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Lucy Tyler
Sexual adventuress and revolutionary liberal
Interests: history, sodomy, cake.
Recent Activity
All good questions and I wish I had an answer for some of them. I have a Lib Dem MP (who I didn't vote for) who supported the government and justifies it as follows Now, maybe I'm just made sour by recent experiences, but I think her defence amounts to (a) it's all everyone else's fault (b) we're all in it together but let's cut spending on education by 100% more than we're cutting spending on MPs and hope nobody notices (c) I'm too thick to work out that the reason more people from disadvantaged backgrounds have been going to university isn't because they think tuition fees are spiffing but because of the effect of the EMA grant, which we've just voted out of existence. And let's not forget her key justification, that breaking the NUS pledge "was superceded by my signing up to the coalition agreement". Yes love, we get it, your promise to the Tories means more than your promise to the electorate. Enjoy your five minutes of power.
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I'll have you know that David Bowie and Bing Crosby awkwardly pretending to be neighbours is one of the most valuable things on YouTube and it keeps disappearing thanks to repeated copyright claims (though why anyone would want to claim responsibility for it is beyond me). Frankly you were lucky to have two copies of it for as long as that lasted but it's been replaced by Judy Garland now. Horniness is a normal reaction to everything (except Bing Crosby). Sex is not the solution, the solution is seven percent cocaine. I've got a broken wrist and so the cat is helping me type thicwdw;k LQDN98NWKA\ghj
Toggle Commented Dec 10, 2010 on Ask Lucy Anything at Lucy's Bedroom
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We lost. In fact we lost twice. The coalition won their vote, securing the end of universal education. And they won the story when some half-witted royal protection officer drove into the protest, turning every headline in the country into... Continue reading
Posted Dec 10, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
What a great question! I'm not knitting anything right now but I have plans over Christmas to knit a Kindle sock for D with the words Don't Panic in large, friendly letters on it. I'm a very slow knitter and so only knit small things like hats and mittens. In honour of your question,some knitted hares have an exciting adventure.
Toggle Commented Dec 3, 2010 on Ask Lucy Anything at Lucy's Bedroom
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Fortunately this is a hypothetical question as my bicycle has a basket expressly for the easy transportation of cake. However, if pressed, and given the cold snowiness of outside right now, I'd have to plump for the thing I can do in bed. Followed by some cake.
Toggle Commented Dec 2, 2010 on Ask Lucy Anything at Lucy's Bedroom
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1. No, if you want an opinion you can ask anyone. I wouldn’t advise it though because most people’s opinions are perfectly idiotic. We’ve bred a generation of people who have confused ‘everyone’s entitled to their opinion’ with ‘everyone’s opinion is of equal value’ and possibly ‘everyone is entitled to an audience for their opinion’ (though I recognise I’m on ironic ground expressing this opinion on a blog). Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but we can ignore most of them because we know they’re wrong. This is doubly true of historians. 2. Moll Flanders, she survived the voyage to Virginia twice and so was clearly hard as nails. 3. 4. No, shoes are also worn in the seated position in many Western democracies. 5. Yes, Plantagenet is a surname. 6. Except penguins don’t have white heads. But there is a handy word in Latin, pinguis, which means fat.
Toggle Commented Dec 1, 2010 on Ask Lucy Anything at Lucy's Bedroom
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‘…I was talking about the tactic of protesters themselves isolating those who start causing problems’ Great, but my post is about the mounted police action which nobody, not even the police, suggest was triggered by anyone causing problems. I repeat, I saw no trouble in my part of the protest. I’m not going to continue the discussion because you’re putting words in my mouth (‘I'll take your point that there were fewer anarchists at the second protest…’ No, I challenged you to produce evidence there were any) and because you haven’t apologised for accusing me of shrieking. I don’t mind a debate but I take exception to being patronised.
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Shrieking? Nice word choice; classy. As you’re keen on alternative points of view, here’s my view of your comments. ‘It wasn’t a charge’. I’ve posted a link to video evidence and people can make their own minds up about what this shows. ‘What do you expect when people are kicking off..?’ Nobody, not even the police, have suggested that the mounted action was in response to ‘people kicking off’. ‘…anarchists and vandals’ I saw no evidence in my part of the protest of anarchists and vandals though as you refer to them so confidently I’d be happy for you to link to the evidence you are relying on to argue that their actions are directly related to the mounted police action. ‘…walk away from the trouble makers instead of rushing to watch hoping to gain some reflected revolutionary glory’. Aside from being massively patronising, this shows a complete misunderstanding of the nature and effect of kettling, the tactic you appear to be promoting. How do you propose I walk away when the police won’t let me for up to nine hours? Then when they do decide that they might be prepared to let me leave, they demand my personal details and photograph, relying on the Prevention of Terrorism Act but without being able to show just cause. Of course I politely pointed out that without just cause their demand constitutes an illegal search but I’d be happy to discuss that further with them at the police station with a solicitor present. How do you propose I walk away from the trouble makers when in the eyes of the police we are all trouble makers? ‘There’s no point throwing your arms in the air and saying it’s nothing to do with you’. Please show me where I have said that or suggested anything like it. You’re the one making the arbitrary and unsupported distinction between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ protestors. ‘This tactic has been working for years in other public order situations like football.’ This tactic is in fact highly controversial and is currently the subject of a test case in the European Court of Human Rights. ‘The alternative is snatch squads…’ This is simplistic. It’s not a choice between (a) kettling (b) snatch squads (c ) absolutely nothing else, as the police will discover if they lose the test case and have to face compensating thousands of lawfully demonstrating people for their illegal detention. ‘…this supposed police brutality’. This is your phrase not mine; I called them liars. ‘The majority always win in these situations’. It was the complacency of this remark that led me to the Daily Mail wisecrack. The majority don’t always win; the majority sit on their lardy arses eating Pringles and watching ITV. Change is won by those who turn up.
