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Howard from Broward
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We were promised flying cars.
Commented Jun 12, 2019 on WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME at Dave Barry's Blog
WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME
Miller Lite beer can is also a video game controller (Thanks to Hayseed Tom)
At least they're just users, not dealers.
Commented May 2, 2019 on WHICH IS WHY THEY'RE SO TWITCHY at Dave Barry's Blog
WHICH IS WHY THEY'RE SO TWITCHY
Cocaine found in shrimp (Thanks to pharmaross, A Wheeler, pokerplayer and Howard from Broward)
Do they get together after work and make baby robots?
Commented Mar 31, 2019 on WE HATE TO KEEP BRINGING UP THE FLYING CARS WE WERE PROMISED, BUT... at Dave Barry's Blog
WE HATE TO KEEP BRINGING UP THE FLYING CARS WE WERE PROMISED, BUT...
Boston Dynamics’ latest robot is a mechanical ostrich that loads pallets (Thanks to Matt Filar)
She should vault a Hungarian, they're smaller.
Commented Mar 25, 2019 on WHILE SOME OF US STRUGGLE TO PICK UP THE NEWSPAPER at Dave Barry's Blog
WHILE SOME OF US STRUGGLE TO PICK UP THE NEWSPAPER
Vermont woman, 84, heading to Poland to compete in pole-vaulting championship (Thanks to Hayseed Tom, we think)
"The company offers special instructions for cleaning real dirt off the shoes...without harming the faux-dirt."
Yeah, I was worried about that.
Commented Mar 25, 2019 on ATTENTION, IDIOTS: at Dave Barry's Blog
ATTENTION, IDIOTS:
Gucci selling $870 sneakers designed to look dirty (Thanks to pharmaross)
Does my pharmacy carry the prep for this?
Commented Mar 17, 2019 on GET READY at Dave Barry's Blog
GET READY
NASA are going to probe deeper into Uranus than they ever have before. (Thanks to pharmaross)
Is it just me or does 'gherkin juice' sound nasty?
Commented Feb 24, 2019 on GUYS IN ACTION DOWN UNDER at Dave Barry's Blog
GUYS IN ACTION DOWN UNDER
Perth man superglued butt to counter, uses gherkin juice to free himself (Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)
"...the pariah state's starving population is expected to hand over an unbelievable 100kg of human excrement EVERY DAY."
Um...that's 220lbs a day. I don't think so. As the excrement head in Washington might say, FAKE NEWS.
Commented Jan 30, 2019 on BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE CONGRESS at Dave Barry's Blog
BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE CONGRESS
Kim Jong-un demands every citizen hand over huge piles of human poo as North Korea faces fertilizer crisis (Thanks to pharmaross)
We're gonna need a bigger smoker.
Commented Dec 19, 2018 on IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA SCHOOL-BUS-DRIVER'S LICENSE at Dave Barry's Blog
IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA SCHOOL-BUS-DRIVER'S LICENSE
400-pound hog captured in Palm Bay near school bus stop (Thanks to pharmaross)
All the best, Dave. And Sophie. And Michelle.
Commented Oct 1, 2018 on HELLO AGAIN at Dave Barry's Blog
HELLO AGAIN
I’d like to explain why I haven’t been posting here, and why I hope to be back soon. On August 18, my daughter, Sophie, who was getting ready to start college, developed a sudden and severe autoimmune disorder. She was hospitalized in the Critical Care unit, and began an aggressive course of tre...
All your base are belong to us.
Commented Sep 2, 2018 on JAPAN at Dave Barry's Blog
JAPAN
Resistance is futile? (Thanks to Mark Schlesinger and Michael Kelly)
Costco: Chuck E. Cheese's for geezers.
Commented Aug 1, 2018 on SENIOR GUYS IN ACTION at Dave Barry's Blog
SENIOR GUYS IN ACTION
The samples at Costco were free. Two men in their 70s got into a fight over them, SC police say Hey, it was free cheese. (Thanks to Todd Lawson and Roberto)
Dave: If you sleep under the bed you'll have roaches climbing all over you. It's a no-win situation.
Ranald: If you didn't tell your mother-in-law she's only going to come back.
