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Nancie aka Gun Tart
More Books Please!
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Wow! I can't even express how much I will miss the daily musings of the Tarts. I've been fortunate enough to meet quite a few of the Tarts and many of the backbloggers in person. Harley's house has become my favorite vacation spot and I'm happy to learn she's keeping me.
The RT Convention in Daytona was my first RT, and the best. I got to meet the Tarts in person and it was the greatest time ever!
I will always be grateful to the Tarts for allowing a backblogger to guest blog on TLC on several occasions. You have no idea what that meant, and still means, to me.
The journey has never been dull, full of wonderful scenery, and best of all, there was always fantastic company along the way.
A huge thank you to all the Book Tarts, past and present, for creating this community and bringing us together to share the ride with you.
The Party's Over
All Good Things Must Come to an End by Nancy Martin Get out your hankies, folks. We started The Lipstick Chronicles in May of 2005 when Harley Jane Kozak, Sarah Strohmeyer, Susan McBride and I met at the Romantic Times Convention in St. Louis and decided we’d band together to ...
All right you got the rabbit, way cool! I've never been able to hit that speedy little clay. Nancy, come on down anytime and I'll teach you handguns and get rid of the fear.
Karen, women are generally better shooters.
We Had a Blast
We Had a Blast By Nancy Martin My husband fusses that he never wins anything. I think he reached that conclusion after entering the Publisher’s Clearinghouse three times---without winning so much as a wink from Ed McMahon. A month ago, though, he attended a charity auction. (I declined to...
Yes, the thing needs to be destroyed! There is no need to contract out for a hit when you know people who will do this for you at no charge. I'll bring the shotgun and a few slugs; problem solved.
If you prefer not to have the carcass left in your kitchen, I'll send the guys over to remove it and we'll add it to the pile of office equipment scheduled for execution at the range.
The Dishwasher Must Die!
by Harley Ever notice how fiction’s bad guys these days are always the Russian mob, or the Ukranians? It’s like we recycled old Cold War characters, dressing them up in capitalism and leather jackets. I’m guilty of it myself, in my 4th novel--and before you start yelling “xenophobe!” let me s...
A TLC trip to the gun range? Now that would be fun! A blastin' party can be arranged for the TLC group with pleasure.
Festivity
Festivity by Nancy Martin Some weeks, there's more to blog about than we have space to fill here at TLC. Bid Laden's death, the royal wedding night, my favorite sports event--the Kentucky Derby, and the president's speech at the DC Correspondent's Dinner. (When Mr. Obama made the joke about ...
All right William! Way to go! Woo-Hoo!
Hell Yeah! How about some GOOD news?!
Hell Yeah! How about some GOOD news?! By Kathy Reschini Sweeney, with help First great news first - in the words of our very own Will Graham, man of the blog and mainstay of the backblog: International Thriller Writers (ITW) does a bi-annual anthology series titled THRILLER; 1 was edited by Jam...
This is why I love going to visit Harley I never know what is going to happen. We hit the first shelter within an hour of my arrival and so the quest began.
So Harley shall I be preparing for Operation Ooga Ooga Baby Baby on my next visit?
Lick My Face
by Harley Last month I acquired a new vice. Okay, an addiction. Okay, an obsession. It started out innocently. Our beloved dog Jinn shuffled off her mortal coil in late September and loped off to that Great Meadow in the Sky. She left behind 6 broken hearts, one belonging to Fez, our other dog...
Ah Rita, we weren’t done with you yet.
I will miss her comments and her contributions to TLC. You could always count on Rita for a good story and a great remark.
TLC has the best bunch of people in cyberspace and I’ve been lucky to have met many of you in person and the rest here on the blog. I may not comment often but I always read you daily to keep everyone with me.
Missing Rita
By Elaine Viets "I wish mosquitos sucked fat instead of blood." "I never gave guys a random phone number. I always gave the number of the police department!" "Inside every old person is a younger person wondering what the fuck happened." These are some of my favorite quotes from Rita Heene...
Nancy, no harm done. I would make a trip, stumble and biff it type exit in my case so I admire your exit style.
The 4H blog:
Hank, Harley, Heather, Hats Because there are too few things you can count on in this world, TLC promises you that Mondays will always feature an author whose name begins with the letter “H.” Why? Because we can. And some Mondays, you’ll get us all. To quote the great Stephen Sondheim, “Does a...
Laraine, sign me up for a Nancy(ie) Day.
I do wear a baseball hat at work, but not because I look good in one. I wear it to keep the unruly hair semi-tamed when the wind kicks up, otherwise I look like I stole Roseanne Roseannadanna's wig. When the wind is really whipping, Yahoo Serious, is looking for me to have a word about copying his look.
