This is Marion Groves's Typepad Profile.
Join Typepad and start following Marion Groves's activity
Join Now!
Already a member? Sign In
Marion Groves
Recent Activity
Yes -- the old ways bring comfort and familiarity, even if painful; change and choice bring uncertainty. Trust remains a key factor when facing that long leap into darkness or, rather, when just sitting still long enough to "be" willing to notice, to respond, to accept and to move on without judgment or fear of the truth. The force of love awaits in the quiet and fuels conscious action. Happiness/peace/contentment live there, I think.
I remember going to school many evenings as I knew in my heart that it was time to prepare a change from my part time work at the colleges, and self employment to a full time position, with benefits, in special education. As a single mom, I was fortunate to work at a school that paid half of the college tuition; it was the middle/ high school my son attended (this made parenting as easy as it could be at that time). After night school, working as a paraprofessional, practice teaching and helping out with other teaching duties at this school for 6 years, I was shocked that the school did not consider me for an open teaching position. I was upset, personally affronted and hard on myself; I felt shamed, insecure and incapable. I proceeded to apply for jobs- a new and challenging action as my identity for years was based on singing, performing and teaching voice. I faced a Sea Change. I remember my first interview. Talk about nervousness, anxiety , and fear! A huge conference table filed with all the city administrators from various schools and programs (at least 10)loomed before me as I walked in the huge wooden door. WOW---something clicked and the nerves and doubts flew out the window. I looked at them all from the "hot" seat and expressed my surprise and amazement at how intimidating it all looked and how surprising it was to see all of them. I laughed. Somehow I was myself and able to answer questions candidly and honestly, without apologies and/or self recrimination. They offered me a job, on the spot, and the choice of which program I preferred (of course my inner voice reminded me that they were desperate). Long story short- I chose a reading teacher position at a middle school; after meeting the administrator and my "teacher mentor" and seeing a room that looked like a prison cell, I panicked. Feeling the environment in my gut, the message was "Get Out"!! - Sorting out fear from inner wisdom brought torment, shame and physical anxiety/paralysis. I was confused and tossed about- desperate to have employment but extremely aware that it looked like a set up for failure. I wasn't allowed access my room until 2 weeks before school, the mentor clearly resented my presence and the atmosphere was downright nasty, for whatever reason. At the peak of my dilemma, just before the start of the school year, I received an unsolicited call to come in for an interview at another school(a person gave my name during her interview). I interviewed, took the new job and let the other school know I would not be coming. I never trusted that a solution would unfold during this time. Many actions were based on the fear that, after my husband had passed away, I had to better provide for my son and I. In retrospect, I learned that honoring my "gut" matters. To better sort out the inner doubt, fear and panic from the wisdom remains a challenge. As I continue to learn that trusting the process, trusting in my own inner wisdom and trusting that my willingness to take action teamed up with God's plan for me, WORKS. Believing that I am not alone, even when it feels so lonely, allows me to live in more than one dimension. I pray I can remember this while sorting through current decisions for change.
Young people need this. I just made a comment and it didn't get through or printed. This is so important- giving knowledge and the tools of self awareness and building confidence in the earlier years can prevent a heck of a lot of damage control later in life. Schools don't do this. Les Brown had one teacher who changed the trajectory of his entire life- who gave him the message that he was able to learn- that he must stop listening to those who said he couldn't. Research on resiliency shows that one person can make a life changing difference-- in one moment!! If we all remembered that consciously each moment, think of the impact. I believe Peggy's initiative is powerful and I predict massive momentum. Thank you Peggy.
Marion Groves is now following Practical Happiness
Jan 23, 2011
Marion Groves is now following The Typepad Team
Nov 6, 2010