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Lisajns is now following Therese
Mar 3, 2012
I'm a stickler for continuing with what "I" planned to do. For instance if I decided to stay home tonight and partner rings and says "let's go out for dinner" that's a definate NO NO NO NO. I'm not doing anything other than "nothing" but I had already planned to stay home and do the ironing or whatever it might be and people just love to throw a spanner in my works!! I don't like to go out either, once I'm home I'm not spontaneous. Home I stay unless there is a "plan" to go elsewhere later of course :) I didn't know these issues were about control. Damn control, can't get rid of it!
Hi ya, I definately have authority figure problems, have for a long time! I have issues with exerting authority over others too. Perhaps it is to make myself feel more valuable (something I need to explore more). It's interesting about feeling helpless. I was in a situation today where I was treated poorly by a colleague and I let it ride but it festered so I think I must have felt helpless so I baited her and of course an argument ensued! I won and gained my authority back (she is in a more junior role than me). God I have these issues ALL the time. I've got to sort it....or simply work for myself! ha....
Oh sorry one question, what happens in an ACOA based Alanon meeting then? I was thinking of going because I thought it might be different than a general Alanon meeting. They are few and far between in my state. Surely if they are advertised as ACOA Alanon meetings they will talk about upbringing etc??
How interesting! My Sponsor also told me the same thing about Alanon focusing on the alcoholic for when in Alanon she was told many times not to speak about codependency. I too was told not to speak about other addictions except alcoholism - ended up having a blue with the woman who runs the Alanon office in my state when I was a desperate newcomer seeking help from Alanon and told I could not speak of my partners alternate addiction. Whilst I think it's important for Alanon to focus on how to deal with the alcoholic on one's life, it's also important to them to focus on issues such as inner child/FOO and codependency issues. Thanks for the background info on ACA too. I've stopped by their forum many a time. Really really interesting article, with thanks :)
Hmm just say I had "minor" depression in childhood and came from an ACOA family, I would still repeat the same scenario as an adult for I knew no better. What's to say that I might find a partner who is not dysfunctional and live happily ever after? My serious depression didn't come until I hit 30. I never had depression like that in my teens. I feel with me that it's all about behaviours. It's the behaviours that made me sad in childhood and it's my behaviours/way of thinking as an adult and the behaviours of others I associate with that caused my depression. Depression (inherited) had nothing to do with my choices as an adult IMHO, my choices were destined, they were all I ever knew & made me feel comfortable. Change the behaviours as an adult and the depression from being an unmanageable adult can lift. I'm probably not making any sense! I have fuzzy brain syndrome!! Can you write about that? Last two - three years it's come about. God I want it gone!! Good blog :)
Good post but it is my understanding that we are depressed as adults because we repeat the same scenarios from childhood - we find the same partners, we keep trying to rectify our childhood woes in adulthood which of course until recovery are always failures. The failures in our lives as adults depress us - of course! I was depressed as a child - I remember it (well, not the feeling) and of course I am depressed now BUT thanks to 12 Steps I am happier than I've ever been. I can now focus on changing my dysfunctional behaviours which in turn will keep me safe, sane and happy (most of the time!).
Lisajns is now following The Typepad Team
Nov 27, 2010