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So who is the bigger ass, Rex Ryan or the CHB?
A case of the vagues
Mike: You know there's something to be said for this fallow period... Mike: Gives you a chance to kick back and decluttah the brain a bit. Bill: Yeah, well, I think I may have gone ovahboard with the decluttah. Bill: Eithah that or I'm just entering a ...
For Jeter, its all about the mystique and aura, if he gets more than 3 years from the MFY, it'll be mistake and error. GET IT DONE CASH!
You betcha
Al: I wish the Yankees and Jetah would just get it ovah with and agree on terms, because this Jetah and the Red Sox talk scary stuff. I mean some things are just not meant to happen. Doug: It would fuck up the entire universe. Mike: Seriously. Jetah goes to the Red...
I thought it a slight miscalculation not retaining Saito's services, he would have been worth a couple more wins out there. Hopefully Beckett and Lackey rededicate themselves over the offseason after their embarassing campaigns this year, Tito needs to have a very very short leash with Dice BB as well next season.
However, with that being said, If you could somehow maintain current production next year, add a dependable bp arm or two things look really bright.
Lisa the eBook Writer
Lisa the Temp: Hey, peeps, been awhile hasn't it? Lisa the Temp: Well, Lisa's been busy creating her self-published, eBook empire. Lisa the Temp: Gotta love the long tail, people. Lisa the Temp: What am I working on now? Oh, glad you asked. ...
I have a theory, to placate the fan base he makes token offers to both Beltre and V-Mart, lets both walk, prays Salty's thumb is ready to catch 90-100 games, resigns Tek to backup backstop and blows the wad on Crawford. Lowrie ends up at third, for now.
It's been an interesting season and a wonderful season of strips HB. I still want a season ending sweep of the mfys.
Now, where were we?
Al: I feel a queer sense of déjà vu. Doug: All ovah again. Mike: I could not stop for death, so he kindly stopped for me. Twice. Doug: Q: So how many Red Sox relievahs does it take to blow a save? A: N/A because saves are way fucking overrated. ...
It wasn't that the Sox were lousy, it was they were lousy and everybody, even Toronto was playing well. In addition, there always seemed to be a part of the team finding new ways to lose, parts that we thought would be awesome, whether it was shakey defense, or poor starting pitching or the bullpen screwin Wake outta wins, along with Papi's struggles. The first series in Fenway against TB was horrific, the opening series against the Yankees was tough as well. These are teams every Sox fan knows the Sox will have to battle throughout the season. It looked like our pitching and run prevention defense was rather impotent against the Yankees and the Rays. I'm still a little worried about Papelbon though.
It's up to them to carry us
Doug: Ah, hello, yes, er, I know I jumped off the stahting pitching bandwagon but now, you see, I was wondering if you could, like, maybe scoot ovah and make room for me to, you know, get back on and all? Mike: Srsly. Going at least 8 innings in 4 of the last 6 stahts... ...
You know, I have a feeling that BigBri might be a closet Sox fan, coming to a Sox fan blog to attempt to harrass us. He probably lives in a house full of yankee fans, but down in the basement bedroom in his closet he has a small shrine to Teddy Ballgame and Yaz.
If you're gonna lose a game might as well go all crazy wild with your pitches and plunk a couple of guys. I bet they won't stand in so comfortable the next time they face Beckett. Never know when he might groove one right for the earhole on the helmet.
My Inner Tavarez
Your omniscient author in absentia: OK, I'm having some issues with the day job that for today at least have crowded out all mental capacity to write a strip. Currently, it's taking pretty much all I've got to keep my inner Julian Batshit Tavarez locked up and prevented from going all kin...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruger_LCP apparently this is the gun he used, kind of a small caliber personal protection gun. Not exactly a .44 magnum.
Just can't hide it
Al: OMFG the Sox are on the precipice of a season first 3 game winning streak! Doug: Time to grease your no-no holes, fellas, because Destiny is wearing a strap on. Al: We are watching history unfold in real-time. Oooh, gina tingles. Mike: One small ste...
Is that a book or a European Man Clutch? Centaur Slappy McBluelips wishes to know.
Fade to sunset (rented)
Two guys walking, tall guy speaks: They are saying that Buchholz was "tremendous" in his loss. Two guys walking, short guy speaks: Did we have to lose the game, to save the game? Two guys walking, tall guy speaks: Indeed. Two guys walking, no words excha...
Kaz
The Sox already have 2 guys like that, Ortiz and Drew. Unfortunately Pedey has cooled off as well. I thought they could produce enough runs with speed and contact hitting, but they really need a threat there batting third so the first two guys see some pitches. Dunno, its gonna be a long frustrating season.
