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The Virginity Project
Interests: People! Do you have an interesting virginity loss story that you would like to share? email me at: katemonroe@yahoo.com. All names changed.
Recent Activity
I think so too Ruta - thanks for commenting and sorry for the delay! I forgot I disabled comments….duh.
Chicks dig nerds
‘I stumbled across your blog today after hearing about your book on Dan Savage's podcast. I think your project is a really cool idea. I wanted to tell you my virginity loss story because it's a good one and there isn't much occasion to tell it.’ Never a truer word spoken. How often do you get th...
Dear Girl in London
Thank you for taking the time to write this lovely, thoughtful - and very true - comment.
Kate
The Virginity Project took itself to the flicks...
The Virginity Project took itself to the flicks this week to see ‘The Sessions’. Rarely have I felt an audience so rapt in their attention as the story on the screen unfolded. And yet…it all felt so very familiar. Here is the reason why. The Sessions is a film about a severely disabled man who w...
Jo, you communicated all of that so well in your story and thats what inspired me to post it again, because it made me feel wistful for younger years in just the same way! Not that being older is worse. On the contrary, one gets to a stage where you realise in many respects that youre far more content having travelled a few miles down the road than you were when you were younger but first love is….well, you cant repeat it can you. As a creative person, you know that everything you mention below is also amazing inspiration for more creative work so dont stop writing because youre really good at it. Nora Ephron wrote really well on the subject of using ones life experiences for inspiration. Theres a great quote about it
somewhere...
Semi Formal
So many great things about this story. I love the language. I love the fact that despite it being written in plain English, fifty per cent of the cultural references go straight over my head. I had to do some Googling to get the measure of this beautifully American story. But what jumps out at m...
Ha, that is so great! Thanks for sending...
What happens abroad probably won’t stay abroad
For once, I won’t intro a story. Ok, just a little one. Some stories you just want to chuck right out there, fresh off the press, pretty much the moment they land in your inbox and tell the world about them. A lot of shitty things happen in this world. Here is a story that doesn’t include any of...
Thanks Dani!
True Romance...
This story confirms something that I have seen with my own eyes and it is this. If you ask people about the first time they had sex and the first time they had sex and it meant something, you will get two different answers. It also brings to mind an intriguing book that I recently read. Laura...
Gosh, youre right, that is a first. Thats the oddest story Ive ever read and the comments section is something else. Thanks for sending it Chris.
It's only rock n roll...
I did a radio show with the World Service a few years back and was given a semi hard time by a woman who thought I didn’t place enough importance on ‘the first time’. She said it was something that should be treasured and saved for ‘the right person’ and not given away without a thought. I don’t...
Gosh, youre right, that is a first. Thats the oddest story Ive ever read and the comments section is something else. Thanks for sending it Chris.
It's only rock n roll...
I did a radio show with the World Service a few years back and was given a semi hard time by a woman who thought I didn’t place enough importance on ‘the first time’. She said it was something that should be treasured and saved for ‘the right person’ and not given away without a thought. I don’t...
Hi Andrea, apparently you can buy it from that page but have to click the little plus sign to get alternative versions. Here is a direct link:http://www.amazon.co.uk/Losing-It-Popped-Cherry-ebook/dp/B00B1B1VDM/ref=tmm_kin_title_1?ie=UTF8qid=1366101885sr=8-1
You should also be able to get a refund for the other book by going to Manage Your Kindle, and clicking the Actions button next to the title return, and selecting Return for refund.
But if you have any problems, just let me know and I will put you a book in the post! With best wishes, Kate Monro
I’m really thrilled today to showcase the new...
I’m really thrilled today to showcase the new edition of my book. It’s the small format paperback of The First Time but whilst we were at it, we thought we’d give it a makeover. So here it is, Losing It: How we popped our cherry over the last 80 years.* One doesn’t always get the chance to...
Andrea, thanks so much for bringing this to my attention. Ive emailed my publisher who will be able to sort it out. Its the London Book Fair this week so they may be out of the office today but worst case scenario, we can send you a print copy of the book if that helps? Ill mail you as soon as I hear from them but sorry that youve had this problem!
I’m really thrilled today to showcase the new...
I’m really thrilled today to showcase the new edition of my book. It’s the small format paperback of The First Time but whilst we were at it, we thought we’d give it a makeover. So here it is, Losing It: How we popped our cherry over the last 80 years.* One doesn’t always get the chance to...
On the contrary Eugen, I think shes simply angry, as many women are that we live in a culture where 1 in 3 women in this world will be raped in their lifetime. And that an upcoming generation of youth are extremely flippant about that. Do you have sisters, a girlfriend or a mother? Because even if you are not a woman, this affects you too.
That Amazon was recently selling T-shirts that said Keep Calm and Carry on Raping is a worrying (not to mention stressful) development for most women. If the tables were turned, perhaps you might hate women but I think women, including Natalie Vaught - are pretty forgiving and flexible people on the whole. But that doesnt stop us from being angry. Dont get the two muddled up!
Man Up
One of the things I loved most about writing my book was the opportunity to talk to men. It will come as no surprise to learn that women are fairly well versed when it comes to the art of self expression. From the moment we are born, and right into adulthood, crying, talking about our feelings a...
You are welcome. It is time to bust a few myths and this is one of the biggest.
Its something that I may look into exploring in a feature if youre ever interested in contributing, do drop me an email!
The story that you don't want to hear...
I never said this blog was going to be pretty. People’s virginity loss stories come in many different shapes and sizes, and with varying different degrees of pleasure. Rarely physical it must be said but occasionally emotional. Not today. ‘I’m not sure people will want to hear my story’ wrote Mi...
Hey Ingrid, thanks for the digital big up, much appreciated!!
