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Fenian2153
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I worked at an L.L. Bean retail location in Maryland for several years. A gentleman returned a coat that was held together with duct tape(!); we gave him a gift card. Every year, teenage girls would return slippers that are meant for indoor use only. Of course they wore them outdoors every day. They would receive brand-new ones. When the store announced it was closing, people brought ten-year old deck furniture back saying it was “defective”.
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I HATE when old folks (or anyone) pulls that! He just KNEW if he raised some hell, he was going to get that screen for free. Congratulations to you and your boss for standing up to Grampy Dampdrawers.
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Don't forget the ever-popular "Here's a photo of my ID on my phone"!
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Anytime, ANYBODY comes into the store with a baby stroller and I don't see an actual baby IN it, I assume they're here to steal.
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Reminds me of an old stand-up bit: "She threw the ring at me. I threw it at the jeweler. He threw me a certified check for $10,000. I threw it in the bank. End of story.
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In other words, they're the kind of assholes who like to come in at closing.
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At Gord & Raylor (ahem) a customer picked up a decorative two foot tall glass vase filled with glass marbles and pieces of driftwood. She was halfway to the register when I gently informed her it wasn't for sale. "EVERYTHING is for sale, honey," she said.
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No. 1) Customer is 30 feet from GIGANTIC exit from our store into the mall. Other shops are PLAINLY VISIBLE from where she's standing. "How do I get into the mall from here?" No. 2) Customer has phoned our store to place a large order. "Can I pay with cash?" (She actually thought we'd send the merch for her approval and she'd mail us cash sometime later!) No. 3) Our store had about 20 kayaks attached to the front, back, sides and CEILING. Customer: "Do y'all sell kayaks?" (Yes, he was completely serious.)
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I worked for a courier company in DC years ago. They sent me to a really bad neighborhood, but I thought it would be okay. The homeowner pulled a gun on me and told me to leave him alone. I radioed the boss, who told me to go back. I politely declined.
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Well, well, well! I was completely unaware trees could accept Jesus as their personal Savior.
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Hell, even convicts have their meals assembled!
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...and if he wasn't going to use it to cut a LOT of heroin, it'd be funny.
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These fucktards know exactly what they're doing. They've done it again and again and feign ignorance every time. "First comes shock, then anger..."
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The company I used to work for required each employee to individually recite all 10 paragraphs of The Mission Statement. Any mistake and you had to start over from the beginning. One of the older guys told the boss, "I'm not a goddamned parrot! Here's my keys. I quit!"
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Non-computer literate people are the best, aren't they? Sounds like she might have been fishing for government-issued spyware.
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Once had a regional manager complain, "This column just RUINS the sight lines for the new display!" Without missing a beat, the store manager said, "Well we can move the column, but it'll make the roof collapse. Your call."
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I'd always ask for their business card. When they asked, "What for?", I'd remind them that impersonating a lawyer is a crime. "But if you're a lawyer, you KNOW that"!
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Did you ever hear of "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's"?
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"Might I suggest you start using condoms. That way, you won't create any more children you can scapegoat for your own shortcomings. Have a nice day!"
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Dec 15, 2014