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If you don't have a chronic illness...it is hard to understand. I dealt with the same thing with my Mom's mental illness. Some things in life are hard to read. If you have never experienced these things, you have nothing to compare them to. I am diabetic. I have a small picture of what you mean. I have had physical sx that are uncomfortable. I get the energy thing. (I also have thyroid issues.) But, I can't totally understand everything you go through. However, I get needing to process. And that is why I find your blog easy to read. I want to hear what is going on with you. The good, the bad, and the truly ugly. I want to know what your reality is. When you share...I feel honored that I have the chance to hear it. EVEN on the bad days. But I think that I am used to seeing the pain in life. I grew up with it. My Mom trained me. That doesn't mean I don't value hope. I just realize that some days, hope is harder to find. Love you, Kathy.
Commented May 20, 2012 on The Definition of Better at Alter Everything
The Definition of Better
Art by Jim Benton A conversation with a friend: "Kathy, I read your blog post and, honestly, it was kind of depressing. Don't you think you'd feel better if you focused on good stuff?" The short answer...YES. The more complicated answer...NO. For 20 minutes, I tried to explain it....what ...
I have talked to many people who have doubters out there lately. You are certainly not alone. It is painful. And means that you have to rely on those friends who DO believe and want to understand.
Commented Mar 17, 2012 on Day 428: Thanks....For Everything at Alter Everything
Day 428: Thanks....For Everything
Do you hate me? Thank you. Have a new disease/infection/pain for my body? Thanks again. Doubt I'm sick? Muchos Gracias. Challenge me to my very core? I am grateful. YOU are my teacher. YOU are making me strong. YOU are causing me to appreciate. Your lessons are my presents. How I use them...
Dear Kathy: I have been learning this lesson a lot recently. Friends really do want to help. Love you. Remember to call on us.
Commented Mar 17, 2012 on Day 449: The Best Way To Give Yourself Methyl B-12 Injections at Alter Everything
Day 449: The Best Way To Give Yourself Methyl B-12 Injections
Source I'll admit it; I'm a chicken. For 20 minutes, I've been quivering, holding my meticulously clean thigh with my blue-gloved hand, staring at a needle. "It's just like darts," I rationalize. "You can do this." "It's just a pinch." Even in the most logical scenarios, THIS isn't happen...
It has taken me a lifetime to get that. And sometimes I still don't. Kathy: You are truly wise.
Commented Feb 3, 2012 on Day 428: Thanks....For Everything at Alter Everything
Day 428: Thanks....For Everything
Do you hate me? Thank you. Have a new disease/infection/pain for my body? Thanks again. Doubt I'm sick? Muchos Gracias. Challenge me to my very core? I am grateful. YOU are my teacher. YOU are making me strong. YOU are causing me to appreciate. Your lessons are my presents. How I use them...
Sleeplessness on top of everything else? Oh, brother.......I really hope you get some sleep soon.
Commented Jan 12, 2012 on Resistance is Futile at Alter Everything
Resistance is Futile
Source It's been a long time since I've watched a Nopalea infomercial. If you don't know it, it's a product sold on late night television as a "solution" for pain, insomnia, inflammation, and Lyme disease. They'll give you a free bottle...plus shipping. I've considered it: especially at fo...
Wow. This person has a license to practice medicine? Really??
Commented Dec 13, 2011 on Day 376: Miss Cleo's A Bust at Alter Everything
Day 376: Miss Cleo's A Bust
Sooooooo, in a desperate attempt to cure my chronic thrushy, mcthrush and wormy mcworms, one of my doctors recommended I visit another doctor who is said to have great "intuition" when it comes to figuring out complex health problems. "She's a miracle worker," I was told. "Knew my patient had...
Kathy: Being real is so much more important than being positive. Being sick isn't fun. It sucks. It is OK to say that.....
Commented Nov 27, 2011 on Day 357: On Gratitude at Alter Everything
Day 357: On Gratitude
I don't even know how to begin this blog post so I'm just going to say it: I feel tremendous pressure to be positive. After all, I live in one of the richest nations in the world. I have copious amounts of food in the fridge. I am not dying. I can move. Who am I to complain? Ebenezer Scroo...
I will continue on my quest to learn all about Judy...and I will continue to be grateful for great friends...
Commented Nov 27, 2011 on Day 360: Good Question at Alter Everything
Day 360: Good Question
Altered Today: Thinking about it.
I love reading a good mystery.
I love my daughter...and the fact that she is my best friend.
I love the support of all my good friends.
I love the fact that I am creating a fun and interesting business.
I love having time to myself.
I love sitting in bed and watching TV.
I love laughing.