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Are you lost? Did you mean to post that on the Daily Mail website?
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When it comes to shrubs, I'm most likely to be found whimpering in the rhododendrons. As for coppices or small woodlands, Queens Wood and Highgate Wood are the nearest. And what I'd recommend, in either wood, is pointing to trees randomly and saying, "Look, a hornbeam" because nobody's really sure what a hornbeam looks like and there's a good chance you'll be right. On the off chance that you weren't asking me to recommend something related to woods, I also recommend Branka Parlic's recordings of Philip Glass; 'Yes' organic lubricant; and The Secret History of Georgian London by Dan Cruickshank.
Toggle Commented Nov 29, 2010 on Ask Lucy Anything at Lucy's Bedroom
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It continues to be too cold to do anything other than eat toast, so I've been doing some housekeeping on my blog. This mostly means deleting all the comments about how interesting my dissertation is from people with 'I am... Continue reading
Posted Nov 28, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
It's flipping cold. So cold in fact that I'm currently sporting thermal underwear. I have been unable to raise D's interest in this, no matter how much I allude to Scandinavian naughtiness. I acquired the thermals for the second round... Continue reading
Posted Nov 26, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
Contrary to popular opinion, when it's foggy in London we don't all go out murdering prostitutes in Whitechapel or leaping into hansom cabs and crying, "To the Royal School of Needlework, and step on it!" (still my favourite Punch cartoon... Continue reading
Posted Nov 16, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
I 'heart' J K Galbraith. He also said, "There are times in politics when you must be on the right side and lose", which is of course what I'm going to do with this argument.
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In which Lucy goes on a march, has a rant and fails to be anywhere near the exciting scenes of protesters crashing through the windows of Tory HQ. She also uses her previous experience of rioting to take her sandwiches... Continue reading
Posted Nov 10, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
I have lovely feet. I mean, not normally. Normally I have gnarly feet with hairy toes and chipped nail varnish. But today they’re things of great beauty after I used my online discount voucher to have them oiled and pumiced... Continue reading
Posted Nov 6, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
I've been to the dentist today, having chipped my tooth on my plastic fangs. I sported the Hammer Horror Vampire Girlie look in a nightie, back-combed hair and fangs for Saturday's Halloween party. D, who had been working that day... Continue reading
Posted Nov 5, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
I've been bricked up in a medieval cell for crimes against public decency. Or, to put it another way, I'm sitting on my bed in a medieval house that's been turned into a hotel. Mind you, I'm only wearing a... Continue reading
Posted Oct 30, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
I know where I was; I was on the A4260 somewhere between Steeple Barton and Duns Tew when I saw the line of stationary cars stretching around the bend on the other side of the road. The one in front... Continue reading
Posted Oct 21, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
In the end I didn't bother trying to sneak out of the house in unsuitable clothes with a quart of vodka stuffed in my bra. "No," I said to myself in a pep talk in the bathroom mirror, "you're a... Continue reading
Posted Sep 17, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
Yes, the line, 'All hail Thorfinn Turf-Einarsson that shall be Earl of Orkney hereafter' appears in the First Folio of 1623 but is generally omitted from modern productions of the play on the grounds that it leaves the audience wondering who the big Norwegian bloke is.
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Any notions I might have had of welcoming D home from hospital by bustling about the place whisking cake mixture and striking attitudes with a feather duster while dressed only in heels and a frilly apron have been dashed by... Continue reading
Posted Sep 14, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
This season the well dressed man will be sporting a 2 inch scar accessorised with some surgical steel staples. D's laparoscopy turned into an open appendectomy due to infection, so now he's hopped up on antibiotics and not allowed home... Continue reading
Posted Sep 10, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
I diagnosed it straight away, and I’m a historian. D complained of tummy ache and pointed very specifically to the site of his appendix. “That’s your appendix,” I said. “No, no it isn’t,” he replied, hurriedly retracting his pointing finger... Continue reading
Posted Sep 9, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom
I’m conflicted about the London Sky Ride next Sunday. On the one hand, hooray for central London streets being closed to other traffic so cyclists can bimble about, getting in the way and eating KitKats. On the other hand, boo... Continue reading
Posted Aug 31, 2010 at Lucy's Bedroom