meet rags.. http://brensgumbyland.com/rags.html (sound up!) out & about ~ https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/i_love_portland/starwars-store.html have a holly jolly xmas ~ https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/i_love_portland/abominable.html

painting again despite the cold, or maybe because of it?.. eremocene ~ https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/eremocene/ i'm still experiencing ehs.. :o oh yeah & this: https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/friendlyghoststuff/ds2-expulsion-chamber.html

rainy day here in pdx too, & i'm in my eyeore pjs most of the time..lol i remember RIF! toxic was a bookworm, our favorite day was the scholastic book fair when we could order books for .30 & .40 cents & wait for them to arrive :D yeah, i saw pix of that carousel online, we have ridden every one within our reach, or videotaped/photo'd at least, especially the really old ones.. this version of the rey book is even more kid friendly, thought you'd like to know for your students? yay, emma's back!

last night i had a long drawn out bad dream that i was lost.. i had followed mr dad in one car as he drove ahead in his car through city streets, but he got too far ahead & i lost sight of him, & after awhile i figured i'd better turn back.. i didn't know where i was & somehow now i was on foot, sometimes walking sketchy backstreets, sometimes running along muddy backroads & trails with trees & roots.. at some point there were hamsters, i have no idea why..? anyway, once i finally woke up from this one i laid there experiencing something i've gotten here & there over the years, these odd jarring loud noises in my brain.. people call it exploding head syndrome.. great. another weird fucking symptom. that's just great. it's nice & cold & rainy & gets dark so early, for some reason winter is comforting to me, always has been.. mr dad & i have made progress on the mystery house, & it now has a proper name ~ https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/i_love_portland/mystery-house-painting-x.html i'm worried most of the time about our last 2 old lady kitties, they are almost 18 years old & have both been sick with their ongoing issues, we tend to lose kitties in the winter.. i used to say all songs were about boopy (the tabby we lost last year) & i must've been right, because i'm a bit of a basketcase when certain music plays, i think of her, of sweet frail sabrina, of miette, my fluffy daughter tabitha, & our little angel, miss pickles.. as a child i was protected by dissociation so much of the time, & i experience it as such an indescribably beautiful, cold, silent, dark place, like my old snowcave i used to talk about here.. but it disconnected me from so much, all the kitties i lost back then, any feelings i had about all the trauma of home.. alot went underground in me, & resulted in my one great weakness, which is that i can't talk about art or music, poetry or song lyrics, without crying.. i try, but it's just like such things hold all my emotions in some potent concentrated infj form.. i love christmas music, so it's the hardest for me, toxic was one of 3 high sopranos in the school choir & loved going caroling, playing carols on the piano or organ, or on guitar with cathy teaching us.. ours was a very music oriented home, my mom sang, we all played instruments, anyway, music & art are where i'm all connected, it's like a secret language.. talking about song lyrics or poetry can reduce me to bawling just like snoopy on shroeder's piano.. lol the ave maria is my greatest challenge.. so strange i know, for someone who is typically so quiet & reserved around others, it was actually frustrating in my years of therapy to be so involuntarily disconnected around people, it's why i'm such a recluse anymore.. i'm safe alone & get to be present. it's lonely, but i love the isolation anyway. i have such a cool life & i appreciate it so much, i count my blessings every day. my only fear is that due to this my ghost gallery will be for naught, that no one else will fathom all that is there, that it will never be truly shared. over the years apple has stolen away the music so as to get you to pay for it through itunes it seems. i'm oldschool & my old laptop browser plays all the sound, it's essential as the music is integral to the art. but it just feels like it will not have mattered. you know, all my work lost & for naught.. this is too hard for me to bear, but the way it's always been.. it is truly a ghost gallery ~ http://brensgumbyland.com/warning1.htm i hope we get snow soon.. ghost/bren