Fade to sunset (rented)
Two guys walking, tall guy speaks: They are saying that Buchholz was "tremendous" in his loss. Two guys walking, short guy speaks: Did we have to lose the game, to save the game? Two guys walking, tall guy speaks: Indeed. Two guys walking, no words excha...
I think you'll see Varitek be productive out of the backup catcher role throughout the season, he did have a slightly better than league average first part of the season last year.
This team however, cannot afford to carry Ortiz for two months. Tito needs to have a very short leash, since there are atleast two capable bench bats.
I'm all for cutting 60 day dling Ortiz bringing up Reddick to play right and slotting JD Drew as the DH if Papi's craptastic performance continues.
The pitching will get better, Beckett and Lester are just two starts into the season.
Everything counts in large amounts
Al: Wait a second, I know it's way, way too early to panic but I just have one question... Al: Are we sure it's too early to panic? Al: Because, you know, I feel a little, oh, what's the word I'm looking for? Al: Um... Panicked! Mike: Well...
I'm happy that I'll be able to watch the home opener tv here in TN, but having to listen to the bleeding Joe Morgan might drive me to ram a pen through each ear drum during the telecast.
Being inclined
Doug: OK, so this ESPN promo made me chuckle. Bill: The best paht is that the spot acknowledges that not everyone finds the whole Sweet Caroline thing an endearing piece of whimsy. Doug: Yeah, anti-Carolinite dudes like louclinton should feel a certain sense of vin...
There is nothing more American than being a fan of all things Boston, the very birthplace of our great nation. If the New Yorkers had their way we'd still be singing God Save The Queen.
I think Boston fans are the fourth estate of baseball. We call out our own when they do boneheaded things off and on the field, we appreciate great plays from all teams even those from the loathsome Yankees. All we want is to be acknoweledged that we have a pretty damn good ball team with arguably the most varied history of any American sports franchise.
Everything comes back in the Spring
Marty: I see your ilk are at it again, Callaghan. Nice real nice. Bill: Ah, if it isn't Mahty Small Maht. Marty: What's next, Bill? Lynching a guy in Yankees cap? That be par for the course for you redneck yahoos. Bill: I know it'll be difficult, perha...
Fucking Canada, and their fucking hockey teams, their horrible shit beer, their sorry excuse for bacon, aweful maple syrup, and their wimpy ass falling leaf emblem. There, I feel better now.
Stuck between the motion and the act
Your omniscient author in absentia: OK, After two full days of work-related training (and we ain't talking about the "Spring" variety), I am the Hollow Man, headpiece filled with straw, shape without form, shade without color... well, you get the idea. So no strip today. But I would lik...
I think HB is saying JD Drew isn't that 1 1/2" thick ribeye, he's your damned lima beans and he's good for you, dammit inspite of the craptastic taste and texture.
Capriciously yours
Doug: Well, well, well... there's hope for your dentally-challenged people back in the old country after all – whiskey flavored toothpaste. Bill: Heh. Speaking of doing the extra for good health, our favorite bariatric chambah sleepah gets some adoring pixels from Amelie B. ...
Not that anybody will see or read this post, cause tomorrow's strip is just about 8 hours away. It's like a perpetual advent calendar, always waiting for the next flash of brilliance from HB, anyways, I digress.
To toss around the Curse thing a bit, If I remember right, every Sox owner has won a world title except the Yawkeys. Even that twit Harry Frazee, got a world title from his team. I guess that's a bit too much digging for the CHB to do. Also it would take a bit of sack to level the curse at the sainted Mr. and Mrs. Yawkey. They have a street named for them after all. It's because of the Yawkeys the Sox missed out on Robinson and Mays and other black talent as well.
This team is run much like a microbrewery that decides to go nationwide with distribution. It'll be consistently good, it may or may not win a gold medal at this or that beer fest, cause it has to sacrifice a bit on the awesomeness it once had, it can't be as exacting in all it's ingredients as it once was so it can be taken to the masses. Still it's better that the Bud Light alternative (New York Yankees).
Money changers and temples
Susan/Circle: Wait, what's this?! Susan/Circle: Now Truck Day has a corporate sponsor? Susan/Circle: Oh, Capitalism, you Botoxed old whore you. Mike: "The 2010 Spring Training Truck Day presented by JetBlue Airways" Mike: Hmm...Jet Blue....
I feel like Jim Carey and almost wish to click on muslima.com. It's probably easier to convert a center fielder to left field than to convert a muslim to say rational athiesm, or atleast agnosticism.
Priorities, people
Doug: So the Iranian Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei says that on February 11th he's got some big friggin' news to delivah... Doug: But it's like, cleric-dude, c'mon... Everybody knows Truck Day is the 12th. Bill: Inshallah!