I love music...of all kinds.
I love my roomie's dog...Cody is a hoot!
I love having a great roommate.
I love that life is always filled with hope and possibility when I look for it.
I love the view outside the backdoor of my new home.
I love Nashville.
I love Kathy and how she shares her struggles and joys with me.
Commented Nov 25, 2011 on Day 359: Tell Me What You Love About Your Life at Alter Everything
Day 359: Tell Me What You Love About Your Life
I'll admit it. I've hardly had any good news lately. If it's not thrush, it's my shoulder. If it's not my shoulder, it's my neck. If it's not me, it's my family. If it's not one miserable procedure, it's another. Justified or not, I'm beginning to feel/sound a lot like Eeyore. "No gaiety, n...
LOL!
Commented Nov 19, 2011 on Days 344-345: Thanks for Nothing Kim Kardashian at Alter Everything
Days 344-345: Thanks for Nothing Kim Kardashian
As I write this, I'm doped up on muscle relaxers. It's not common for me, reaching for prescriptions. But, for 13 14 days, I've been suffering: stiff neck, semi-locked shoulder, and arm pain. It started with my left arm, then moved to my shoulders, then to my neck, then to my right biscep...
Sometimes you just have to sit out the block.....
Commented Nov 19, 2011 on Day 346: Like College...Without Pizza at Alter Everything
Day 346: Like College...Without Pizza
Angel: How's the writing coming? Me: It's not. Angel: You giving up? Me: Kinda... Wah, wah, wah.... you can almost hear the trumpet of defeat. There are lots of reasons: my increasing arm/shoulder pain, how lousy I'm sleeping, depression, inability to concentrate. In short, my "new" bod...
I am dealing with this right now. And I am learning and growing. Amazingly. Thanks, Kathy.
Commented Nov 19, 2011 on Day 347: It Will If I Say So at Alter Everything
Day 347: It Will If I Say So
One of the things I've been thinking about a lot lately is lessons. I'm not sure I believe in Karma or Fate, but I do believe there's something to be learned from every experience in life...particularly illness. I've never considered myself very patient. Can Lyme teach me grace? I've al...
How powerful. Love you for posting that.
Commented Nov 19, 2011 on Days 348 and 349: When The Life You Get Is Not The Life You Planned at Alter Everything
Days 348 and 349: When The Life You Get Is Not The Life You Planned
It's hard to believe it's been almost a year since Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot outside a Safeway store in Tuscon, Arizona. I remember it clearly. One moment, I was in a car arguing with a friend to stop procrastinating about purchasing eye glasses. The next, I was witnessing the af...
I can't stand seeing ONE doctor. You have my absolute sympathy.
Commented Nov 19, 2011 on Day 351: Being Sick's A Full-Time Job at Alter Everything
Day 351: Being Sick's A Full-Time Job
Art by Natalie Dee Have you ever seen the Prilosec commercial? You know. The one where the guy's rattling off his pill schedule? Being a professional patient's like that. Not only from pill taking. It's the frequent treating and domino effect. That's what I most relate to. In the last fou...
Wonderful.
Commented Oct 18, 2011 on Day 316: You Matter...a reminder for you and me at Alter Everything
Day 316: You Matter...a reminder for you and me
Source Today I am writing with a simple message: S-T-O-P! Stop feeling unimportant. Stop thinking you can’t make a difference. Stop thinking you have to perfect to be __________, be successful, or be happy. You are so incredibly precious . And there is only one you that can be the diff...
Great article...wishing you and Buddy peace.
Commented Sep 5, 2011 on Day 277: Back to Center at Alter Everything
Day 277: Back to Center
What would calm do? What would peace do? What would relaxation do? Those are the questions I'm asking myself today, thanks to an article written by Martha Beck, in O Magazine, entitled Our Buddies, Our Selves. In it, Martha talks about the two sides of her...Fang (the serious proper one) an...
This seems obvious to me, Kathy. If someone hasn't been in your shoes, they just don't get it. I realize every time I read your blog that I am here to LEARN. As your friend, I desire to learn...and to understand. If I ever guilt you....feel free to kick me in the butt...because I AM NOT YOU AND I CAN'T GET WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR BODY. Unless you tell me. And I am willing to listen. Which I am. I love you. Write what you need to. I will continue listening. And learning.
Commented Sep 2, 2011 on Day 274: I Know You Mean Well, But... at Alter Everything
Day 274: I Know You Mean Well, But...
WARNING: Gollum wrote this post. Proceed at your own risk. Unsolicited Advice--It's the bane of chronically ill people. When you're sick, it's seems like everyone, everywhere has something to say about a) what you "should" be doing or b) how you "should" be doing it. Over the course of a y...
