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Howard from Broward
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We were promised flying cars.
At least they're just users, not dealers.
Do they get together after work and make baby robots?
She should vault a Hungarian, they're smaller.
"The company offers special instructions for cleaning real dirt off the shoes...without harming the faux-dirt." Yeah, I was worried about that.
Toggle Commented Mar 25, 2019 on ATTENTION, IDIOTS: at Dave Barry's Blog
Does my pharmacy carry the prep for this?
Toggle Commented Mar 17, 2019 on GET READY at Dave Barry's Blog
Is it just me or does 'gherkin juice' sound nasty?
Toggle Commented Feb 24, 2019 on GUYS IN ACTION DOWN UNDER at Dave Barry's Blog
"...the pariah state's starving population is expected to hand over an unbelievable 100kg of human excrement EVERY DAY." Um...that's 220lbs a day. I don't think so. As the excrement head in Washington might say, FAKE NEWS.
We're gonna need a bigger smoker.
All the best, Dave. And Sophie. And Michelle.
Toggle Commented Oct 1, 2018 on HELLO AGAIN at Dave Barry's Blog
All your base are belong to us.
Toggle Commented Sep 2, 2018 on JAPAN at Dave Barry's Blog
Costco: Chuck E. Cheese's for geezers.
Toggle Commented Aug 1, 2018 on SENIOR GUYS IN ACTION at Dave Barry's Blog
Dave: If you sleep under the bed you'll have roaches climbing all over you. It's a no-win situation. Ranald: If you didn't tell your mother-in-law she's only going to come back.
We know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two. Bum ba dum bum bum bum bum.
Toggle Commented Jun 28, 2018 on 'IDIOT' IS TOO KIND at Dave Barry's Blog
It explains why my wife gets a hundred bites to my one. I'm not making this up.
Toggle Commented Jun 20, 2018 on HOW IS THIS HELPFUL? at Dave Barry's Blog
Gas City: Land of soap and glory.
Toggle Commented Jun 13, 2018 on STAND TALL, GAS CITY at Dave Barry's Blog
Send them to Washington. Oh, wait...we've already done that.
Send it to Washington. Oh, wait...we already did.
Toggle Commented May 31, 2018 on HEY, IT GOT INTO LAW SCHOOL at Dave Barry's Blog
I've been on that 19-hour flight! Oh, was LGA to FLL, but there was traffic.
Toggle Commented May 1, 2018 on PASS at Dave Barry's Blog
The end of civilization as we know it.
To Dave and family: Sorry to learn of your loss. Please accept our condolences and our wish for happier times to come.
Toggle Commented Apr 9, 2018 on ABOUT THE LACK OF POSTING at Dave Barry's Blog
"Rogers hails from the Potomac Valley Track Club and placed first in the age 100-104 category. He clocked a time of 19.13." Big deal. I can do 60 meters in under 19 minutes.
Don't ya just hate it when that happens?
Toggle Commented Mar 15, 2018 on GUESS THE AIRLINE at Dave Barry's Blog
Coulda been worse, at least it wasn't real beer.
Toggle Commented Mar 8, 2018 on NOOOOOOOOOOO at Dave Barry's Blog
Count me as one Bronx boy who wishes he had gone into law instead of engineering.
Toggle Commented Feb 28, 2018 on A FUN WORKPLACE at Dave Barry's Blog