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Solutions Therapy
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor working in Austin, Texas.
Recent Activity
Narcissists frequently use emotional manipulations in their interactions with those around them. Manipulations are crazy making. Manipulations are how the narcissist gets inside your head and turns your own mind against you. You start to doubt your own sense of perception of reality, your decision making abilities, your judgment, your emotions, even your own five senses. Because understanding the manipulations which are being played on you is such an important part of healing, I have created a comprehensive list. Because the list is so long, they are listed alphabetically for easy reference. I've also created a table of contents at the beginning of this article to help you search for specific manipulations. Continue reading
Posted Jun 1, 2021 at Kellevision
Therapists talk a lot about boundaries, but we're not always clear what we mean by "boundaries". Why are they so important to an individual's mental health? Why are they so important for healthy relationships? Continue reading
Posted May 10, 2021 at Kellevision
26 things you can do for panic/anxiety attacks Continue reading
Posted Aug 13, 2018 at Kellevision
I'm so sorry you had to live with that. Your description of the behavior is beautifully stated. Thank you for sharing about bodichitta. I will look that up.
Gaslighting: what it is and who does it to you. Continue reading
Posted Feb 28, 2018 at Kellevision
People with borderline personality disorder usually have an underdeveloped sense of self. What does this mean? Continue reading
Posted Feb 12, 2018 at Kellevision
People with a cluster B personality disorder (antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, histrionic) often violate your boundaries in a variety of ways. Emotional Boundaries If they are upset about something, they expect you to be upset too. If you have a problem, but they are in a good mood, they can’t understand why you are bringing them down. If they are having a bad day, but you are in a good mood, they expect to feel bad with them and to take responsibility for making them feel better. They will also resent the fact that you are having a good day and... Continue reading
Posted Jan 9, 2018 at Kellevision
A simple exercise to increase your happiness in life. Continue reading
Posted Jan 9, 2018 at Kellevision
Strengthening your sense of self can make you more emotionally stable and resilient. Continue reading
Posted Jan 9, 2018 at Kellevision
Thank you so much for your comments. Im so pleased to hear your are freeing yourself from these toxic influences. It is definitely a journey.
Toggle Commented Jul 9, 2017 on Codependency at Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Hi Caroline, Thank you so much for writing. If anything I wrote helped another, I'm pleased beyond words. Take care and be well. Kellen
Hi Deeply, I'm so pleased you liked it. Thank you for your comments. Kellen
Hi, I'm sorry but the particle has been pulled from the website and I can't locate it in other places.
Hi Yvonne, That sounds so very hurtful. I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you can find a counselor or a support group in your area to talk to. I think it would really help to have someone on your side.
Hi Donna, Im very pleased this was of help to you. Youre absolutely right about him not changing. Though its possible for narcissists to change, they first have to admit there is something wrong with them, which they very rarely do. It then takes many years of therapy and very hard work for them to change. Initiating No Contact bothers them greatly and they will go to great ends to re-establish contact. His Facebook request is a good example. Im glad you were able to see through it and hold your ground. Nicely done, Kellen
Your children are lucky you have realized this. You can help them know how to deal with him as adults. Im so sorry this is your situation, but pleased you have found out what the problem is. I wish you all the best.
When people say they are "sorry", but keep doing a hurtful behavior - they aren't sorry. I'm just saying... I see this a lot with antisocial folks. Since they feel no remorse, they can't really be sorry. But they say the words "I'm sorry" because they have learned are socially expected. So everyone says you should forgive them - because they said they were sorry. But you can't, can you? Because they haven't actually apologized, they've just mouthed the words. And because they keep hurting you. If someone says they're sorry, but continues to hit you in the head, how... Continue reading
Posted Nov 10, 2015 at Kellevision
“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.” ~Shirley MacLaine Let me say up front that Pollyanna Sunshine advice to just "choose" to be happy can really be annoying. It is not meant for people who are seriously depressed. If someone is so depressed they are not functioning, are suicidal, are losing the will to live, or are psychotic - this advice is at best inappropriate, if not downright ludicrous. This article is meant as a cure-all for people struggling with life threatening depression. However, it is intended for people struggling with the negative thinking so prevalent in depression.... Continue reading
Posted Oct 26, 2015 at Kellevision
A recent article on a popular science cite suggests that playing the game of Tetris can help people who are struggling with symptoms of trauma (PTSD), food cravings, drug addiction or sex addition. Perhaps those "evil" video games can help us instead of hurt us? Continue reading
Posted Oct 19, 2015 at Kellevision
In abusive relationships it is not uncommon for the victim to feel that the abuser loves because they say they do. Abused children believe their parents love them because they say they do. And children will believe this even when the parent has a long history of beating the child or profoundly neglecting the child. This is why it's important to watch what people do, rather than what they say. The predators and abusers of the world often display "empathy gaps", gaps in their ability to feel compassion or empathy for others. Their words are very charming and full of... Continue reading
Posted Oct 12, 2015 at Kellevision
Can our pets heal us? Studies show they can help. Continue reading
Posted Oct 8, 2015 at Kellevision