The 4H blog:
Hank, Harley, Heather, Hats Because there are too few things you can count on in this world, TLC promises you that Mondays will always feature an author whose name begins with the letter “H.” Why? Because we can. And some Mondays, you’ll get us all. To quote the great Stephen Sondheim, “Does a...
Wow, thanks everyone!! As Harley pointed out she was a day early but I'll take all the good wishes to work with me tomorrow.
Harley, listen to Ramona and Becky, you need to see Galaxy Quest. A definite classic with some great quotable lines.
West of Eden
by Harley Springtime ends this morning at 7:28 a.m. east coast time, but for me, real summer started last week. I left my home in L.A. to teach for 5 days at the Nebraska Summer Writers Conference. It’s a fabulous conference. Especially if you live in Nebraska. For anyone who has to travel to ge...
I will miss the phone calls and the great conversations with my favorite kids about the latest contestants in the running for a place at the new Animal Kingdom in the LA area. The funniest phone calls I have received in a long time.
Harley, the topic of tortoise sex never came up until now and I don't even want to know how you found that video. I will ease your mind though, as Hermann's won't start breeding until at least 6 years of age and it could be up to ten years of age before they consummate their relationship; plus the conditions must be right. If you withhold Barry White tunes, wine, mood lighting and veggies served by candlelight I think they can reside in your son's room without creating an educational event for you to explain.
Kathy, did I ever tell you about meeting the Grim Reaper when I lived in Canada? If not, you'll appreciate it.
Tortoise Sex and other birthday, uh, gifts
by Harley To all the soldiers who’ve gone on to the great barracks in the sky, we will not forget you . . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ka3Miv9tMQ&feature=related Yes, it’s Memorial Day. It’s also . . . Bob’s birthday. Bob, if you’re new to the blog, is my family’s mannequin. Last year, ...
Karen, sorry to have missed you and Mary-bummer!
Me, Margie was absent at RT, which I found strange until I heard half the cover models didn't show up. Mystery solved.
Harley missed some blog fodder while she was in rehearsal but I have a few items to report for the blog. The problem with my reporting methods is I do not write down facts as they occur so a few things will be lacking in accuracy.
We shared the hotel with a few other conferences, such as OFDA, or Ohio Funeral Directors Association. I tried to score some coffins for the Vampire Ball, but had no success in this mission. I discovered one author in the bar received one of their handy measurement tapes with markings to measure the width of your ass to determine if you would fit in a standard coffin. According to the story she was having a grand time with her new toy in the bar.
The Christian Women something or other were there for a conference of sorts and I'm sure they were enjoying the enormous books covers featuring man/man romance plastered on columns in the hotel.
I did see a bishop in full garb blessing a woman across from the RT registration area and while RT is known for the parties and costumes I don't think he was part of our convention. Now, the nun wandering through the Vampire Ball could've been an attendee of RT or completely lost-this one is a hard call to make.
Early Childhood Development attendees were ogling the cover models and attacking the promo table snatching the erotic bookmarks by the handfuls-it reminded me of fishermen chumming for sharks.
Saturday the arrival of the Methodists amused me further. Who books these conferences together?
One of the fun parts of attending writer conferences is "stalking" your favorite authors in good fun, but one author informed me two crazed fans tracked her down and showed up on her doorstep, and there was a nutcase lurking around the convention several nights in a row with a folder of all the character analysis she had done on every book this author had ever written. I hope she has been recaptured by now and they tighten her restraints.
And that folks is RT this year in a nutshell.
Where's the Fire?
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Our Hank won the Agatha Award! WHERE’S THE FIRE? by Harley I spent the weekend in Ohio, at the Romantic Times Convention, an orgy of free chocolates, erotic bookmarks, winged faeries, and . . . The Vampire Ball. The Vampire Ball is vital to my well-being, because each year...
William, I know a guy that can pull off your recommended retaliation with ease, and I almost wet my pants the first time he did it. I can’t pull that one off yet without laughing but I’m working on it.
Laraine, it’s hard to determine my exact reaction at the moment, but laughter probably would’ve prevailed. I may also have inquired how many human body parts he had thawing out for dinner and his preferred method for cooking the meat? Although just remaining silent and following him around Staples staring intensely has some twisted appeal to me.
Laura, people are nuts indeed! I always wonder what makes people act to such an irrational extreme they will injure or kill someone in a moment of stupidity fueled by anger. A mind boggling concept to me.
Hitler & the Communists: The Blog!
