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penny
I'm a writer and editor with two grown children and four grands.
Interests: parenting, yoga, bicycling, novels about India, memoir writing
Recent Activity
Grandparenting: Play is more than play when we play with our grandkids
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For years one of my granddaughters and I had a favorite game: I would be the "doctor," her stuffed animals the patients. One by one she would bring them to me, tell me what was wrong with them and assist... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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as a participant in the physical releasing of our family home--the severing of the physical from the emotional--thanks for your loving care. P.S. Tomalin book highly recommended.
Toggle Commented Apr 8, 2021 on Downsizing: Our housing decisions are emotional ones for our children at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
Observation: Carolyn Hax on what to do if a grown child pushes you away.
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The comforting way to put it is that our grown kids need space. But the far end of that need can play out in a way that translates into "they don't want us around." In answer to a reader's complaint... Continue reading
Posted Apr 5, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Addendum on travel from the Washington Post https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/travel/vaccine-covid-travel-wait-safe/2021/03/31/e725b1f2-9166-11eb-a74e-1f4cf89fd948_story.html
Toggle Commented Mar 31, 2021 on Covid, Kids and the Comfort of a Hug: Is it safe to travel to see our kids and grandkids? at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
Covid, Kids and the Comfort of a Hug: Is it safe to travel to see our kids and grandkids?
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The headlines have been reassuring: "Grandparents are getting to hug their grandkids for the first time after getting vaccinated." Well, that's fine for grandparents who live near their grandkids or within driving distance. Those of us who have to fly--well,... Continue reading
Posted Mar 30, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Covid, Us and Our Grown Kids: We're a luckier generation.
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With the possible exception of newborns, I can't think of an age group that hasn't suffered terribly during the pandemic. Certainly, school-age and college-age children have had their worlds turned upside down; many are struggling with mental health issues from... Continue reading
Posted Mar 23, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Downsizing: Our housing decisions are emotional ones for our children
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There comes a time when the kids are grown and the house we raised them in is too big, too much to maintain, a burden to carry or a source of little and big repair bills. The roof might need... Continue reading
Posted Mar 15, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Observation: Philip Galanes on when to give our children advice about parenting our grandchildren
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Philip Galanes of Social Qs recently tackled a query by a worried grandma. Her 6-year-old grandchild was struggling at school and having temper tantrums. "His parents and teacher are working hard with him," she wrote but the writer's son was... Continue reading
Posted Mar 8, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Communication Skills: Keeping conversations with grownkids and grandkids fresh
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Keep up your own interests. That's one of my Notes to Self (see list to the right). My point when I added it to My Notes was--and still is--that the more we continue to pursue our interests (apart from our... Continue reading
Posted Mar 1, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Observations: We are unique as grandparents.
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In Lisa Carpenters book, she has an important reminder for us all: Each of us is unique and we bring different gifts to our grandchild and to our grandmothering role. Here's how Lisa puts it: Grandmothers cannot be pigeonholed. Every... Continue reading
Posted Feb 22, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Re-filled nests: Our adult children have moved in. They don't like it either.
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No matter how difficult it may be for us to host our grown children in our once-empty nests--and the pandemic has increased the number of us in that position--let's have a little compassion for them. Their childhood home may be... Continue reading
Posted Feb 16, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Vaccine Hunters: Who can helm our search for Covid protection?
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I got a shot today. My state tells me I am of an age where I qualify for the Covid vaccine. My husband I--both recovered Covid patients--had hoped to go together for shots. We signed onto various pre-register websites, but... Continue reading
Posted Feb 10, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Covid, Grown Kids and Technology: Our kids help us through the hard parts--even from afar.
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My sample may be small but here's what I see happening: Many of my friends who have managed to get their arms in the way of a covid vaccination have had the aid and assistance of their grown children. Their... Continue reading
Posted Feb 1, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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New Grandparents: Do we have babynaming rights?
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Many of us have been proactive when it comes to our handles as grandparents. We feel free to tell our kids--the parents of our grandbabies--what we would like to be called. Whether it's PopPop or Nana or something we make... Continue reading
Posted Jan 25, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Daddy Indulgence: If we're guilty of over-helping our young-adult children, is that bad?
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Scratch someone who doesn't have children and they'll probably tell you: Too much. That would be in answer to the question: Do parents do more than they should for their adult children. I had a single co-worker who dubbed my... Continue reading
Posted Jan 19, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Re-Formed Nests: Grown kids are moving back home--a trend with a Covid accelerant.
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Ever since the pandemic descended on us in March, there's been a noticeable uptick in an ongoing trend: Our adult kids are moving in with us. For some the reason is financial: the economy crashed and with it, their jobs.... Continue reading
Posted Jan 13, 2021 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Observation: Buddha's comfort for these troubling times
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Many of us will not be able to hug our children or grandchildren this holiday week. We may see them on a screen or hear them on a phone but the family traditions we usually observed--hosting a large family feast;... Continue reading
Posted Dec 21, 2020 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Holidays Together with Our Kids? Ways to decide how much risk to take.
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Our grown children are in their households. We're in ours. We may be in the same city or not. We did whatever we did over Thanksgiving but now the Christmas-New Year holidays are ahead of us. So are worsening pandemic... Continue reading
Posted Dec 14, 2020 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Empty Nest: Why are we happier than our young adult kids are?
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Economists who study happiness--yes there are such folks out there--have found that happiness (or, as they define it, satisfaction with life) is high when we're 16 years old then drops off into a U-shaped curve that doesn't peak again until... Continue reading
Posted Dec 9, 2020 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Report on Virtual Thanksgivings: Zoomsgiving fun.
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My friend Jo planned her virtual Thanksgiving with her three children, who live in three different time zones, around cocktails. She offered each child a time slot--5:00 their time zone on one of the days of the Thanksgiving weekend. She... Continue reading
Posted Dec 1, 2020 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Virtual Adjustments: We will have a memorable Thanksgiving even if it's digital.
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Zoom is the answer. That's what we--me, my friends, our families--tell each other when we talk about how we'll be together when we won't be together this Thanksgiving. But what will we do with Zoom--sit in front of a camera... Continue reading
Posted Nov 22, 2020 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Observation: A veteran health reporter puts this year's pandemic-afflicted Thanksgiving in perspective
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He's a health and science reporter for the New York Times and was recently awarded the 2020 John Chancellor Award for Excellence in Journalism by the Columbia Journalism school. All that background noise is by way of saying that in... Continue reading
Posted Nov 16, 2020 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Grownkids Parenting Their Parents: The pandemic threatens to make us our children's children.
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The coronavirus has been novel in more than it's medical/scientific ways. There's also been a behavioral effect: Our grown kids are parenting us--or trying to. They are not only worrying more intensely about our health and well-being but setting down... Continue reading
Posted Nov 10, 2020 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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Pandemic Fallout: Where did the family get-togethers go?
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Thanksgiving is only one of the family get-togethers upended by the coronavirus. Summer vacations, family reunions, birthday celebrations, Father's Day, Mother's Day, even funerals--lots of us have been unable to celebrate or observe any of these in person with our... Continue reading
Posted Nov 2, 2020 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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A Removable Feast: Ways to enjoy Thanksgiving together when we can't be together.
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Two more children have tested positive for Covid-19 at a granddaughter's high school. Where there were none, three have come up positive at my grandson's college. Small numbers. Controls are in place. Not to worry. But my daughter-in-law sends me... Continue reading
Posted Oct 27, 2020 at Parenting Grown Children: What Dr. Spock Forgot to Tell Us
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