Can you point me in the direction of CC MacKenzies blog? Im intrigued.
Weirdo Lin
How is it that I let my blogging birthday go by without even noticing? Not only that, but it’s a significant birthday: my fifth. In blogging years, that’s like turning 21 and not realizing it. I never thought I’d be a blogger, I certainly didn’t plan it, understand it or even see the point in it...
Natalie, I hear you and agree with you on many points but I dont think this is your man. He didnt mean that men should choose whether or not women have sex with them. Rather he was making an observation about how it is primarily a womans choice whether or not sex takes place, as it should be. There are all sorts of retrogressive twats out there who feel perturbed by that but I think this guy justworded his thoughts a bit clumsily.
Man Up
One of the things I loved most about writing my book was the opportunity to talk to men. It will come as no surprise to learn that women are fairly well versed when it comes to the art of self expression. From the moment we are born, and right into adulthood, crying, talking about our feelings a...
A good question and the answer depends on how you define virginity loss. Virginity is all in the head as far as I am concerned but then Ive never been judged for its loss so I can afford to say that. Not everyone (women mostly) has that luxury.
The truth, the whole truth and nothing but..
There is always a difference between the reason we tell people we are pursuing a project and the actual, deep down, nuts and bolts impetus. The motivation, the thing that gets us out of bed each morning, washes us, dresses us and sets us down in front of our computers for another days journey, in...
Come back and visit again anytime Rochelle!
Life is but a stage....
One of the reasons I am late updating this week is because The Virginity Project is sitting on its big fat arse on a Greek island. For the record, my butt isn’t actually that big but it easily could be. There is nothing to do here except read books, stare at the ocean and eat food. Life is good....
Dont worry, it rained here yesterday...but it *was* pretty Greek rain...
Life is but a stage....
One of the reasons I am late updating this week is because The Virginity Project is sitting on its big fat arse on a Greek island. For the record, my butt isn’t actually that big but it easily could be. There is nothing to do here except read books, stare at the ocean and eat food. Life is good....
Im totally with you on this one, it practically cracked my heart in two reading this. I think hes very brave to express his feelings so eloquently and it makes me think hes much more of a man than he realises.
Man Up
One of the things I loved most about writing my book was the opportunity to talk to men. It will come as no surprise to learn that women are fairly well versed when it comes to the art of self expression. From the moment we are born, and right into adulthood, crying, talking about our feelings a...
D, you have no idea how universal this story is. Its almost like the mantra of the 21 year old man. I get sent SO many stories just like this one. I doubt it helps to know that but perhaps it helps to know that youre not alone. Search under the appropriate section on my blog and you will find stories from young men who have taken the path you are considering and find out how it panned out for them. But also consider this....there are all sorts of different people in this world - there are those that make you feel great about yourself and those that dont. The right woman for you will not make you feel crap about this. The right woman will usher you through this doorway with kindness and consideration, possibly even excitement. Keep your mind open. Everything could change when you least expect
it!
When guys talk....
I am a woman. Sound a bit Tantric? Its not meant to. It is merely a statement of fact. I am a woman and therefore I speak only from a female perspective. Which is one reason, among many, for enjoying my research so much. I get to get inside the heads of men. It feels like a privileged position, a...
Hey Ellis, thanks for good wishes. Best of luck with your exams and let me know what you think of the book!
There's a first time for everything...including publishing books..
And whilst we’re on the subject of my book, which we weren’t but we are now. It’s been a while since I sat down and wrote a post that didn’t have a story in it but which simply discussed what might be going on in my head. So I thought I’d take this opportunity to tell you how life is now that I ...
Hey, thanks for that, I really appreciate it. Very best London wishes to you!
Thursday is the best day of the week...
Today is an auspicious day. It is the day that my book is officially published and I am off the scale excited. I haven’t quite worked out what the form is yet. Does one rush into one’s local book store, pick up a copy of one’s ‘baby’ and scream at the top of your lungs ‘I WROTE THIS!! To anyone ...
I havent quite got into the matchmaking business yet Big Mick but it could be on the cards..
Thursday is the best day of the week...
Today is an auspicious day. It is the day that my book is officially published and I am off the scale excited. I haven’t quite worked out what the form is yet. Does one rush into one’s local book store, pick up a copy of one’s ‘baby’ and scream at the top of your lungs ‘I WROTE THIS!! To anyone ...
Lovely to hear you Joanna - we must meet and yes, will def let you know about photos! xx
There's a first time for everything...including publishing books..
And whilst we’re on the subject of my book, which we weren’t but we are now. It’s been a while since I sat down and wrote a post that didn’t have a story in it but which simply discussed what might be going on in my head. So I thought I’d take this opportunity to tell you how life is now that I ...
Charles, I think its important to preface your words with in my opinion because this is, after all, just one point of view when it comes to the importance - or not - of virginity. Some might argue that it has a more practical provenance i.e. a womans virginity was one way of ensuring that property got transferred to the correct heir and not some interloper. Marrying a virgin was a good way of doing this. Its also critical to remember that judging a womans virginity - if we must judge at all - on whether or not she bleeds is ridiculous. Lots of women were not born with hymens and for those that were, they can be broken in all sorts of non sexual ways - long before she has sexual intercourse for the first time.
Inside out...
Once again, here is the acknowledgment that having penetrative sex for the first time - which is, after all, the way that most of us define the ‘loss’ of our virginity - can be a total non-event. What often sticks in our memories, as it does for today’s story teller, are other, more emotionally ...
Thanks Bill. Having written this blog for almost 4 years and researched the book for 5, this point has become apparent to me along the way!
One step closer...
Fareeda* requested that this post be taken down. *All names changed before publication.
The Virginity Project is now following Bill Van Loan
Mar 29, 2011
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