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NCL-AMS-ZUR A brief trip to Zürich, just five days, to teach a seminar at the Institut. I really don’t travel much these days, do I?... dusting a suitcase, running through the list I made years ago when I was studying... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at in the hall of mirrors
An unexpected rediscovery.... A new masters student wanted to talk about archetypes and music – she is composing a set of songs, she came over on her bike today, when it was cold and windy, when trash had blown onto... Continue reading
Posted Dec 28, 2023 at in the hall of mirrors
A night when, wakeful from minor physical discomforts, I think of different paths, different ways my life might have gone. I’ve done this before of course – as someone who spent a lot of time reading science fiction and fantasy... Continue reading
Posted Aug 28, 2023 at in the hall of mirrors
The prospect of the new Bernstein film is dislocating me a bit, back to the late 60s and 70s.... recordings of the Rite, Sinfonia, El Salón Mexico; Stravinsky, Beethoven, Copland, Foss, many others... my record player in the room shared... Continue reading
Posted Aug 20, 2023 at in the hall of mirrors
Crossing from one year to the next.... This year has been one of separations and endings. In fact, more than ever in my life, I've made many breaks – but without having to do so, and at my own speed.... Continue reading
Posted Dec 31, 2022 at in the hall of mirrors
Anniversary of this blog... sixteen years. A few days ago, really, on Saturday, but this is close enough. No, the blog doesn't feel dead to me, I'm still here for it, and it for me. I retired from the university... Continue reading
Posted May 16, 2022 at in the hall of mirrors
A friend who is a priest, as well as a skilled teacher of theology, was talking to me about his mood… he said that he is bringing a message of joy to people, but lockdown is difficult, he finds his... Continue reading
Posted Dec 21, 2021 at in the hall of mirrors
Brian Dillon, Essayism. He writes beautifully, and has become famous by doing it. Actually I'd never heard of him until I started noticing those Fitzcarraldo Editions – are they named for somebody involved, or for Herzog's strange movie, and the... Continue reading
Posted Jun 15, 2021 at in the hall of mirrors
June 5 is HIV Long-Term Survivors Day – it's actually a fairly recent phenomenon, with varied definitions. It's 5 June because that's when an article talking about five cases first appeared in the press, so – as in the work... Continue reading
Posted Jun 5, 2021 at in the hall of mirrors
A few days ago was the fifteenth anniversary of this blog – 14 May 2006. I wanted to finish a blog entry from September 2019 – so a bit more than a year and a half ago – a fairly... Continue reading
Posted May 21, 2021 at in the hall of mirrors
[A post drafted in late November 2020; I have moved on from these things, a bit... and incidentally am now firmly of age, at 64. I apologize for the fragmentation: unfinished work, with later attempts to recapture some of the... Continue reading
Posted Feb 11, 2021 at in the hall of mirrors
It is, approximately, the last warm day (or, the "last," "warm" day). Which means that today was in the low 70s – warm for the North Sea – and tomorrow is a fading version of the same, without sun. Then... Continue reading
Posted Sep 14, 2020 at in the hall of mirrors
I am a bit tired today – a mistake in minor medications, a mildly bad night... and, as so often, I only realized at about five or six a.m. what the obvious mistake must have been, and why my guts... Continue reading
Posted Jun 21, 2020 at in the hall of mirrors
The image seems clear, even obvious, to me – it could be from one of the better-written fantasies, or from a film about some medieval saga... an old man living alone in the woods; there is a shift in the... Continue reading
Posted Apr 12, 2020 at in the hall of mirrors
[A 1991 story written in Terry Wolverton's writing group; about Reid Beitrusten, who died 2 December 1983.] You’re dead, but you wanted to write stories. You were just about to get published, just about to start making it. So I’m... Continue reading
Posted Dec 2, 2019 at in the hall of mirrors
Alison Bechdel, Fun Home. Yes, it's thirteen years old now, and was actually turned into a stage show... what can I say, I'm behind the times. I've just read it. *** The blurbs treated it as complex and subtle and... Continue reading
Posted Oct 6, 2019 at in the hall of mirrors
I'm in a casual, student-y restaurant in August: which means it's fairly empty. The big, friendly black cook looks at me inquiringly – I'll stick with this cider (yes, it's fruit-flavored, shut up you) and won't have dinner for another... Continue reading
Posted Aug 12, 2019 at in the hall of mirrors
2:18 a.m. Zürich time: my thesis defense at the Jung-Institut is at 9 am. My phone's alarm is set for 6:20 – very early for me; and because I frequently get annoying side effects at night (headaches, itching, stomach aches)... Continue reading
Posted Jun 19, 2019 at in the hall of mirrors
Saturday of a three-day weekend. A benefit for the gay rugby team... they're sweet guys, I know I'll go to this thing... but last night (i.e. Friday of the three-day weekend) I did a presentation for the new student Youth... Continue reading
Posted May 25, 2019 at in the hall of mirrors
Well... not quite the anniversary. It was thirteen years since this blog was begun... as of yesterday. A day late, that's appropriate for a thirteenth anniversary, yes? ••• No posts since the new year; which doesn't mean I'm giving up... Continue reading
Posted May 15, 2019 at in the hall of mirrors
When you read older fiction and someone refers to dragging a steel bath into the kitchen and filling it with kettles of boiling water, do you wonder... what would that be like? I don't think I could stand it. •••... Continue reading
Posted Jan 1, 2019 at in the hall of mirrors
Dark of the year. Winter solstice, full moon, close to each other: death and life. As everything gets slower, calmer, there is a lot of time – and a lot of mental space.... All my analysands seem charged: some are... Continue reading
Posted Dec 21, 2018 at in the hall of mirrors
It has felt like a rather heavy month at points.... Or no, it hasn't, or perhaps it has intermittently. Cheerful bits, lively bits, confidence and – and a disappointed sense of stuckness (a partial stuckness, admittedly) around the thesis, around... Continue reading
Posted Nov 14, 2018 at in the hall of mirrors
Fall... University is starting; I'm in better shape than last year – not energetic, but cheerful, calm. Frequently my body falls into a haze of slow-motion quasi-weakness – not like a sickness, just drained of energy; but it doesn't feel... Continue reading
Posted Oct 1, 2018 at in the hall of mirrors
A time of flickering changes, referents – going through books, CDs, tech, implements and bowls and glasses, my office at school, my office at home, the living room, the kitchen: the world of things. There are burdens here, and entanglements... Continue reading
Posted Sep 9, 2018 at in the hall of mirrors