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izontheprize
I'm a bright, happy seeker with a beautiful daughter.
Interests: spirituality, civil rights, honesty, family, dancing, hip hop music, people
Recent Activity
Why "You can only love others as much as you love yourself" is wrong
TL;DR: How I love my daughter has taught me how to love myself, not the other way around I know how I feel about myself. My self love has become, slowly, less conditional. It will never be unconditional, that's not for the humanity. I've been struggling for years thinking I... Continue reading
Posted May 28, 2023 at The Father Daughter Dance
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My daughter the cat
My daughter is like a cat with her life and emotions. As her Dad I put a bowl of milk out for her to drink from. If I try to force her to drink that milk metaphorically by getting her to talk about things before she's ready, it does not... Continue reading
Posted Apr 19, 2023 at The Father Daughter Dance
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A huge W for Zoe & a reminder I'm important to my daughter
Zoe called me yesterday to tell me she got accepted to UC Davis’ graduate teaching program. When she called I could hear her voice unsettled and wavering. She was crying a bit or maybe had just cried too I was ready to support her and listen to her about not... Continue reading
Posted Feb 22, 2023 at The Father Daughter Dance
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An early lesson in loss for my daughter
Posted Jan 17, 2023 at The Father Daughter Dance
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When a convo w/ my daughter isn't going well l can re-start it
I've learned over the years with my daughter that I can usually tell mid-conversation that it's not going well and I'm mostly the reason. It doesn't have much to do with whether we're both kind of angry, it's more my approach and mindset. For example, my daughter was sharing how... Continue reading
Posted Jan 4, 2023 at The Father Daughter Dance
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Review: Wednesday on Netflix
Posted Jan 3, 2023 at The Father Daughter Dance
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I learned it's NEVER too late to change
I have a loving, reliable, frustrating at times relationship with my daughter who is in her 20's. And yet, for the early years of her life I was a complete mess. I became addicted to narcotics, had mental illness issues and was all but lost. I was in her life... Continue reading
Posted Dec 15, 2022 at The Father Daughter Dance
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Why therapy is so important to me
Growing up "help" was a 4 letter word. It was stigmatized and a veritable last resort. I'm 54 and it's still stigmatized to a degree. I didn't commit to it until I was 47. There were a lot of uncovered hurt that resulted in conscious and unconscious patterns that were... Continue reading
Posted Dec 13, 2022 at The Father Daughter Dance
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3 reason to let your daughter be the DJ
Posted Dec 9, 2022 at The Father Daughter Dance
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Why I've tried to hit 6 run homers with my daughter
After several years of my personal difficulties and darkness I wanted to make it up to my daughter. In those first few years when it was completely behind me I was SO eager to help my daughter. I wanted to show her I'd changed and that I was a good... Continue reading
Posted Nov 29, 2022 at The Father Daughter Dance
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What is the Father Daughter Dance Blog?
This blog is devoted to my musings and lessons I've learned raising my daughter who is in her early 20's. In her early years I was in the darkness of addiction and mental illness. For the last 12 years I've been a stable, reliable, loving presence in her life. I... Continue reading
Posted Nov 25, 2022 at The Father Daughter Dance
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izontheprize is now following HawkGirl
Dec 28, 2020
izontheprize is now following The Typepad Team
Mar 15, 2010
I suppose if one were properly aroused the penis-ipod thing might actually work...
Commented Feb 3, 2010 on How to Write Funny at Ben Casnocha: The Blog
How to Write Funny
A couple years ago Scott Adams laid out the keys to writing funny. It's excellent advice. A few up-front points about humor: A company's or an executive's ability to deploy humor is an undervalued asset in the business world. It is rare to find someone who is very funny and not smart. My two ma...
izontheprize is now following Tim Keane
Jan 14, 2010
Yes, it made me cry. Way cool!!
Commented Aug 3, 2009 on Inspirational Video of the Day at Ben Casnocha: The Blog
Inspirational Video of the Day
Between watching this video on YouTube (embed below) and the all-time classic movie Wedding Crashers, I'm pretty stoked for my own wedding some day. (hat tip Jon Bischke)
Saved by the Bell needed Screech
Nirvana needed Kurt Cobain
The Bulls needed Rodman
The Democratic party needs Howard Dean
And any group needs me
Theory seems to make sense
Commented Apr 10, 2009 on Every Group Needs an Outcast at Ben Casnocha: The Blog
Every Group Needs an Outcast
The always interesting Bill Simmons, in his recent ESPN.com column, rejects the usual line that superstars like A-Rod or Barry Bonds, while cancers in the clubhouse in one sense, are on the whole destructive to team unity. On the contrary, the "guy everyone hates" can be helpful in fostering tea...
Thanks for the note, I actually adopted it and left it 2 years ago.
I re-adopted it about a year ago and I couldn't agree with you more.
