Has fear become a virtue? If so, what does that mean for society? Is that the reason we have identity politics? Also, how do we discuss George Floyd? Why do so many people seem to be unwilling to say that putting your knee on a man's neck who is in... Continue reading

There was an ancient writer who once wrote that it is better to go to a funeral than to a party. Because when we go to a funeral we are more likely to take account of our lives. At a funeral we are more likely to measure the number of days that we have which of the same writer wrote is a great way to get wisdom. Continue reading

Grief is something that comes for us all. We all will experience it at some point or another in our lives. In this episode, I relate my own experiences dealing with the passing of my mom and the anniversary of the last time I talked to her in this life.... Continue reading

Our greatest opportunities will often come with the greatest possibility of failure. May we engage those opportunities with courage. May we welcome all who come as competition and simultaneously want to beat them. May we elevate ourselves and those around us to greatness. And may we define greatness as the ability to put everything we have into whatever endeavor it is that we're doing. Continue reading

Our world has a long and dark history of racism and terrible things being done because of it. And this podcast, let's talk about how we talk about racism. Download it in your favorite podcast player or click on the Sound Cloud link above. Continue reading

We all have arguments and disagreements. It seems to me in the past, we have decided to stop having uncomfortable conversations because they typically go wrong. Here are ten skills that you can start incorporating into difficult conversations right away. I believe they will help us all have better difficult conversations. Seek to understand the other person's emotions (and your own). For as much as emotions infiltrate our actions and conversations, it amazes me how little attention we give them. When you can begin to understand your emotions and the other person's emotions, you can respond to them. This allows your response to be more complete. It gives you a better opportunity to answer them holistically. Talk about what you believe. So often, we want to talk about why the other person is wrong, rather than talk about what we believe. Focus on what you believe in the conversation. Talk about why you believe it. Don't get stuck in a battle nit-picking points of disagreement. If you are talking about what you believe and striving to understand what the other person believes your conversations will improve. In this situation, you can search for areas of agreement rather than focusing on disagreements. Measure the cost; Do you value relationships or being right more? What is more important to you? Being right or the relationship. Most of the time, I believe we should seek to solve whatever the problem(s) are and protect the relationship. There are times, where we have to be... Continue reading

Disagreement is inevitable. But we do it in a way that protrects the relationship. We can agreeably disagree. Continue reading

We have to develop the ability to hold two things in our minds at once. I pray that we return to being people who value questions. We need to step away from our identity politics and embrace that those who disagree with us are also people just like us. We have to fight against our normal nature of craving certainty. Certainty is good until it becomes the thing destroying us. There is no such thing as a life or a relationship without danger and disagreement. Continue reading

Real conversations can be hard, but we have to stop using words and phrases that end those difficult conversations. Instead, we need to intentionally engage conversations that we find it difficult. Continue reading

How should we engage people that we not only disagree with but that we also feel are a danger to others? Plus a book recommendation. Download it in your favorite podcast player or click on the Sound Cloud link above. Continue reading

That's it. That's how many minutes you get in every day. For me, wasting them in arguments on Facebook that doesn't improve or add value to those minutes seems like a complete waste of time to me. Continue reading

These five types of manipulation are taken from a book I read by Donald Miller. Media Monday is a series where I focus on something that I have created in another form of media. It's designed to help cross multiple learning styles. Continue reading

There was an ancient writer who wrote that we should only allow words to come out of our mouths that will build others up and benefit those that are listening. I dream of a society where that is the normal way. When we dismiss everything that disagrees with us as an attack, we are giving away the opportunity to benefit all those who listen to us. Continue reading

What happens when we stop telling people what to think or how to grieve and engage in skills designed to make us a better listener? Download it in your favorite podcast player or click on the Sound Cloud link above. Continue reading

There is something of a joke amongst marriage and relationship therapists. Everyone we meet, regardless of what is going on in their marriage, just needs to improve their communication. Domestic Violence? Just help us improve our communication. Infidelity? Just help us improve our communication. Financial Issues? Just help us improve our communication. Criminal Enterprise? Just help us improve our communication And often, when people are in trouble relationally, they have Communication that looks like a winding road of destruction and mayhem. There is screaming and name-calling. There is usually vitriol and cursing. There are statements about mamma and poppa. Incidents from years ago are unleased from the elephant-like memory room in someone's brain. Silence might settle in like a heart-pounding fog for hours or even days. Wait. Doesn't this mean that they do need to improve their relationship? At this point, a lot of people tend to think I'm disproving my point. All of these things point to lousy communication, right? No. None of those things happened because the person doing them thought they were the right thing to happen. Not one of the people calling names thought that calling names was the right thing to do. In fact, while all of them probably could add to their toolbox of communication, in almost every case they were ignoring and failing to utilize the tools they already had in the toolbox. They need to improve their emotional regulation. What they actually need to improve is their emotional regulation, which is actually... Continue reading

When we face distress, we have the opportunity to respond or react. With a little foresight, we can utilize response to better the world. Download it in your favorite podcast player or click on the Sound Cloud link above. Continue reading

So today, take a moment and think about people you know who are grieving over something other than the disruption this virus has caused in our world. I know those are the people who would have been on Marissa's mind today. Do something for them today. Write them a letter or email (you might have to google how to do this safely). Reach out to someone you know who might be missing someone today. Then go and hug your loved ones living in your house. Tell them how much you love them. None of us know what tomorrow holds. Continue reading

Every stressful interaction you have is an opportunity to learn about yourself. Examining your actions to learn about your values is imperative for every relationship we have. Download it in your favorite podcast player or click on the Sound Cloud link above. Continue reading

There is a difference between what you feel and what you do. We can experience negative emotions and still treat people well. Behavior is not dictated by emotions. Download it in your favorite podcast player or click on the Sound Cloud link above. Continue reading

Media Monday is a series where I focus on something that I have created in another form of media. It's designed to help cross multiple learning styles. Anxiety is not a new feeling. Often people try to deal with it by going to one of two extremes. They will often be tempted to believe that they can do nothing about their anxiety. "It's just the way I am," or "It's just the way it is..." will often be their mantra. The other extreme is that people will often try to eliminate the anxiety by "not thinking about it." This video is my attempt to help people find a more tenable position. With all that is going on in the world as of the writing of this post, I feel as though more of my friends are dealing with anxiety than ever. These are certainly uncertain times. Perhaps, this video will help you process them a little bit more For important information regarding our company response to COVID-19, please click here. Continue reading

During this uncertain time, grace and empathy are more important than ever. Download it in your favorite podcast player or click on the Sound Cloud link above. Continue reading

Don't engage in fear shaming. Regardless of how you feel about the response to this situation, please avoid fear shaming. This particular virus of shame cuts both ways. Continue reading

I despise it so much that I am about to institute a policy in our companies. It's simple: if you complain or gossip, you're fired. No write-ups. No warnings. Just gone. The only way to deal with a virus is to kill it. Destroy it and that is what I want you and me to do. Because it will take all of us to remove this virus. Continue reading

For people who live with special needs, there are everyday challenges for them and their loved ones that most people never have to consider. Today's episode is an interview with the mother of a child with osteogenesis imperfecta or brittle bone disease. Download it in your favorite podcast player or... Continue reading

My daughter asked me what I thought about the musical and I told her that I loved it because I believe there are only two stories ever told; stories of brokenness and stories of redemption. Sometimes, both brokenness and redemption are weaved throughout the story. To me, that is what makes Hamilton so profound. It tells the story of brokenness and redemption. It shows the messiness that is life. Continue reading