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N. Hawekotte
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Why start at the beginning? 2. "The dress was spattered and torn--ruined." Or, less dramatically: "The dress was spattered, torn, and ruined." (I just can't get comfortable with that second comma rule). 3. Style. "...wish I had a dog or a cat, or a gerbil." (add a beat, as in "hey, maybe even a gerbil." It *is* an odd turn). 4. Agree that this is style, which would unravel with the swap of "ands" for commas and addition of "it was committed." 5. lower case b in "but." 7. What a curious sentence, and seems context-dependent. It could be revised to "were obtained between examples," but seems more likely that the purists would "*insist* that strict parallels *be* obtained between examples." 8. When the mayor learned that [delete "the"] pilot Charles Lindbergh was in town, he threw a party. 9. Ditch the redundancy and punctuation: "Her omelettes inspired several new lines of thought about the use of eggs that are now central to culinary theory." Say if quickly, and there's no inference that eggs are central to c.t., even if they are. That was fun!
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Oct 20, 2010