Holly, I'm glad my post was helpful. I agree with you. I think I would have more problems if I didn't drink. Think about it... Do you have any friends who are always stone cold sober? I don't. Those people fuc*ing suck. In terms of Brian, he always seems to have alterior motives and probably should not be trusted. However, I don't think you'd be at much risk if he got you sauced up and took you home. He might make an interesting 30 seconds from yesterday post... But most likely it would just be some green screen shot with you sleeping in the fetal position floating through space. He is not what I would call a good closer. Thanks for your comment. Dr. Pat

Vox, You can't fight fire with fire so if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. It takes one to know one, I think you know what I'm saying. Jerry Seinfeld called, he wants joke back. Life is like a box of chocolates which is why giving is better than receiving. It really sucks when you end up with one of those cherry goop-filled nuggets and then you vomit on your shoes in the middle of your office Valentine's Day party. Peace in the Middle East. Dr. Pat

...hummingbirds...

Vox, thank you for your comment. I am happy to see you are keeping up with your apple a day. As far as the viral video goes, I have actually been vaccinated against viral videos. So while the rest of you lay people are spending your formative years reading and sending FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: emails or watching jackass TV shows, I am immune to them and can remain a productive member of society. So I apologize for wasting your time with my witticisms about David the dentist, but it seems like you do enough of that all by yourself. Don't hate the player, hate the game. Dr. Pat

I still disagree, Robin. Hear me out: - sports: better in slow motion because being able to dunk with a 5 second hang time would be sweet. Slow motion swimming, I'm not so sure. I think you might drown if you moved too slow. - babes: slow motion babes? Enough said. - dogs: dogs are pretty much awesome no matter what. But a slow motion dog makes training easier. - roller coasters - the whole point is to go fast, otherwise it's just a boring merry-go-round. Now if you're talking about watching stuff in slow motion, I have one word for you - hummingbirds.

Vox, Thank you for your comment. I am happy to know that a least one person reads my post. In response to your questions: - I do try to stick to the facts. If you want, I can provide you with some references from reliable wikipedia posts to back up my statements. No homo. But either way, my opinion is pretty much fact anyway. - Jenny McCarthy is wrong. 10/10 men and 9/10 women agree that she should have stuck to being a playmate rather than becoming an uninformed social activist. Or at least, have combined the two. She could convince some if the men that Autism is caused by yellow colored jelly beans if she did it naked. - You're right, Prayer can cure autism. I saw an ad for a church in Tiajuana where they swear they can do it. - You're an F-ing moron, the University of Phoenix doesn't offer a program in sociology. My degree is in sociabilty. Keep the dream alive. Dr. Pat

Roller coasters kind of suck in slow motion...

Another gem, Dan. So Divine...

Dan, thank you for this. Other than that, there really are no words. The Hoff!

I didn't realize the Neville brothers were such pimps. They've come a long way from the bayou.

I agree. Fake green sideburns make you 1/4 honorary Irish... Unless they are paired with cheap Elvis glasses and two other Jersey douchebag friends. Up the long ladder and down the short rope. To hell with King Billy, and God bless the Pope. If that doesn't do, we'll tear you in two, and send you to hell with your red, white, and blue.

I don't know about you guys, but I found it... The answer to EVERYTHING! I think it was a combination of the slow motion shaking of the Dark Side of the Moon prism underwear, the exploited Progeria kid, the mullet girl telling me I was sexy, and the shirtless guy in the back of the cab who had a bandage over his burned arm but was still psyched enough by the next-level beats to fist pump like tomorrow was for suckers.

I don't know who you are dan pak, but given your appreciation for the absurd, it appears you are probably worth knowing. Thanks for the comment.