thank you both so much for your support with my poetry. I have been studying at a place for so long that seems to suppress my creativity in so many ways and i've used PTL as a way of breaking back out and gaining confidence with my own creativity again. You two have been so wonderful and so important in helping me out of that shell. Thank you!!! xoxo

yeah i am mesmerized by water too - i'm a rower :) I used to wake up at 4 am and go to practice and we would come around this bend in the river an hour into our workout and the sun would be rising over a mountain top. The sun would just hit the back of my neck and warm me to my core because it was always so cold outside and it was so breathtakingly beautiful. I miss that river so much but that's what i think about whenever I see a sunrise.

You know Amy, your post has stuck with me and I am using the belief that he felt peace to comfort me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your post. I just keep hoping and praying that he felt peace and freedom and relief as he fell. That he had no regrets. Thank you for your comment. Your openness and honesty has brought me comfort and I really appreciate it. To everyone - than you so much for all your support and thoughts and prayers. I don't feel alone going through this and I know that is in large part because of all your love. Thanks so much. I can't tell you how much you all mean to me. xoxoxo all my love Hayden

thank you so much for all your support. I couldn't get through this without you all. all my love to you all.

Thanks for your support. The only peace I can find is to remind myself that he isn't hurting anymore, that he is free of whatever torture he endured and hid from us all. xxoxo