Please welcome our own Nancie-the-Gun-Tart. She’s been pretty quiet of late, but don’t let that fool you. She’s always lurking. Because that’s just the sort of Communist she is. Hitler and Communists: The Blog! by Nancie-the-Gun-Tart A guy at work last week called me a Communist and judging by h...
Interesting that Mr. Typepad posted my original comment again when I read something different in the box.
Marie, maybe we should take the collective responses to the name-callers and use this as the material to build the shield.
Laraine, I must say that guy was a piece of work, and his mother must be so proud of him. Yeesh!
I will admit I don’t always have the fast and great response so I try to fall back on the blank look with no response. And I’m not totally cool in all situations, but I’m getting better.
I steer clear of online debating because I think acknowledging the ignorant and angry comments gives them power to proceed forth and infect others.
I agree Rod, it’s quite an interesting display to watch someone get upset and then bash someone else in the same manner in the same sentence. I’m awe struck myself by this feat.
Thanks Toni! I do use the thank you method for noticing my title of Bitch and appreciate the time they took out of their busy schedule to recognize my hard work at achieving this distinction.
Thanks Laura, and I’m currently watching Season 2 of The Big Bang Theory as I read the blog. I adore Sheldon! Come on down and spend some time here. I have you rethinking what you want to be when you grow up in 24 hours.
Hitler & the Communists: The Blog!
Please welcome our own Nancie-the-Gun-Tart. She’s been pretty quiet of late, but don’t let that fool you. She’s always lurking. Because that’s just the sort of Communist she is. Hitler and Communists: The Blog! by Nancie-the-Gun-Tart A guy at work last week called me a Communist and judging by h...
And I’m back!
Harley, I can’t carry books with 3-4 cell phones, knife, flashlight, 2 sets of keys, and the list goes on.
I must ask what a Pitch Bitch is, Nancy, as I just get called bitch. Am I missing out on another name in which to pad my resume? Thanks for the nod and you know how excited I get when I receive an email with the subject line: I need a gun.
Kathy, I’m a little concerned I haven’t been called a Socialist, but I have faith it will occur. And to answer your question, a safe program is the end goal.
Another great response, Phyllis, and I shall use that one in the future.
Kerry, I’m always happy to help fellow Tarts in future endeavors where the breakdown of civilized conversation could disintegrate.
Thanks Alan, I do my best to conform to all factions so no one group feels left out.
Hitler & the Communists: The Blog!
Please welcome our own Nancie-the-Gun-Tart. She’s been pretty quiet of late, but don’t let that fool you. She’s always lurking. Because that’s just the sort of Communist she is. Hitler and Communists: The Blog! by Nancie-the-Gun-Tart A guy at work last week called me a Communist and judging by h...
And I’m back!
Harley, I can’t carry books with 3-4 cell phones, knife, flashlight, 2 sets of keys, and the list goes on.
I must ask what a Pitch Bitch is, Nancy, as I just get called bitch. Am I missing out on another name in which to pad my resume? Thanks for the nod and you know how excited I get when I receive an email with the subject line: I need a gun.
Kathy, I’m a little concerned I haven’t been called a Socialist, but I have faith it will occur. And to answer your question, a safe program is the end goal.
Another great response, Phyllis, and I shall use that one in the future.
Kerry, I’m always happy to help fellow Tarts in future endeavors where the breakdown of civilized conversation could disintegrate.
Thanks Alan, I do my best to conform to all factions so no one group feels left out.
Hitler & the Communists: The Blog!
Please welcome our own Nancie-the-Gun-Tart. She’s been pretty quiet of late, but don’t let that fool you. She’s always lurking. Because that’s just the sort of Communist she is. Hitler and Communists: The Blog! by Nancie-the-Gun-Tart A guy at work last week called me a Communist and judging by h...
This all revolves around my job and in many cases I have to correct customers or tell them no to questions they ask. The result is unhappy people even while I phrase the response politely including please, thank you and we appreciate your cooperation.
I get to add alarmist and elitist because I stated, “I disagree,” to someone I know. The interesting part was I didn’t state my reasons for disagreeing, mostly because I wasn’t given a chance before they became very upset and labeling ensued, but they were happy to cite my reasons for disagreeing with them which justified the new names they bestowed upon me. “Huh, I wasn’t even thinking down that path but thank you for enlightening me to the fact you have utterly failed at mind reading,” and I wandered away.
I’m off to work so I will be unable to comment for most of the day but I will respond when I return late this afternoon.
Hitler & the Communists: The Blog!
