I'm a lawyer. I've read the Constitution and I like it as it is except for the following amendments: 17th, 19th, 23rd, 24th, & 26th. I have several old aeresol cans filled with CFCs and I spray one can into the air each morning. I don't recycle. I blast my AC all year long. I have a 1937 GE refrigerator that still runs where I keep my beer. I own guns that are not registered with any law enforcment agency. I smoke expensive tobacco wrapped in pages of the koran. I would bring back regular leaded gas. I wrap everything in bacon before I eat it. My favorite liberal is Dick Cheney. I believe we should bring back the requirement that one should own property before being allowed to vote. I am opposed to putting troops on the border when we have unmanned drones that are much more effective. I would rebuild the WTC Towers so that they are the highest buildings in the world and would put SAM batteries and statues of General Pershing and Charles Martel on the top.

Happy B-Day Iowahawk's Mom! I would like to offer my services for your upcomimg parole hearing. For the low payment of $5000, I may be able to see to it that certain members of the board are "sympathetic" to your case. Signed, Rod Blagojevich