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My brothers have not spoken to me for years. While I can guess why they hold grudges, I only guess. One brother told me he was not going to talk to me, and not tell me why. I can only suspect it is about my attempts to be treated equally by my parents, especially my mother. They are old school and intend to leave everything to one brother. Primogeniture in this day and age. I became more open and direct than anyone else in the family, but they, waspy non expressives, prefer silent grudges. I also became Catholic, a sore point in my Methodist family. It is sad because I have happy memories of both brothers. I believe that, because I was the one who travelled, changed, moved, etc. that my family created stories myths,etc that made me the Other, that made me the blamed. If you blame the direct, but far away family member, then the family system remains intact and doesn't have to change, grow, accept other possible interpretations of their truth. What bothers me is that I only vaguely understood I was shut out which is very gas lighting and makes me paranoid. Both brothers give me one word answers. One asks how I am in front of family but otherwise snubs me. The other almost leered in that he was never going to tell me my sins. I have guesses but otherwise no clue which lapse in my character, other than a direct, tart tongue, did the job. I think it is, as I said, I am an outsider and they created a reality scapegoating me and blaming me so that no one has to deal with communication and working on love and understanding. I fully expect to receive no inheritance and no further communication once my mom passes. Family is important, but if it is too cruel and painful, it is better to create your own family and friends. I feel so glad to have seen your blog and these comments.
Missustoad added a favorite at Disowned Child
Jul 11, 2012
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Jul 11, 2012