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Kristina Thielen
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Kristina Thielen is now following peanutbelly
Nov 13, 2012
No rebukes from this corner. In my opinion, we're all allowed a little time on the fur-lined pity pot no matter our lot in life. In fact, you can easily differentiate those who choose not to indulge from time to time by their manic, gotta-be-happy Barney-ness that is simultaneously irritating as hell and sad as can be. I think there's some ancient saying by some important guy whose name I forgot that says something to the effect that you have to have rain to really appreciate the sunshine. Or maybe I just made that up. But it sounds good, right? And now, back to your regularly scheduled Barney episode ;)
Hey Gretchen- I haven't seen you in forever (since like the 1980s-90s when I was hanging out with Jo & Melisa), but I saw your posts on here & went back to read your other blog to catch up- and I am in awe of you! Congrats on all you have accomplished & on continuing to git-er-done. You have much to be proud of! As for advice on the present situation: I won't endeavor to tell you what to do, but I can share my story, which bears certain similarities. My husband & I had been married about 5 1/2 years when he got sick and died (much like divorce- the grieving process is very similar), leaving me a 26-yr-old widow with three kids ages 5, 3 & barely 1. The first year was a blur of pain, confusion, and lots of wine after the bedtime routines were through each night. Somehow, through the haze, I made the choice to go back to school (major change #1- I had been a SAHM & was terrified of being a single mom with no marketable skills). After about a year and a half, I made major change #2: moving from suburban Wichita, where I had grown up and was close to family and friends, to Halstead- a tiny town of about 1500 people with good schools, located about 40 miles away from my comfort zone. 40 miles may not seem like much, but it was truly a world away for me, especially when it meant moving away from the home my husband & I had created for the kids, moving away from family supports, and moving farther from where he was buried. I had a lot of growing pains after I moved here. Small town life was really different from what I had grown up with, and it was a difficult transition. The only thing that saved me was making a conscious decision that I.would.make.this.work. I commuted to school and finished my degree with honors (now getting the masters online so as not to disrupt/move children). I found a volunteer position in Halstead as an EMT/FF that is awesomely fulfilling. And my kiddos couldn't be happier: the now-12 year old boy is very active in sports and has a few close friends that are good influences; the now-10 year old girl also plays sports and is on the honor roll, also with friends that will not drag her into a drug- or gang-fueled existence; and the now-8 year old boy is my lego-obsessed budding engineer with buddies around the corner. So the point of my blathering on is this: whichever decision you make will be right, because you are made of much the same gritty stuff that I am and you.will.make.this.work. It's not fun, it's not easy, and either path is fraught with uncomfortable change. One of the greatest lessons I learned in this whole life experience is to trust my instinct and know that the kids will be fine as long as I am fine. And FINE does NOT stand for fucked-up, insecure, neurotic and emotional.
Toggle Commented Oct 30, 2011 on Dilemma at Sassmouth
Kristina Thielen is now following Sassmouth Sisters
Oct 4, 2011
Kristina Thielen is now following The Typepad Team
Oct 4, 2011