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I am the goddess, innit?
Recent Activity
when was the last time I blogged here? I can't remember. For a long time, I didn't feel like blogging. Walking on the Blackfriars Bridge today suddenly made me feel like blogging - about how much I am loving my life now, how much I love living in London and... Continue reading
Posted Oct 12, 2015 at ferment and frolic
"I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound or stab us. If the book we're reading doesn't wake us up with a blow to the head, what are we reading for? So that it will make us happy, as you write? Good Lord, we would... Continue reading
Posted Apr 28, 2014 at ferment and frolic
I know traveling all over the world is glamorous. I have done this before and I gave up the glamorous job to get married and raise a family. No regrets, it was my choice. And in the end I wasn't happy with it. I felt trapped because what's the point... Continue reading
Posted Apr 24, 2014 at ferment and frolic
Do you mind, he asked? Yes. I feel like I am in a Long Distance Relationship and I don't do Long Distance Relationship. I won't be seeing him again until May and although I am very aware about this and knew this since March, the reality is different. Things are... Continue reading
Posted Apr 24, 2014 at ferment and frolic
We were sipping Champagne when he came, stood next to me, introduced himself and asked me for my number. Just like that. I smiled and asked if he enjoyed Manon. He said he hoped it will improve in the second act. B was charmed and immediately started to engage him... Continue reading
Posted Feb 15, 2014 at ferment and frolic
Woody Allen said 80% of success is showing up. I think I learnt this from my children. They want everything now. We trained each other to adjust to each other's timing. I slow them down, taught them delayed gratification and patience. They taught me how to juggle, prioritise and they... Continue reading
Posted May 5, 2013 at ferment and frolic
my friends know one thing about me - I love a well made chocolate cake. I haven't had one for a very long time. I am trying to remember the last time I had the most satisfying one. Well maybe in Paris in 2011. But after that... none. Not since... Continue reading
Posted Apr 29, 2013 at ferment and frolic
It's been delicious few weeks. Sun kissed skin, warm and cold wind. Shedding layers. Today I decided to go to my old hood, walk around the market then the canals towards Angel and then Camden. Funny... we started with wanting to go to Soho for brunch. But changed our minds... Continue reading
Posted Apr 21, 2013 at ferment and frolic
Here it is, as translated by W. S. Merwin: Every day you play with the light of the universe. Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and the water. You are more than this white head that I hold tightly as a cluster of fruit, every day, between my hands.... Continue reading
Posted Apr 14, 2013 at ferment and frolic
If you don't want to be with me, you should stop making it difficult ... impossible for me to be with another woman. How do I make it difficult for you? You know by sitting there, talking like this, making that move with your face, laughing... as long as I... Continue reading
Posted Apr 10, 2013 at ferment and frolic
this morning talking on the phone with Marc, he told me how much fun it was last night. "I wish we had more time alone," I told him. Yesterday was spent having tea with Ezra and Olga then he joined us after hsi lecture. After that the three of us... Continue reading
Posted Mar 12, 2013 at ferment and frolic
you caught me once, censoring myself and chuckled and you said, "what? you're censoring yourself? now that was a first" I don't talk about you with my friends. I can't write about you. Everytime I tried to talk about you, every word sounds cheesy or clumsy and everything else seem... Continue reading
Posted Mar 9, 2013 at ferment and frolic
"in 2013, I want to meet a girl who is more interesting than the content of your refridgerator," he whispered. Kissing my forehead. "Bon Aannée, Mango." Marc is my closest male buddy in London. We both love the art, photography, maths, literature and cooking. We talk about people a lot,... Continue reading
Posted Mar 8, 2013 at ferment and frolic
yesterday, at the interview for National Insurance Number (NiNo), the officer asked if I have lived in another country in the European Union other than the UK and Netherlands. I told him I lived in Paris for 2 years in 2002-2004 and gave him my address. He asked what I... Continue reading
Posted Mar 6, 2013 at ferment and frolic
apakah aku yang bersalah... hanya bertepuk tangan, sebelah saja? Continue reading
Posted Mar 6, 2013 at ferment and frolic
or is there? C S Lewis said “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” That magical moment often made me feel like I have been found. More than found, it was kismet. I was understood... Continue reading
Posted Feb 17, 2013 at ferment and frolic
oh yes why not? Continue reading
Posted Feb 15, 2013 at punctum temporis
I feel lucky everyday, even when I don't get to wake up next to you. That's when I realised I have fallen deeply in love with you. Continue reading
Posted Sep 8, 2012 at ferment and frolic
“To hell, to hell with balance! I break glasses; I want to burn, even if I break myself. I want to live only for ecstasy. Nothing else affects me. Small doses, moderate loves, all half-shades, leave me cold. I like extravagance, heat. Letters which give the postman a stiff back... Continue reading
Posted Sep 8, 2012 at ferment and frolic
Pushing my trolley about in the supermarket; I am the centre of the universe; Up and down the aisles of beans and juices, I am the centre of the universe; It does not matter that I live alone; It does not matter that I am a jilted lover; It does... Continue reading
Posted Aug 29, 2012 at ferment and frolic
my love, I was reading the review of Paul Auster's new memoir in the Guardian today. They hated it. They said his self mythologisation was epic. And the best thing in it apparently was the co-op notes chapter written by his wife. Which reminded me of what you said a... Continue reading
Posted Aug 15, 2012 at ferment and frolic
Find that flame, that existence, That Wonderful Man Who can burn beneath the water. No other kind of light Will cook the food you Need. Hafiz Continue reading
Posted Jul 31, 2012 at ferment and frolic
so we talk while I work on my essay awhile he makes pancakes - in two different continents. we talked about the past, I cried throughout. He let me stutter through my pain and talked non stop. He didn't interrupt. I saw him whisking the batter and moving about his... Continue reading
Posted Jul 29, 2012 at ferment and frolic
last year a lot of my status messages sound like this, "i want a different narrative" and what a year it has been. July has always been a time for renewal... a friend told me that when he was seperated from his wife, he fell in love every week. He... Continue reading
Posted Jul 13, 2012 at ferment and frolic
The Little Prince went to look at the roses again. “You’re not at all like my rose. You’re nothing at all yet,” he told them. “No one has tamed you and you haven’t tamed anyone. You’re the way my fox was. He was just a fox like a hundred thousand... Continue reading
Posted Jul 12, 2012 at ferment and frolic