Commented Jul 15, 2018 on WHY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SLEEP *UNDER* THE BED at Dave Barry's Blog
WHY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SLEEP *UNDER* THE BED
6-Foot-Long Boa Constrictor Falls From Ceiling, Lands on Sleeping NY Man (Thanks to Kevin Smith)
We know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two. Bum ba dum bum bum bum bum.
Commented Jun 28, 2018 on 'IDIOT' IS TOO KIND at Dave Barry's Blog
'IDIOT' IS TOO KIND
Watch what happens when idiot decides to light fireworks in his trunk (Thanks to Rick Day)
It explains why my wife gets a hundred bites to my one. I'm not making this up.
Commented Jun 20, 2018 on HOW IS THIS HELPFUL? at Dave Barry's Blog
HOW IS THIS HELPFUL?
The study, conducted by researchers at Virginia Tech, confirmed what scientists already suspected: that mosquitoes remember the taste and smell of human blood and often pick on individuals whose blood is “sweeter” to them. (Thanks to coscolo and Le Petomane)
Gas City: Land of soap and glory.
Commented Jun 13, 2018 on STAND TALL, GAS CITY at Dave Barry's Blog
STAND TALL, GAS CITY
Mama Pearson's Soaporium in Gas City made an attempt at the world's largest bath bomb Saturday. (Thanks to MOTW)
Send them to Washington. Oh, wait...we've already done that.
Commented Jun 9, 2018 on WE ALREADY HAVE A GOOD SUPPLY IN FLORIDA at Dave Barry's Blog
WE ALREADY HAVE A GOOD SUPPLY IN FLORIDA
China Is Genetically Engineering Monkeys With Brain Disorders (Thanks to Roberto)
Send it to Washington. Oh, wait...we already did.
Commented May 31, 2018 on HEY, IT GOT INTO LAW SCHOOL at Dave Barry's Blog
HEY, IT GOT INTO LAW SCHOOL
You May Have a 'Second Brain' in Your Butt... And It's Smarter Than You Think (Thanks to Rick Stevenson)
I've been on that 19-hour flight! Oh, wait...it was LGA to FLL, but there was traffic.
Commented May 1, 2018 on PASS at Dave Barry's Blog
PASS
19-hour direct flight from New York City? (Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)
The end of civilization as we know it.
Commented Apr 25, 2018 on IF THEY REALLY NEED TO KNOW, THEY CAN ALWAYS ASK SOMEBODY ON SNAPCHAT at Dave Barry's Blog
IF THEY REALLY NEED TO KNOW, THEY CAN ALWAYS ASK SOMEBODY ON SNAPCHAT
Schools are removing analogue clocks from exam halls as teenagers 'cannot tell the time' (Thanks to Ralph)
To Dave and family: Sorry to learn of your loss. Please accept our condolences and our wish for happier times to come.
Commented Apr 9, 2018 on ABOUT THE LACK OF POSTING at Dave Barry's Blog
ABOUT THE LACK OF POSTING
My big sister Kate died yesterday, so my family and I are thinking about her and dealing with the things you deal with in these times. I’ll be back here as soon as I can. Meanwhile here’s a picture from the Sixties of my beautiful, funny, smart and sweet sister, the way I’ll always remember her....
"Rogers hails from the Potomac Valley Track Club and placed first in the age 100-104 category. He clocked a time of 19.13."
Big deal. I can do 60 meters in under 19 minutes.
Commented Mar 18, 2018 on BEFORE YOU FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING OLD at Dave Barry's Blog
BEFORE YOU FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING OLD
...watch this. (Thanks to Kevin Smith)
Don't ya just hate it when that happens?
Commented Mar 15, 2018 on GUESS THE AIRLINE at Dave Barry's Blog
GUESS THE AIRLINE
Dog bound for Kansas mistakenly shipped to Japan (Thanks to Chris Johnson)
Coulda been worse, at least it wasn't real beer.
Commented Mar 8, 2018 on NOOOOOOOOOOO at Dave Barry's Blog
NOOOOOOOOOOO
Truck driver spills 60,000 pounds of beer on I-10 in Florida (Thanks to Le Petomane and Jane Linderman)
Count me as one Bronx boy who wishes he had gone into law instead of engineering.
Commented Feb 28, 2018 on A FUN WORKPLACE at Dave Barry's Blog
A FUN WORKPLACE
Bronx DA’s office overrun with sex, booze and fights, employee says (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "They say this like it's a bad thing.")
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