Commented Jul 5, 2006 on The power of firefox at T-M-I from T-I-M
The power of firefox
Internet explorer is a thing of the past for me. Firefox is tremendous and the speed of the open source development around it is amazing. I've written before how the speed of innovation had outpaced the need of the end users and I still believe that. But one thing occurred to me. Firefox is m...
What I think is quite humorous is to study the higher income folks at these so called privliges of the wealthy as they fall asleep.
They are paying to be seen there not to see the event.
Commented Jul 5, 2006 on Do Wealthy People Consume High Culture to Signal Their Wealth? at Ben Casnocha: The Blog
Do Wealthy People Consume High Culture to Signal Their Wealth?
I am a student of social interactions in groups. I love observing how people's behavior change when they are in the presence of certain types of people. Covert signaling is a main part of our social interactions. In Silicon Valley, for example, people love to signal how busy they are ("I'll find...
It seems to me that self-deprecation is an unforutnate and misguided attempt at humility. I don't think there is anything wrong with suggesting I am skilled at something. The added spice like "I'm not the best in the world.." that creeps in is usually a product of my conditioning.
Was it too boastful for Jesus to say "I am the way, the truth and the light"? I don't think so, because for me, we all are. Assuming he said it, he didn't need to follow it up with, "...but that's just me and you know me, I think I'm some kind of savior or something, I mean I'm speaking like I actually know something!" ha!
I don't take myself too seriously which helps.
Commented Apr 26, 2006 on Self-Deprecation vs. Self-Bashing at Ben Casnocha: The Blog
Self-Deprecation vs. Self-Bashing
Perhaps the single biggest divider between the good and the great is self-confidence. So I hate when people aren't self-confident. I hate being around someone who says, "Because I'm so lazy..." or "I'm such a terrible writer so..." or "I totally suck at this so..." or "I'm always scatterbrained ...
Thanks for posting this Ben, particularly the video from Tucker Carlson (who if you haven't seen it had one of the most interesting live interactions I've ever seen with Jon Stewart). I also noticed Tucker ditched the bowtie.
I wonder if he thinks that given the nature of her profession if perhaps juries or others should consider anything said by a CEO these days to be tainted given the sultry acts of a few....
It's a super clear example of exactly how divided our society is.
Commented Apr 24, 2006 on Why We Think We're Dispassionate About the Duke Case at Ben Casnocha: The Blog
Why We Think We're Dispassionate About the Duke Case
I have friends who are going to Duke next year. I also am fascinated by race, gender, and poverty, the three age old issues which have torn and continue to tear this country apart. If you want to understand why I've stopped trying to follow "the facts" involving the Duke lacrosse stripper scanda...
Singular focus on anything is challenging. Try just walking down the street. The BB + driving in any situation just feels downright dangerous.
Commented Apr 24, 2006 on Hold on, let me take a bite, while I avoid this accident and change lanes at T-M-I from T-I-M
Hold on, let me take a bite, while I avoid this accident and change lanes
I read an article today that suggested that multi-tasking while driving triples the risk of an accident versus attentive motorists. It reminds me of one time when I was exchanging emails with my oldest bro down in Santa Monica. After 3 back and forths I realized he was on his blackberry respond...
Agreed, but I guess it's particuarly vexing to be so publicly incongruent.
Commented Apr 24, 2006 on Whose up for Foosball...Beuhler? at T-M-I from T-I-M
Whose up for Foosball...Beuhler?
So I started a new consulting assignment with a second big company and I happen to notice this morning that there is a foosball and ping pong table where the cafeteria is. I couldn't help but notice the thick layer of dust covering these virtually cover these surreal manifestations of "employee...
Well, I suppose it isn't the first time we've had an actor for a governor (see Ronald Reagan).
Your potty mouth is excused of course. Brunch was great.
I asked Zoe what she ordered and she looked at me with her eyes wide open and said:
"I ordered plain scrambled eggs, not too hot."
She got that and ate them all!!
Commented Apr 17, 2006 on LA Story; TT & Gov. Schwarzenegger at T-M-I from T-I-M
LA Story; TT & Gov. Schwarzenegger
I had brunch at a place called Ivey (or was it Ivy...who knows) in Santa Monica this weekend. It was as LA as it gets. I couldn't help myself when I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger. As he left the restaraunt and stood outside waiting for his car at the valet stand, I walked out to shake his hand (...
I'm interested to know whether that is an example of auto-pilot or consistency.
I will be on full "auto-pilot" alert Wednesday at lunch.
Commented Apr 10, 2006 on Transparency Takes You Off Autopilot at Ben Casnocha: The Blog
Transparency Takes You Off Autopilot
When I meet with people who read my blog regularly, auto-pilot is not an option. You know auto-pilot -- it's reciting your stock lines, fun facts, or personal biography in the way you've always done it. Maybe someone asks you a question about X and, when you're in auto-pilot, you search your me...
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