I am looking at my view. And I see you, Kathy. You are one of the friends that make life worthwhile. Thanks for being part of my life. Love you.
Commented Aug 31, 2011 on Day 272: Worth Repeating...Thank You Anna Quindlen at Alter Everything
Day 272: Worth Repeating...Thank You Anna Quindlen
From confettigarden.tumblr.com Anna Quindlen's commencement address to Villanova University, June 23, 2000: It's a great honor for me to be the third member of my family to receive an honorary doctorate from this great university. It's an honor to follow my great-uncle Jim, who was a gifted...
Kathy: Honesty is difficult. But you never know who you touch when you are sharing your pain. I thought about the days that Saul is just tired. Not wanting to reassure me. Just wanting to sleep. Thanks for giving me a clue. Love you.
I am glad that you and Angel talked.
Commented Aug 30, 2011 on Days 269-271: All That's Left at Alter Everything
Days 269-271: All That's Left
My SoulCollage Card--Go Fish I am the one grasping at straws. Holding on to the ugliness because the ugliness needs holding. I've got this, but I don't like this. It's all that's left. It's all I can do. Beaten, not broken. I stay covered Because I have to. Mind the snarl of my lip. Note th...
I missed this one, Kathy. Saul deals with similar health issues. I am definitely praying for Wendy. And family.
Commented Aug 25, 2011 on Day 262: Prayers for Wendy at Alter Everything
Day 262: Prayers for Wendy
Wendy, my Lupine Lady Right now, as I breathe and type, one of my favorite Lyme friends--several states away--is praying for a miracle. Her mother is sick....dealing with chronic lung disease and a partially collapsed lung filled with fluid. It's the kind of moment that reminds you what's im...
Being in a committed relationship with a man who has serious health problems, I have to tell you how you and Kathy inspire me. Thank you.
Commented Aug 25, 2011 on Day 266: An Unstoppable Team at Alter Everything
Day 266: An Unstoppable Team
EDITORIAL NOTE: Kathy is out of town and it has been 244 days since I last blogged for my wife, but don't worry... I'm going to keep it business as usual in here. I feel like posting the video first ruins the punchline for the rest of what I'm going to write, but the designer in me just can't ...
I would tell my daughter how much she has added to my life and how very much I love her. I would tell Saul that he has been my soulmate and I couldn't imagine living without having had his love. And I would die feeling lucky because I have great friends and wonderful family.
Sounds like you and Kathy have the same. You are a great guy, Angel.
Commented Aug 25, 2011 on Day 265: My/Her Last Words at Alter Everything
Day 265: My/Her Last Words
EDITORIAL NOTE: Kathy is out of town and it has been 243 days since I last blogged for my wife, but don't worry... I'm going to keep it business as usual in here. When I first agreed to take over the onerous task of blogging in my wife's stead, I had visions of crafting posts from our cats' ...
Kathy: You are warm, loving, and genuine. You deserve warm and genuine and loving in return. So does everyone else posting on any forum designed to support people who have Lyme disease. You have so much of your life taken away by the disease, you need to have people in your life who are loving and supportive. Period. I am (as always) very proud of you. Love you!
Commented Aug 19, 2011 on Day 260: Pick A Pair at Alter Everything
Day 260: Pick A Pair
Would you wear this shoe? You would, if you didn't have any. If you were in the street, half dressed, naked tootsies, surrounded by screaming asphalt...you'd wear it--regardless of color, style, fit, or preference. When you're desperate, you'll take anything. Like a castaway eating rats for...
Seriously, Kathy...let me know if you need me to help the next time you go to the doc. I am available. Love you.
Commented Aug 13, 2011 on Day 254: Shaky Vision + Parasites + Colonics + Ivermectin + Lyme at Alter Everything
Day 254: Shaky Vision + Parasites + Colonics + Ivermectin + Lyme
Ask anyone who knows me, they'll tell you: I'm one tough cookie. If you ever see me coming out of a doctor's office, looking like a deer in headlights, ready to cry, it's safe to assume something's wrong. I don't freak out easily. Over the last year, I've had a lot of stuff happen: I've been un...
What a way to wake up! You are doing the best possible taking care of yourself. I hope it gets better.
Commented Aug 10, 2011 on Day 251: Life On The Mend at Alter Everything
Day 251: Life On The Mend
explodingdag.com "Anyone can slay a dragon, he told me, but try waking up every morning and loving the world all over again. That's what takes a real hero." -- Brian Andreas FLEET...that was my friend at 6:00 this morning. Panicked, I jumped out of bed. My eyes were worse. Everything was...
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