And try as the X-Games and Dew Tour might, these sports are only semi-relevant every 4 years.
Hammah Time
Mike: Is it me or is this the slowest offseason evah? Doug: Hot stove? Damn thing's not even piss warm. Mike: It's gotten so bad that even the baseball tidbit omnipresence that is Dave Pinto and Baseball Musings is finding it tough going. Doug: I tell ...
Yes it would be better if the freestyle skiers had to funnel a pitcher of beer, go head to head like that skicross format, and throw down big tricks stick the landings while their opponets are body checking them. But these guys wanna be taken seriously as athletes for playing in the snow. I blame the lawyers for taking the fun out of society. before long it'll be mandatory to wear a helment to go down the green dot trails. You can't even smoke on a skilift anymore let alone go barrelling down the slope wearing a beer helmet.
Hammah Time
Mike: Is it me or is this the slowest offseason evah? Doug: Hot stove? Damn thing's not even piss warm. Mike: It's gotten so bad that even the baseball tidbit omnipresence that is Dave Pinto and Baseball Musings is finding it tough going. Doug: I tell ...
Gosh Jeff, that Movie was HORRIBLE. The only redeeming part was the gratuitous nudity, I much prefered ski patrol.
Hammah Time
Mike: Is it me or is this the slowest offseason evah? Doug: Hot stove? Damn thing's not even piss warm. Mike: It's gotten so bad that even the baseball tidbit omnipresence that is Dave Pinto and Baseball Musings is finding it tough going. Doug: I tell ...
When I was 13-16 I really liked watching women figure skating, revealing costumes etc. etc. I'm waiting for a trendy canadian home show to have a couple that used reclaimed curling stones to make their granite counter tops. "It keeps these used unwanted rocks out of our landfills, so that there is more room for low grade radio-active waste."
Hammah Time
Mike: Is it me or is this the slowest offseason evah? Doug: Hot stove? Damn thing's not even piss warm. Mike: It's gotten so bad that even the baseball tidbit omnipresence that is Dave Pinto and Baseball Musings is finding it tough going. Doug: I tell ...
Isn't it Doctor Ralph Stanley? and his 2008 release, Old Time Pickin' is old timey music done by a master.
On the other side of the coin, I know of T.I. and Kanye and Ke$ha, but I don't think I could pick a tune of theirs out of 100.
Teeth to the left of me! Gums to the right of me!
Bill: Lost final season, episodes 1 and 2? Doug: Dude, I had every friggin intention of watching Bill: But... Doug: But I was hit with a sudden onset of acute chronchitis. Doug: And the next thing you know I was eating a mound of chicken br...
I may be a pig, but hardly an elitist. I just don't trust any monopoly including all the current government monopolies. Nor do I trust those they farm out to the private sector so that memembers of the government can get kickbacks in the form of campaign contribution. Power corrupts.
One for you, nineteen for me
Your omniscient author in absentia: OK, I lost track of time this morning while trying to do a few more Turbo Tax tweaks in an attempt to reduce the amount I owe to the Federales. As a result, no strip today. Worse, I still owe. But could be worse. Could be a lot worse. And on that ...
Just imagine a world with a consumtion tax instead of the dreaded income tax and all the paper and bureaucracy that the income tax brings.
No more IRS, no more auditors, no more property siezures without due process.
And the FAFSA is almost enough to make a kid wanna drop out.
One for you, nineteen for me
Your omniscient author in absentia: OK, I lost track of time this morning while trying to do a few more Turbo Tax tweaks in an attempt to reduce the amount I owe to the Federales. As a result, no strip today. Worse, I still owe. But could be worse. Could be a lot worse. And on that ...
So the last panel would be the area rug to today's strip?
One idiot short of a bunch
Mike: Ah, sweet karma — Johnny Damon and his buddy Boras just priced themselves out of anothah mahket. Bill: That's gotta sting a bit. Mike: Seriously, when the richest team in the game says they can't afford you when you know deep down they can easily afford you b...
Jeff, it sounds as if you're a closet Libertarian, it's ok, there are many of them out there. Step into the light and reclaim your freedom, your sense of self determination.
My prediction for the sox... Scutaro relapses from last year, slumps, and is injured and the Sox scramble to find stability in the infield yet again.
This blog climbed Mount Washington
Al: Jeez, first New Hampshire's Old Man of the Mountain goes all Humpty Dumpty... Al: The the "Live Free or Die" motto is called "unfriendly" ... Al: And now Mount Washington loses the 6 decade record for the fastest wind gust ever recorded on Earth. Al:...
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