The Conscious Kitchen at Everything Typepad

1 reply

Habits are Mightier than You Think

The first in a series on Habits “But the fact is that our virtues are habits as much as our vices. All our life, so far as it has definite form, is but a mass of habits,—practical, emotional, and intellectual, — systematically organized for our weal or woe, and bearing... Continue reading

Posted Feb 5, 2013 at Emotional Detective

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Using Reason Shrewdly

The final segment in a series on Reason. Happy New Year! The new year is always bursting with aspirations, but somehow, as January settles in, it can become challenging to stick to your resolutions. Luckily, we each have reason as a loyal ally to help us achieve our goals. Our... Continue reading

Posted Jan 22, 2013 at Emotional Detective

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Shopping Perils: Know Your Adversary

A recent article from the NY Times (Dec. 9th) reveals how commercial interests exploit the limits of your willpower, to their own advantage. This article outlines ways that commercial retailers try to drain your mental energy, so you will have less self-restraint and spend more money. Even though stores have... Continue reading

Posted Dec 19, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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Recharging Reason

This is the sixth segment in a series on Reason Mental gadgets like logic, decision-making, planning, and willpower produce truly amazing results, but are by no means infallible. Sometimes we can’t access reason's mental devises, no matter how much we need them (like when we are physically tired, angry or... Continue reading

Posted Dec 10, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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Draining Willpower and Reason

This is the fifth segment in a series on Reason We all spend A LOT of time (and energy) trying to control ourselves. A recent study suggests that we spend nearly one-fifth of our waking time resisting compelling impulses. That's 3-4 hours a day! We often waste unnecessary mental energy... Continue reading

Posted Dec 3, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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Self Control: Reason’s Strength

This is the fourth segment in a series on Reason "If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins" - Benjamin Franklin We are all constantly bombarded by inner impulses, automatic reactions to events going on around - and inside - us. Every day, our three aspects initiate loads of... Continue reading

Posted Nov 20, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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Logic – Reason’s Undercover Superpower

This is the third segment in a series on Reason "The ideal reasoner would, when he has once been shown a single fact in all its bearing, deduce from it not only all the chain of events which led up to it, but also all the results which would follow... Continue reading

Posted Nov 13, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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This is the second segment in a series on Reason It's stressful to feel like you must always be right. And it is unrealistic, too. Our fear of “what if’s” can keep us up at night with worry, and come back to haunt us during the day. Decisions are hard.... Continue reading

Posted Oct 18, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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Your Best Servant: Reason

This is the first segment in a series on Reason “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” Albert Einstein Every time you make a choice, you pick one... Continue reading

Posted Oct 10, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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Intuitive decisions - whether reaching for a glass of water, giving money to a homeless person or choosing a partner - are automatic. We don’t think, we don’t calculate, we don’t reason. These so-called "decisions" feel as though they "happen" to us. Such gut feelings can lead us in the... Continue reading

Posted Oct 2, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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Inner Conflicts - Which Aspect Prevails?

National Public Radio reported a story this morning that sheds light on how our social and reasonable aspects can make very different moral decisions. Apparently, when faced with emotionally compelling visual images, your social aspect is likely to prevail over your reason. Social Aspect holds a lot of sway As... Continue reading

Posted Sep 20, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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This is the final segment in a five part series on Anger. The ancient Roman philosopher Seneca wrote that "The best remedy for anger is time." I couldn't agree more. But sometimes, the urge to express your anger is so strong that you can't resist giving into a little explosion.... Continue reading

Posted Sep 4, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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Turning Anger Inward

This is the fourth segment in a five-part series on Anger. While it is easy to blame others when your expectations are not met, it is even easier to blame yourself. Getting angry with yourself can be a punishing experience. And if your personal standards are unrealistically high, you may... Continue reading

Posted Aug 23, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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Using Anger Wisely

Part three in a five-part series on Anger When anger boils to the surface we feel bold, energetic and strong. Our fists tighten with blood pumping and adrenaline surging -- we are ready to attack! While extreme anger makes us feel "high," it impairs our judgement, foresight and self-control. Is... Continue reading

Posted Aug 13, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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The Wrecking Ball of Rage

Part two in a five-part series on Anger What makes anger so powerful? Of course, anger carries with it the impulse to attack, destroy, and retaliate. While these hallmarks of anger are often allies to power, they are not the only reason for anger’s might. Another, less obvious source of... Continue reading

Posted Jul 30, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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Misunderstood Anger

This is the first segment in a five-part series on Anger. These days, anger has acquired a bad rap. Warnings about its dangers and downside abound, while tips on how to manage this powerful emotion proliferate: “Never drive angry.” “Don’t go to bed mad.” “Just walk away.” In my experience,... Continue reading

Posted Jul 18, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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Swimming Out of Oblivion

This is third post in a three part series on Feelings Forces that we are unaware of - especially emotional forces - can influence lives in surprising ways. I first encountered this fish joke when reading David Foster Wallace's Commencement Speech. While you may have heard this joke before, I... Continue reading

Posted Jun 12, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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Although I haven't posted in a while, I've been working hard behind the scenes. This week I am giving a talk at the YWCA in Santa Monica from 6pm - 8pm. The topic is familiar to you all -- The Emotional Detective: A Method for Investigating and Deciphering Feelings. If... Continue reading

Posted Jun 11, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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This is the second of a three part series on Feelings Many people intuitively understand that over-the-top, sentimental expressions of feeling paradoxically indicate a certain lack of feeling. The “unemotional” friend who always cries at sappy movies or the relative who dismisses human suffering while lavishing attention on animals are... Continue reading

Posted May 14, 2012 at Emotional Detective

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