Hi Kim, I've read your blog for awhile, but don't comment much. Today, I had to. I also turned 52 in June, and feel that each year is a milestone I've reached. I lost my mother when I was 5, she was 44; I lost my dad when I was 13, he was 57; I lost a brother when I was 21, he was 41; I lost my other brother when I was 24, he was 39. Each loss made me stronger in some ways, but like you, deathly afraid of abandonment. For that reason, we (you and I) must always find something to connect to that will never leave. For me, that is reading and crafts, so reading craft blogs is pure bliss. I will definitely be watching for your return. Have fun in the meantime! Hugs, Nancy