Please welcome our own Nancie-the-Gun-Tart. She’s been pretty quiet of late, but don’t let that fool you. She’s always lurking. Because that’s just the sort of Communist she is. Hitler and Communists: The Blog! by Nancie-the-Gun-Tart A guy at work last week called me a Communist and judging by h...
The dress is gorgeous-wow!
I can’t say enough good things about Nancy’s new book, so to keep it short I’ll just say it is a must read.
Kathy and I have your back Nancy so don’t worry about those goobers. Do us a favor and keep Margie distracted while we deal with them since clean up after she gets through with them is a real bitch.
Say Yes, it's the Dress!
Say Yes, it's the Dress! by Nancy (who is so sick of talking about my book launch, that you surely must be, too. So let's forget about it for a few paragraphs today!) A week ago, my two daughters and I left my adorable grandson in the care of his grandfather for an afternoon and went shopp...
Oh yes, slide bites, scope eye and revolver burns are frequent occurrences at the range. Scope eye, caused by failing to leave adequate space between the scope and your face when firing the rifle, leaves a nasty half circle gash in the forehead requiring stitches in most cases. Revolver burns occur when the shooter wraps his hand around the cylinder and the hot gases expelled after the shot is fired can split the skin on your hand open, but we generally deal with a finger or thumb injury in these cases.
I'm off to work to pass out band aids.
The Dustbin of History
Yes, he’s back. Because the man’s a blog machine, because there are sentences here that will make Nancie-the-Gun-Tart shoot first and ask questions later, and because we can’t get enough of those Rod + Xena comments . . . The Dustbin of History By Rod "also answers to Rob" Pennington It can ...
1700 and still as entertaining as ever.
I was also one of the lucky ones to preview Our Lady of Immaculate Deception and I love Roxy and can't wait for the next one!
The Good News/Bad News Blog
The Good News/Bad News Blog by Nancy (whose book comes out next week!) The good news? Today marks our 1700th blog here at TLC. Amazing, right? The bad news? My grandson is here, and therefore I have insufficient time to pay the proper respect to this momentous TLC anniversary. Bobby is...
Potting soil?!? If you're getting that shipment does that mean the snow shovels are on their way to me in Phoenix?
Little House on the Parkway
Little House on the Parkway By Kathy Sweeney, modern day pioneer stock, filling in for Sarah this Tuesday It was February 5th. For days, the local weatherfreaks had been building up the panic. By Friday morning, when there was not one flake of snow to be had, we started to bitch. "Here we g...
Sarah, I could drive you around South Phoenix and we could get into a rolling gun battle so you'll have a great story to tell about the bullet wound scar.
My best scars came from being crushed between a car and a pickup at the age of eight and the numerous surgeries to fix me. My traction scar from this accident can be used as a bullet wound scar. "Yep, it went clean through." I've also got a half moon scar on my right arch from the brilliant plan to stomp on a semi broken bottle to break it, unfortunately, the bottle wasn't receptive to the plan and in retaliation flipped up and stabbed me in the foot.
Every Scar Tells a Story
By Sarah A week ago Sunday, I was about to take my dog for a walk on a lovely, brisk autumn day when behind me the front door slammed. Right on my left middle finger. This is the part where, if you're eating breakfast, you might want to hold off on reading the rest. At first, I thought I had...
William, having been born in the South I could see the trooper but he had a resemblance to Foghorn Leghorn in my mind.
Ahhh, Marijuana Season
Ahhh, Marijuana Season.... By Sarah As you read this, I'll probably be driving down to Pennsylvania to take our daughter to college. Finally. This, I believe, is a miracle in itself since I was not too sure she was going to make it through the summer alive, what with various parties and a boyfr...
Ahem, about that sprinkler system, she forgot to mention someone completely inept at anything in the category of yard stuff was the one to reset the control panel and the timer.
When she cuts a plea deal and rats me out to the Dept. of Water and Power could someone bail me out?
Dog Days
Dog Days by Harley Ah, the Dog Days of summer. 4th of July fireworks long gone, and back-to-school bell not yet sounded (except at Staples). Dog Days. In L.A., drought conditions mean watering lawns Mondays and Thursdays only. Which I applaud, but cannot explain to my sprinkler, which is possess...
You’re welcome. Would Bob like a shirt to match the hat? I might be able to get him one. What size is he?
Blog of Bob
Blog of Bob By Harley For those of you who’ve been following along here at TLC, the answer is yes. Yes, I bought my son a mannequin for his 7th birthday. Mannequin Bob showed up last week in a large box. He’s got a nice tan, frosty blond coiffed hair, blue eyes, and a manly physique somewhat un...
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