@Robb: thanks for sharing that quote - relevant in many ways to the relationship we had with JoJo. Perhaps that belief and trust is another element to add to my evolving pet theory on pet therapy.

@Robb: I'm very glad to read that increased focus and decreased defensiveness have reduced some barriers between you and your son. My son will sometimes remind me to "Breathe, Dad" when I start getting worked up during a discussion with him, which - when I'm not in a state of high defensiveness - helps refocus the interaction. I hope you enjoy your journey into the mountains with him. FWIW, I just finished my 5th reading of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and Robert Pirsig's relationship with his son, Chris - in the context of navigating metaphorical and physical mountains - will be the subject of a future blog post.

@LH: Wise words, indeed. I am fortunate to have friends - like you - who have helped fill some gaps in modeling the kind of father I want to be with my children.

@Robb: thanks for sharing your story. I can relate to the hard work of stripping myself down in the process of determining how best to be a constructive father to a son who does not always act or react in ways I would prefer. The stripping down is necessary, in part, because my son knows me so well ... a consequence, perhaps, of my desire to be as open and honest as possible with him. I am glad you are making evolutionary progress with your own parenting. I'm reminded of Stephen Jay Gould's notion of punctuated equilibrium - periods of relative stasis, punctuated by bursts of rapid change - which is how I would characterize my own experience in parenting ... and I would not be surprised if that is how my own parents would characterize their experience.

@Scott: thanks for the [additional] encouragement. The courage and vulnerability that you and John Hagel demonstrated in revealing some of the challenges you've faced played a big role in giving me implicit permission to publicly process a fragment of my family of origin issues. Your observation about not being alone reminds me of another one of the benefits I gleaned from 12-step programs. Even though the specific manifestations of addiction and other harmful behaviors vary across several spectra, there are significant similarities in their effects on loved ones (especially children). As Carl Rogers noted, "what is most personal is most general". I look forward to reading more about what you write about fathers and children!

@Michele: Thanks for the recommendation of hypochlorhydria (aka achlorhydria) as a potential diagnosis and Acerola (aka malpighia emarginata) as a potential treatment that may be consistent with these symptoms.

I am further inspired by your expanded personal narrative here. In your last post, I was uncomfortable with the question "How could others help me to achieve even more impact and what's in it for them?", as I interpreted this as being somewhat narrowly cast as a call to leadership [of others]. Through the further details you've shared here, and re-reading your earlier post, I now see this as more of a call to interconnectedness: how can we help each other address our respective needs in ways that are mutually supportive ... a theme I find more resonant (so perhaps this is simply a projection). I share your belief in the power of personal narratives, or as I sometimes think of them, the stories we make up about ourselves, and yet I've been languishing between stories for a while now. Your two recent posts are motivating me to re-engage in more personal reflection, with an enlarged perspective ... an edge perspective, perhaps. Thank you for that.

@Natalie: thanks for your kind words. It does seem that the ability and willingness to consciously direct focus toward - or away from - certain things is a valuable asset on the journey. Best wishes on your own journey!

I am grateful for the openness and vulnerability you've embraced in sharing your early personal narrative. I can relate to retreating into my mind, and disengaging from my emotions, in response to the challenges of growing up in a dysfunctional family. I can also relate to becoming focused on others' needs and wants, to the exclusion of my own. I find your current narrative personally inspiring, and your invitation to reflect on - and possibly change - one's narrative is deeply resonant. However, I also see a projection bias here - one that is often reflected in the narratives of those who have achieved a measure of success - which I would articulate as "I did it, so you can do it, too". The projection bias I see in - or project onto - your current narrative involves leadership, and specifically, leadership of others. In my own experience of the dance of leadership, I find that there are times and places where I am inspired to lead others, and other times and places where I am willing to be lead by others. I have experienced good leadership and bad leadership (in myself and others). I have also worked with people who do not appear to have any aspirations toward leadership (of others), and while I believe we should all take responsibility for leading ourselves, I'm not convinced that everyone should (or can effectively) lead others. My concern about making leadership of others a criterion in composing a personal narrative is that it may not work for everyone ... but perhaps everyone is not your intended audience. In any event, thanks for yet another thoughtful and provocative post.

@Laura: figuring out digestive issues can be quite the odyssey. Thanks for sharing some of your experience here, and best wishes as you continue your journey.